My daughter cleans up after my sons

[maytheoddsbeeverinyourfavour]

And I have a bit of a problem with it, I was hoping by discussing it here you could help me figure out why I feel so uneasy with or if there's anything I can do about it

I have five boys and one girl, she is six. And as the title states she is often found cleaning up after her brothers. She loves to help tidy and always keeps her room clean, and is often found tidying her brothers rooms when they are supposed to be doing it. She is also very good at anything like that whereas the boys are pretty useless. If someone spills something she will jump up to take care of it, she even does a little head shake with an indulgent smile at the boys! She looks for all the world like a mini 50's housewife who has to take care of 'her boys'

Now I know she's only young, and know it'll probably all change soon, but I just can't figure out why she is behaving in such a stereotypical way, and it bugs me not least because I think that most people will assume we have 'trained' her to be that way

What makes it really puzzling is that in our house it is DH who does all the domestic duties, and we also have equal chores/responsibilities set by age so all of the children are treated equally. I just don't understand where this is coming from, and while it could simply be a personality thing it seems too much of a coincidence that out if six children it would the one girl who would behave like this

So am I barking up the wrong tree here?

The problems arise with the fact that it is so hard to tease out the social conditioning that children receive from what could possibly be innate differences. It really is a muddy field of research, which is why such specific judgements such as Rhys is making are really stretching the proverbial, if you know what I mean. I wonder if he/she believes that malarkey that came out in the popular media last year about women (stereotypically) preferring pink because they evolved to pick berries

How old are your boys? I noticed with mine (boys and girls) that most of them enjoyed 'helping' as toddlers. Some continued to enjoy tidying up as children. They mostly lost all interest in tidying up (particularly after others) as they approached or reached their teens :(

If your dd is enjoying what she is doing leave her to it. Just ensure she knows that she is not obliged to clean up after her brothers. Chances are she will go off the idea as she gets older anyway when she finds more interesting things to do.

runningforthebusinheels

Which berries are pink? And we don't really have many berries in India - lots of orange and green mangoes... yummy. I think I def evolved to look out for mangoes.
Btw, my ds tidies and cleans after dd so balance is restored...

I am waiting for Rhys to tell me where my yellow duster gene is, which chromosome it is on and how many amino-acids make up the base pairs.

I think it must be a very recessive gene indeed since I find housework the most boring repetitive soulless waste of time (aside from watching paint dry) in the known universe.

The thing that's always got me with the "pink berries" argument is that lots of red berries are poisonous.

The pink berry theory is really interesting, especially the fact that unit the first half of the 19th century blue was the colour associated with girls as it was though to be gentle and calm while pink was associated with boys because it was seen as part of the strong masculine red spectrum.

Did this mean that berries were blue until the 19th century when they mysteriously became pink?

Oh no Rhys - don't tell me you are running away without telling me where my duster gene is?

See you on your next crusade :)

grimble, don't cry, having a duster gene is no big deal, promise.

I would rather be left in peace than in piece or is that intentional?

Thank you all, I do think you're right and I'm making a mountain out of a molehill

It could easily be just a personality thing, I just found it a bit coincidental that out of all six it was the only girl that was like this, I think I felt like I'd sort of let her down in a way if she saw herself as the one who should be doing things because she's the girl, but you're right she probably doesn't think that way at all

I will definitely take on board the rewards idea especially with the younger ones, the older ones have jobs to do (such as dog walking) that we pay them for but when it comes to general tidiness (such as taking their bowl and cup into the kitchen, putting their dirty washing into the basket etc) I do expect them to do that without any rewards

Thanks again and sorry if it was a stupid post