Is it right to prioritize my daughters educational opportunities over my sons - since she has to contend with sexism ?

[calopene]

We have limited resources so would it be ethically right to give our daughters more educational ops than our sons ? Things like school trips /extra curricula/trips abroad/work experience .....

Is this related to the wedding thread? There were 6 in that too.

Has to be a wind up, surely nobody "experiments" with their children.

Whilst males may fare better in life, both genders have the same education. Both can go to uni and both and can go onto careers. However many women choose not to work so even if you go with your plan she may just marry and stay home.

It's a good idea to teach all kids to cook, sew, clean, change plugs etc, definitely.

How utterly bizarre to discriminate against your own children on the basis of their gender! If you are for real OP I suggest you go for counselling.

Provide support and extra opportunities based on need, not sex.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with looking at what you think will benefit your children most over the course of one summer and spend more on some that others. So if you think that everyone will have a happy and productive summer if you send your two girls to an educational activity and teach your four boys something new at home then that's fine. You don't have to spend the same amount of money or do exactly the same things in order to give your children balanced opportunities.

This summer for example I am spending about $600 on four camps for dd, whilst ds went abroad to stay with my mother for a week and is otherwise at home. Last term she had two out of school activities and he had one. The reason being that she has had a rough friendship time and needed lost of distraction (plus I couldn't find anything that ds agreed to do!)

Systematic discrimination purely on gender rather than personality, interests or circumstances is another matter though.

No, you should be sending your thickest children.

The brightest ones will do well where ever they are. (And will be able to figure out how to bake and sew without you showing them).

This is a wind up, isn't it?

You're Katie Hopkins, aren't you?

"However many women choose not to work so even if you go with your plan she may just marry and stay home." That seems incredibly similar to the arguments for not educating women in the first place. Did you mean to sound so sexist, HappyMumofOne?

The OP isn't wrong when she says her boys will benefit from male privilege. Just wrong (IMO) about how to sort it out.

On average, men die younger than women. Will you also be compensating for this by spending more money and effort on your sons' health and nutrition?

Wasnt being sexist scallop, simply pointing out that no matter how much education the OP gives her daughter she may simply marry and not work like thousands of others do. Its about drive and determination.

Its not just education girls need as they can have that anyway, its positive role models, growing up seeing that just like men they can work and raise a family etc. Education alone isnt enough to ensure a career.

Good role models of working mothers can help.

Would you have said that about her sons HappyMumofOne?

And I think you have to be careful with statements such "just like men they can work and raise a family etc." because traditionally men haven't worked and raised a family. They have worked and left the raising of families to women.

"Education alone isnt enough to ensure a career." You are certainly right there otherwise women would be doing much better in the workplace in terms of the pay gap and boardroom percentages.

By doing that, you would be changing things around so that your son now has to contend with sexism. Nice.

Frankenstein is not a parenting guide...

I work full time in a professional job - as does my partner. We both do equal shares with regard to childcare and household chores.

We have 6 children to care for but they are not all our birth children - we care for some on an SGO as otherwise at a very young age they would have been placed outside the family. We are happy and fortunate to have the opportunity to raise them but does mean we have to make choices.

I am surprised about the vitriol meets such an idea .
We do our best for all of them - we privately educate all of them this is just about holiday care/activities.

I have taken extended leave over holiday to care for the children as has my partner.

Oh good lord. If this isn't a wind up then I really feel for these poor children.

But surely you can't possibly say
"Look Jack, we would love to send you on the trip to Italy but we are sending Molly, not you, as she's a girl and won't have the same opportunities you do"

For a start, Molly might end up with a great job and get to go to the Amalfi coast every year on her hols, while poor Jack might end up working in MacDonalds and barely ever get to go abroad. You have NO idea what life is going to throw at ANY of these children so you HAVE to treat them all equally now so at least you can say hand on heart, that you did your best for all of them.

I have taken extended leave over holiday to care for the children as has my partner.

What do you want a medal?

this post cant be for real!

if it was i would say you are being sexist... you're implying a girl wont do as well as a boy with the same amount of educational resources. Or on the flip side that a school boy should be entitled to lesser educational resources based on his gender.....

It's great that you can afford private education for all six.

So you've identified a holiday programme that's educational but you can't afford it for all (is it for this summer, by the way?) - could some go this year and some next?

COntroversially worded OP there.

What if 3 of your children were average and 3 of your children were bright?

Would you argue that you should pay for the average children to compensate for their (relative) lack of brains?

Or would you argue that you should pay for the bright children because they had more capacity to make better use of the opportunities.

This sort of thinking ends up nowhere. Treat em all the same and see how they turn out. In that sense of course parenting IS an experiment because who knows what will happen?

I am confidently predicting that DD will either be a multimillionairess or in jail by the time she's 25. Or both, of course for the two are not mutually exclusive. They'll go their own ways.

My parents did this, not for the same reasons as the OP. My sister and I went to private school and my 2 brothers were state educated. We definitely benefitted from better education and went onto more lucrative careers. It was totally unfair on my brothers, especially the younger one who was very bright and could have done better if in an environment where learning was encouraged. I definitely will not be repeating this with my own children.