Pubs and clubs

[sunshineandbooks]

Since having DC, I rarely visit clubs or pubs any more as my social activities tend to steer away from drinking. However, I do like a good dance, so average a night out at a club about once a year. That night out was this weekend just gone.

I had a great time, but I was struck by how awful some men can be. Some were lovely, some tried it on but took no as an answer first time, a couple were absolutely dreadful.

One guy was so persistent that not only did I have to spell it out that I wasn't interested, but I actually had to resort to "will you just fuck off".

I was with a group of girlfriends, but had I been on my own (as I used to be quite often in the past) I would have been very unhappy leaving this club with this guy still around. Likewise, if I hadn't had plenty of friends around inside the club I would have had no choice but to get the bouncers to intervene and chuck him out. TBH I wish I'd done that anyway now.

Looking around me, it was a pattern repeated all over the place, with young girls being particularly targetted. Now I handled this. I'm a 36-year-old mother of two with an abusive ex and self-defence training, but the thought of naive 18 year old girls going out there and facing this horrifies me. I know many 18 year olds are more than capable of handling this, as was I at that age, but many aren't, it's really horrible and IMO it's wrong. Why should women have to go around in groups for their own safety? They're going to a nightclub not a bloody war zone. Why are we (as in society) tolerating so much crap behaviour from sexually predatory men? Why did I think only of my self-preservation at the time instead of making a stand for all women and having him chucked out? Am I so conditioned by society that I consider this a normal part of a night out? It's really got me thinking.

As it happens, I had a great night, but I really feel like I'd like a personality test done on people before they're allowed in. Am I alone in wishing you could have same-sex (non-gay) clubs where you can go and dance without any unwanted attention?

Puchai have you been studying this?

Oh god, I went out to a couple of clubs for the first time in awhile on Saturday too. I ended up physically pushing at least two men away who were deliberately barging into or touching me and shouting nasty sweary words at at least a couple more. The whole thing ruined my night, which was a shame as it was otherwise nice to catch up with friends and have a dance. It did make a real difference that the places the group decided to go to were pretty scummy with free entry though.

InAnyOtherSoil - thanks. I usually go to slightly nicer places and don't have as many problems tbh, I think it was an exceptionally bad night. I don't know about your disability, but in a reasonable place with a group of friends around perhaps it's possible?

As someone else mentioned up thread, for some reason goth/rock clubs are less grim for this sort of thing. As are fetish and swingers' clubs. WHen I used to spend all my time in either rock clubs or sex clubs I hardly ever had hassle - but any night I went to a 'striaght' club I'd have to put up with shit half the night.