Are you a threat to the Patriarchy?

[CrotchMaven]

I've been pondering this for a few days.

Probably not as much as I should be, in my case. What about you?

I think I'd rather ignore the patriarchy then threaten it.

Fideline, I'm not sure it's possible to ignore patriarchy, is it? (happy to be corrected here). What I mean is, if you live in a patriarchal society then in order to participate in society you can't really ignore it - what do you think?

Yes, I am a threat to patriarchy. As is everyone else on this thread. I am so surprised people have said no. Simply by being aware of patriarchy you are a threat. One comment challenged is a threat. One woman supported, one situation made slightly less shitty for a woman, is a threat. There is no need for placards and marches. What we need is a 50% of the population realising they're worth something. And that's done with a smile, a hand up, an acknowledgement of achievement and suffering, simple eye contact that tells the "good girl" that it's ok for her to speak up, that you're on her side. I am a threat because I love the women in my life and I will back them up come hell or high water.

Fideline, I'm not sure it's possible to ignore patriarchy, is it? (happy to be corrected here). What I mean is, if you live in a patriarchal society then in order to participate in society you can't really ignore it - what do you think?

Well, I mean in the sense that if one is reacting against it, one is still being dictated to by it.

I increasingly try to ignore it and plough my own furrow/ dictate my own terms/ insert similar cliche.

Maybe I am just depressed by the seeming lack of progress in more than two decades of adulthood, in terms of things like the pornification of culture, the pinkification of small girls etc.

But doesn't the fact that you have to ignore it and plough your own furrow mean that you are in fact a threat? What I mean is, by ignoring it, you are threatening it because a big part of patriarchy is controlling women and dictating to them. You are fighting against that.

I hope so. I do my best whenever I can, in little everyday things.

But you know, even before I understood anything about feminism and the patriarchy I was seen as "scary". It always made me think of that quote about being called a feminist whenever you did or say anything that distinguishes you from a doormat.

Interesting cailin. I hope so.

Hard to judge, of course, when your back is firmly turned .

I never post on here as everyone always seems so much more knowledgeable than me. However, yes I hope I am a threat. I have always held feminist view points and always been vocal about them.
I am a LP raising my son a feminist, earn my own living and have never relied on a man for anything. I choose to remain single as I prefer it and couldn't care less that others think my life choice as strange. Many of my married friends express their envy of my independence.

Since ds started school last year he'll often come home trotting out sexist viewpoints he's heard at school and every day I'll have to explain that no there's no such thing as girls/ boys activities etc, just activities that anyone can do. So yes, I challenge the everyday sexism he is exposed to. It's an uphill battle for sure but one that I am more than prepared to fight.
I also challenge sexist comments from adults wherever I encounter them.
I am grateful my own father who is almost 70 has always believed in equalism as I like to call it. Always did his share of childcare/housework and fought to be at my birth in the early 70's.
Feel like I'm rambling now but my point is, yes I like to believe I am a threat by choosing how I live my life and refusing to accept the limitations society would like to place on me.

I try to outearn all men and help my daughters to do so. Gradually women are starting to earn and continue to earn more than men year by year and more men are being forced to do domestic stuff at home in equal amounts to women. Never let a man for a day at home do less domestically than you do.

Yes, I am a threat. I have to be, I'm a woman who wants a better world.

I threaten it by being quite successful in a career usually designated for men. I think I threatened it this morning by comparing biceps with our Estates team and winning. I challenge it by encouraging my daughter to regularly piss off the boys in her school by being apologetically better at science and maths than all of them. DH threatens it by cheerfully abandoning his career to be a SAH parent. Now that he's finally gone back to wok he's open about the fact that I'm the one with the career and he just has a job that allows him time to do all the parenting tasks.

He patriarchy isn't as strong as once was? On which planet would that be? Because it sure as he'll isn't this one, where women in developed countries still earn less than me. For doing comparable jobs, where women's healthcare is the business of her boss and men's isn't? And that doesn't even consider developing world misogyny.

Patriarchy is alive and well and very quietly patting women on the head and telling them to fuck off back to the kitchen and make it a sammich. We do what we can to chip away at it. We have a long old way to go yet though.

I think the very existence of feminism is a threat. That's why we do see backlashes. No threat? No backlash necessary.

I do the daily thing of squashing stereotypes and confounding stereotypes.

Occasionally I let the sexist comments go if I think the speaker is too stupid to understand why they are being offensive or ignorant. You can't treat everything as if it's the Battle of Waterloo or you would spend your life with your guts churning in indignation. Doing is usually better than talking.

One of the most useful things I think I have done is to teach my daughters not to be victims and not to willingly put themselves in a position of dependence or vulnerability i.e just simply not to stand for shit, zero tolerance of abusiveness, always make sure you have the wherewithal to walk away and take responsibility for your own actions as that is part of being liberated and part of equality.

We are still in the interim generations of liberation and equality and to continue laying the groundwork for our daughters and granddaughters I believe is where it's at currently.

And I agree with Jane - out earn men if you have the talent and ambition. In a capitalist society money is real power.

I call it when and where I see it.

So probably not a threat but perhaps a niggling PITA to the patriarchy?

unapolegetically slug?

So nothing's changed for the better since the seventies? Clearly the answer is yes... so clearly the patriarchy is not as strong. It doesn't make it not strong, it makes it less strong.

One of your examples is also really about money, not gender. Even if the wildest dreams came true wrt gender, the rich would still have power over the poor. So many of these issues are also about economic class.

Another I like to do is when a man at work says his wife is expecting to ask him what childcare he will be using.

I don't think the patriarchy is looking for a sammich any more, it's more telling us to give it a bj. And damn well like it!

Yes I think I am. I challenge any sexist rubbish I hear, whether from men or from women. I work with parents and I always challenge any gender stereotyping I hear from either them or from fellow professionals - this is steady work, believe me!

I encourage the female staff members I manage to behave like adult professionals, rather than giggling and hair tossing their way through life at work. I challenge them but am also quick to highlight any good work they have done and I praise their judgement when appropriate.

I try to be but not as much as I'd want. Will do my best in the next few years.

Def yes in raising the dds, or so I hope.

yes I am a threat to the patriarchy.

and so is every other feminist. shop being so self deprecating!

I don't think the patriarchy is looking for a sammich any more, it's more telling us to give it a bj. And damn well like it!

Yes to that. Patriarchy is alive and well it's just different from the 70s. I see things as being infinitely worse for girls of today compared to girls growing up in the 80s.

Surrounded by pink (so you know what you can and can't play with) seeing porn at the age of 8 (on average)

Being expected to show pictures of yourself naked to someone, and when you do it having it be available forever and to everyone you have (and haven't met). Expectations of what you should do in bed become more and more degrading what you can wear becoming more and more revealing... women's body hair is becoming extinct.

I think I was actually quite lucky to be born when I was...

And yes, I do see myself as a threat to patriarchy. Dh is a different man form the one I met over a decade ago (and put up with because I was young and naive). My children are all being raised to be feminists.

Yes, in my small way. I am a high earning lone parent, raising two teenage boys. I fill both the traditionally male and female roles in our household. I feel I should do more but I am just too knackered