Rights of people with disabilities and carers.

[CaramelTree]

I've started this thread because I am concerned about the treatment of people with disabilities, both on MN and in general society. With the cuts, the new regulations around benefits and workfare and the quite disturbing representation of people with disabilities in the media, I believe that society is becoming increasing hostile towards them.

I feel this is a feminist issue because

1. Carers are disproportionately female.
2. Prejudiced attitudes to disability feed into ideas about how people contribute which I think are contrary to feminist views about the kind of world we want to live.
3. The arguments on MN on recent threads include the belief that people with disabilities and their carers are discriminating against mothers by wanting priority access to wheelchair spaces. Discriminating against mothers is a feminist issue, but I have never seen a regular poster from the FWR support this argument and I consider the analogy in itself to be disabilist.
4. A shorthand set of terms is being used to create a stereotype around MNers who are carers or have a disability. While we are strident, crazy and angry, they are considered to be bitter, selfish and needy. I feel we need to challenge the language and the goading of posters with disabilities.

There have been threads before on here where posters have asked if the situation around carers is a feminist issue, and while it was acknowledged that it was, I think 'we' (people who are on the boards a lot - not suggesting there is a hive mind) lacked ideas on how to support them. I know people on here campaign about the cuts, but I think it would be positive if 'we' could support people on MN who have experiences with disability, because it seems to me that those posters are leaving/considering leaving, and MN will be intolerable without them.

I think caring is very much a feminist issue and I think we should all be concerned about this governments unrelenting demonisation of people with disabilities. I have been reading reports of people with disability taking their own lives because of the discrimination they face and because of the cuts and the Atos assessments which seem to magically cure people all in the name of removing support and benefits.

"This group is established to galvanise opposition to the current vicious attack on the fundamental human rights of disabled people by the Government of the United Kingdom utilising ?Work Capability Assessments? (as administered by ?AtoS Healthcare Ltd? on behalf of the Department of Work and Pensions ?DWP?) to re-classify sick and disabled individuals as ?fit for work? ? in flagrant violation of all accepted medical, and human, ethical standards" From the Black Triangle Campaign Group
blacktrianglecampaign.org/ if anyone here would like to support them, they are doing a great deal to try and combat the cuts and the culture that this government are creating.

agree w doublelife. It's v difficult with preschool children, gets a bit easier later but school buildings aren't fully accessible so I can't see dd's artwork, eg.

women as mothers/wives/domestic workers/sahms are economically invisible and financially worthless, like disabled people. Like all low ranking people (also applies to race) we're defined by our physical being which is obv defined as inferior. The 'choices' mainstream liberal society will accept revolve around those inferior differences eg sex industry 'choice' for women, (must be provided for disabled men, obv - not misogynist or patronising ), 'right to die' for disabled - no right to accessible housing though.

Not that I'm bitter...

I meant a rl group, like at children's centre, is it something disabled mums would want? Do they feel unable to access normal stay and plays and it doesn't meet their needs? Or the need for a rl support group?

I agree OP, well put.

Oh julia well put...

Read a list of horrifying stats recently:

• disabled women more likely to face discrimination than any other group (except the hat trick of woman, disabled, black of course!)
• disabled women face more discrimination that the sum of being a woman + being disabled
• dw (disabled women ... Too long to repeat sorry!)... Dw are more likely to be in poverty... To be in abusive relationships... To be unemployed... To be in debt... Etc etc etc

Basically society makes it a hell of alot easier to go & die quietly than access even basic human needs (let alone 'rights')

I'm currently waging my own personal war for a RIGHT TO LIVE
It's sodding hard & unless we are aiding by positive government legislation... We will never have basic needs or rights.,. As there are too many emotional barriers / cognitive dissonance for people/ individuals to accept it all .

Wud write more but in pain now sorry the stats r vague... & wanted to share my thoughts on the barriers to people caring/ accepting/ helping disabled women/ mothers

nailak I would love a rl group but the strain of getting there would be immense, & as I am only just subsisting as it is (in terms of pain, energy, health, childcare, money etc etc), it would be the luxury that I couldn't afford to splash out on :(

Actually sums up disabled mothers (& carers?) double bind v well

so do you think that disabled mothers groups in childrens centre wouldnt work? what could the childrens centre do to make it easier for disabled mothers to access the services??

i feel my childrens centre has some good relationships with carers, as in the family support workers visit them, help them come to groups by picking them up and walking with them etc, do disabled mothers need the same sort of thing?

I think people are going down slightly the wrong track, all playgroups, childcare, social centres should have provision for children with sn. Otherwise segragation takes place, and debates like the bus related threads we just had will persist becouse other parents will not have any knowledge of the extra difficulties caused.

On a diffrent note I would also argue that the focus on carrers is somewhat at odds with the thread title as, although careers and disabled people have many similarities in the way society ognores their needs. Essentialy disabled children and adults have their own battles and causes some of which are in direct conflict to the careers.

so what can childrens centres do to increase the accessibility of their provision to disabled mothers?

Thankyou for starting this thread x

I am a registered disabled mum of 2 , DD6yrs and DS4yrs I have a chronic illness.

Am struggling so much.

I am a qualified professional in the public sector - currently not working because my employer won't give me the reasonable adjustments advised by occupational health[sad.

I want to work.
I need to work.

Financially we are really suffering and struggling to pay the bills.
Even though I am in receipt of the benefits that I am entitled to.

I am really flat in mood and have steadily been losing my confidence since I have not been working.

