In this day and age! A thread for unbelievably obvious examples of sexism.

[blackcurrants]

A thread for "I can't believe that just happened to me! In this day and age!"

Yesterday we spent about 40 minutes in a Toyota dealership, looking to spend about $10k on a used car. The salesman only asked DH's name, only wrote down DH's number, and only talked to DH about the cars available. DH kept referring to me, asking my opinion, and generally looking uncomfortable. Eventually DH snatched back his license from the salesman and said "No, I don't think so. Let's go." And as I turned I added "Joe? Thank you for your help today. I work in sales and I wanted you to know that since I walked in here you haven't asked me a single question, or addressed me directly even once. At one point you walked away from me, talking to my husband about the next car you were showing us, so that I couldn't hear what you said. I just want you to know that I earn more than my husband (actually not yet true, but soon will be!), I know more about cars than my husband (v.true), and you acted like I didn't exist. Which is why we're leaving."

When I got into our car, DH was cheering. We drove 5 miles away and bought a nissan.

As we were doing the dishes last night, talking about this, DH said "I do hope you tell Mumsnet about it." he knows me so well.

DH is always handed the credit card back because it has my title on it - Professor - and therefore because he is both male and older than me this is assumed to be him. I have even had waiters assuming I am trying to muscle in and take over 'his' card when I put my hand out for the machine to put the PIN in. Tutting that I know 'his' PIN.

My favourite was turning up to a bed and breakfast that I had booked using my title - I was at a conference. The owner of the b&b (a woman) was very confused at my appearance and finally confessed that 'since I was supposed to be a man she had decided to give me a double room because men needed bigger beds'. I assured her that this was not a problem and moved into my big man-sized bed!

Tamoo - talking to a neighbour about going to the pub and having a pint of beer - her daughter (about 14 at the time) open-mouthed said 'girls don't drink beer! I was a bit as she came from an all-female-adults household

I remember a story here where the poster tried to book a room for her and Dh, they were both doctors. There was quite a confusion - so you need 3 rooms, for Dr Smith, other Dr Smith and yourself?
-no, two, for Dr Smith and Dr Smith

• but where will you sleep then?

a conversation with my PIL to be about previous jobs i have done.

Me- I ran a security team in a nightclub for 2 years.

FIL- What you ticked people of lists and stuff, not chucking them out

Me- Well it was me that ran the teams so i had to do everything, I had 15-20 staff

MIL- But you would have got the men to chuck people out (laughing) do you know self defence (more laughing)

Me- It would depend on who got their first and yes im trained in various methods of restraint and have done martial arts and boxing

PIL-

I knwo what you mean about prolapse and pelvic floor WhoKnows
I spend a long time making sure that i've tightened all the relevant muscles before I lift anything since DD (i'm sure it happened automatically before!)
thankfully, I do belly dancing too, and am very aware of muscle movement when manual handling (who'd've thought dancing and manual handling were related!)

LRD - is it hernia? I know that one, don't know of any others. but I think women can have hernias too.

It's not just lifting with your knees, but making sure that you control the weight with not just your knees, arms, but with your whole abdomen. It's kind of tensing everything, but not really tensing. Taking the strain, I suppose

I always drink pints.
except when it's wine (i'm not that hardcore! )

Yes, hernias for men. I've always been very careful with my back when lifting, but was less aware of the pelvic floor issues, mine used to be very good from doing Pilates, but I got out of the habit after the DCs were born.

Anyway, I like a pint too. Luckily the prolapse nurse says to lift nothing heavier than a half full kettle for a few weeks, I reckon a pint will fit the bill nicely.

every day, WhoKnows - you have to do them every day until you die.

i have skipped a couple of times, and really noticed the difference.

ICutMyFootOnOccamsRazor - our department is quite OK with distributing courses, at least I haven't had to do anything I don't want to yet... But this year's mission is to bloody get them to NOT call me "miss".

According to the BBC a "female British soldier" has had a baby

I reckon a pint will fit the bill nicely. So sorry you've got to have surgery, nickel, but that did make me - nice one!

