'Men are domestically abused more often than women'

[Fifyfomum]

Someone has just said this to a room full of people I am training with.

I am so angry because I KNOW that is is not true. I sort of said 'I don't think that is true' and he completely disregarded it.

What I wanted to say is 'I know that is not true, I am doing a degree in social justice and I research this sort of stuff all the time'

I am just so annoyed people will come out with such nonsense before actually exploring the facts. Drives me bloody mad!

Rant over (maybe)

Capt I did pipe up and say that of that 781k, 20% were by other men but they were all on the 'oh its just statistics and it doesnt mean anything' high so nobody really listened to me.

So, 624,000 men out of a sample of 2 million domestic abuse cases were abused by women. Is that 31 per cent? That is a lot of abused people. Any figures on how many women are abused in same-sex relationships?

What about education, class, race or other factors? Are there any significant characteristics of the abusers? Given the appalling treatment of abuse victims by the police, how many repeat offenders could have been convicted first time? Do we have a significant group of people who keep doing it, and keep getting away with it?

"I am so angry because I KNOW that is is not true."

How do you "know"? If a man is abused he can't exactly call the cops like a woman can can he? If he did he would either be arrested himself or ridiculed.

Could a male victim of domestic abuse call a helpline or domestic shelter? Oh yeah I forget they are all for women-only.

Of course a man can call the cops. He has just as much ability to do that as a woman and look... 781k did call the police so clearly it does happen

Don't rise to the trip trap nonsense of gilogowu

I think its a little unfair to accuse gilogowu of being a troll - ok so she/he doesn't make their point very well but it absolutely IS an important factor and is likely to skew the statistics. One would hope the writers of these reports have factored this into their conclusions. But then for every man that doesn't report because he is embarrased there will be women who don't report because they are ashamed or terrified. I think it is very difficult to get a full picture just based on reported incidents in both genders as many many cases of DV and DA will go unreported. The sad fact is that we can probably add many more numbers, to both.

Goligowu has registered here for shits n giggles.

And I'd like to highlight this from the linked article, especially the first two points:

•The data does not differentiate between cases where there is one incident of physical conflict/abuse/violence or those where violence is repeated. If we look at the data for where there have been four or more incidents, then approximately 80% of victims are women

•The data does not differentiate between incidents where violence and abuse are used as systematic means of control and coercion and where they are not

•The data does not include sexual assault and sexual violence

•The data does not take account of the different levels of severity of abuse/violence, ‘gender symmetry’ is clustered at lower levels of violence

•The data does not take account of the impact of violence, whether the level of injury arising from the violence or the level of fear. Women are six times more likely to need medical attention for injuries resulting from violence and are much more likely to be afraid

•The data does not differentiate between acts of primary aggression and self-defence, approximately three quarters of violence committed by women is done in self-defence or is retaliatory.

Could a male victim of domestic abuse call a helpline or domestic shelter? Oh yeah I forget they are all for women-only.

www.mensadviceline.org.uk/mens_advice.php.html

I always think it's helpful to get your basic facts right before you jump into a debate.

Nothing stopping men setting up more of their own helplines as well. That's what women have done.

Why does the data not include sexual assault or sexual violence?

I don't understand that.

Like I don't understand why when they work out what % of women in the UK have been sexually assaulted etc they ignore anything that happened to them before the age of 16.

It's all a bit weird.

Re the call the cops point I would like to point out that the whole point of the report is that when DV victims contact the police about DV, they frequently get told to piss off (in effect). So whether women have a greater ability to report DV than men or not is moot to a certain extent.

I think the basic point is that he shouldn't be throwing out statistics without being able to reference where he found them.

This is a very serious political issue. For most women, it is also a very serious emotional issue. The OP addresses this issue from both angles as she raised this point with the man concerned from a political point of view and she clearly shows that it affected her on an emotional level when she states her need to "rant" about it. For someone to then talk about the issue in derogatory and casual slang terms such as "pissing contest" and "arse" and to phrase their questions in a deliberately casual style, "Any statistics?" is insensitive, to say the least, and an excellent example of how language is used to undermine women's concerns.

I would just like to add I would have (and will again) raise the issue with either a man or a woman. It wasn't about a 'pissing contest' it was about being factual correct in a situation where others may be influenced by bullshit