I trained really hard for my job and feel like I have lost my career and my financial independence through being discriminated against.

I never thought this would happen to me.

I am only in my 30's ,and feel so disappointed because now both my DC will be at school from September - I always saw myself at that point as regaining my sense of self, and progressing in my career.

But there is no job for me . due to cut backs they say - but I'm an easy target for an organisation that wants to save money.

Its always been so much a part of me (caring role ) I have been so dedicated to my job and i miss it terribly .

I have completely lost my purpose

Just marking my place on this thread, to remind me tell you about Lord Denning and DLA.

To be absolutely honest, support groups are just papering over the problem.

The real issue that caring is seen as women's work, and women's work is not seen as economically valuable (or even culturally valuable).

What needs to happen is that men take their share of caring for family members with disability, and childcare, in equal measure to women, releasing women from the burden.

I'm willing to net that it isn't even a discussion who will give up work to care. The assumption is it is the woman's job.

Raising carer's allowance from the pittance it stands at would at least send some signal that this is economically appreciated by society.

Yes, a support group might help individuals get through their day, but it would do nothing to solve any of the problems.

My DH is brilliant.

He does what he can and more to help me

A thought I've been struggling with since the sex workers thread but there hasn't really been a place to put it..

When society is at our abysmal 'best' with disabled boys, we're taught they're cute and harmless and you're a bitch if he pinches your bum and you don't laugh etc.

With disabled girls we're taught to feel sickeningly sorry for them and the burden () they place on their parents.

I know this is just another form of sexism, but why is this? I mean essentially a boy with Downs is as throwaway to society as a girl...So I'm aghast. It can't honestly just be 'well we like boys more. NERRRRRR' sure?

I've never found that sentiment anywhere, lurking.
People's responses seem far more closely linked to the acceptability/loveability or severity of the impairment rather than the sex of the child.
How odd is it? How noisy or messy or scary?
That tends to change as our children hit teenager and puberty.
Then the boys becoming men are more frequently seen as a problem or a danger, and the girls are seen as pitiful or vulnerable. In both situations, the support and tolerance plummets from the general public.

But his work won't really accept him as a carer.
When he needs to take days off to look after me , he has to take annual leave
He doesn't get much as it is.
Then for things like the school holidays, Christmas etc, he has to work through them which puts a lot of stress on us all.

My ESA will stop in a few months and we are already struggling to pay the mortgage.

I really don't know where I'm going any more.
I don't know where to turn.
I'm already on antidepressants - there is no scope to increase them.
I think I may ask for counselling to help me deal with all of feelings surrounding the impact of the illness on my life, and the amount of discrimination I have faced from my employers.

I think I would benefit from a RL disabled mothers group.
I have also had fleeting thoughts of suicide about my situation , but I know that's not an option .

nailak I don't think you're going to get positive answers on this thread.

Bluntly (though nicely!) I'm sure sure start centres could make their services more inclusive / accessible for disabled parents...

However sure start centres cannot offer the solutions to the bigger and highly critical needs of being a disabled mother. So seem a little irrelevant in this desperate context.

Until these basic needs & some of the relentless discrimination have been voiced, campaigned, legislated and provided... I'm a little preoccupied with survival (money, carers, health, work, transport, equipment, somewhere to live, and ds in everything )

Oops nanny, cross posted & dont want to seem like an arguing.

I too have thought about topping myself, but couldn't leave my toddler like that. I have down & slighterly less down days, & it's basically just bloody awful going through this.

Have you had any help from the council? I fought a huge battle with them & they have been amazing (after 5 mths of relentless meetings, complaints, researching, explaining their obligations to me eyc etc etc). I became v v ill in the process, but got substantial carer hours. Id be happy to give u advice if it wud help - pm me?

Also looked into employment law ALOT as work was trying to edge me out too, so do let me know if I can help.

disabledparentsnetwork.org.uk/

they might be helpful

for society to accommodate disabled mothers we'll need adifferent society

OK. Disability Living Allowance is help towards paying someone to do stuff for you that you can no longer do for yourself.

Bizarrely, it's not intended to cover being able to buy or prepare food, which would appear to be a basic care need.

Why? Well it turns out that in 1981 Lord Denning stated that a disabled person did not need special help to do these things - because his wife or daughter would be doing them for him anyway.

"Bodily functions include breathing, hearing, seeing, eating, drinking , walking, sitting, sleeping, getting in or out of bed, dressing, undressing, eliminating waste products - and the like - all of which an ordinary person - who is not suffering from any disability - does for himself. But they do not include cooking, shopping or any of the other things which a wife or daughter does as part of her domestic duties; or generally which one of the household normally does for the rest of the family...... ordinary domestic duties such as shopping, cooking meals, making tea or coffee, laying the table or the tray, carrying it into the room, making the bed or filling the hot water bottle, do not qualify as 'attention .... in connection with (the) bodily functions' of the disabled person. But those duties that are out of the ordinary - doing for the disabled person what a normal person would do for himself - such as cutting up food, lifting the cup to the mouth, helping to dress and undress or at the toilet - all do qualify as 'attention ... in connection with (the) bodily functions' of the disabled person."
? Parker's case, 1981, Lord Denning

double thankyou so much for your message.
Iv pm"d you. X

serial it may not be intended for those reasons - but in truth there is nothing to stop the recipient spending it on food.

Unlike a personal budget from Social Services - with DLA they don't ask you to show proof of what you have spent the money on.
There would be no repercussions for DLA recipients if it was found out that it was being spent on food.