I know a couple who decided to change one of their names upon marriage. He took her name. She is a university professor so they are Doctor and Mr Bloggins. She says when they go to hotels people often indicate that they 'thought we were going to be two married men.'

They are they only couple I know where the man has changed his name to match the woman's name, not the other way around or some hyphenating variant thereof. It caused problems with his family, who saw it as him 'rejecting' them. If she'd taken his name I doubt anyone would have inferred rejection of her family.

Might be, nickel, I am very hazy.

I drink pints and my dad - bless him, for all his faults - always brought me up to do so. From an inappropriately early age. So I can yak on about real ale with the best of them.

DH drinks real ale on occasion, but also likes disgusting stuff like peach-flavoured beer.

You can guess how often people come back from the bar and hand us the wrong drinks, even though we've just said them to whoever's getting the round.

libra - that is so rude! Have you got a good standard reply?

HipHop I noticed that, too - not a "British soldier" or anything, nooo, we must make clear that it's a female soldier, because ALL soldiers are MALE, innit? Except for the abberations.

If the headline had read "A British Soldier had a baby at Camp Bastion" do you honestly think people would have gone "OMG a man had a baby!" rather than work it out?

black - DH hasn't changed his name but regularly claims it's his name when booking stuff. But then, his is a right bugger for English people so it's not purely a lovely feminist gesture.

because you're not allowed to use Doctor with any other name except that which you had when you got the doctorate.
so, if you were Ms Long when you got the doctorate, you can only be Dr Long. If you got married to Mr Short, and you wanted to take his name, you can be Mrs Short, but not Dr Short.

blackcurrants - that's refreshing. :)

Oooh, I did not know that, nickel. Crikey.

I know loads of people who got their doctorate in one name, got married and changed their names, and still use 'Dr' ... are they technically not allowed to do that?!

Nickel I didn't know that. So if you get a doctorate after marriage and taking his name, you might get divorced but you're stuck with the name?

i'm pretty sure that's right, Hazle - you'd be stuck with the Dr Marriedname.
but you can probably apply to get it changed (at the University rather than the government)

It's because it's earned rather than just a title.

I could come up with so many tales of what has happened to me at med school. But I can't be bothered to type them out as they'd just make me too angry!

How I wish I could link to the email DH has just had from Sainsbury's online shopping:

'Geoff, feel as Good as you Look in Tu clothing!

5 ways to flatter your figure

Look 1: Fit 'n' flare

This style of dress suits every body shape! The top half skims over your curves without clinging, while the gently gathered waist creates a gorgeous A-line silhouette that flatters your tummy and thighs....'

can't wait to see him in that lot!

i'm trying to find a sodding reference to the rule.

I found this on netdoctors, though...

"The only legal problem they ran into was when they were taking whatever licensing examinations (2 female dentists & 1 female physician). The name they put on the examination had to be their legal name & the one on the official ID that allowed them to enter the examination. So...you have to allow enough time for your DMV to get your ID to match your legal name, if you choose to change.

However...there are many female prescribers who do change their name after licensing. I know because of their DEA #. That # always begins with either an A or B & is followed by the first letter of your last name at the time you apply for it. Many female prescribers have a DEA # that will begin with BL, for example (her maiden or previously married name @ the time of licensure was Lee perhaps) then later she married or remarried & the new name is Smith....but the DEA # never changes....it stays BL.

So...you can graduate with whatever name you want & change it at any time you want. It can be at the time of marriage, 1 yr, 10yrs or never.

I married while in school & changed my name at that time, so I graduated & became licensed with my married name & our kids have our name."

oh, go on Mummys - that's what this thread is for!

Tail [snarf]

Blackcurrants yes I honestly think there would be a moment of dissonance or double take in the brain that went, "a man had a BABY? Oh no, hang on, the soldier was female." Bit like the surgeon-is-female logic problem I mentioned elsewhere.

However it probably would be better NOT to use female as from those moments of dissonance, we learn!

ah, it can be done but it's a faff (like all name changes i suppose!)