New parent not sure what to think about the endless pinkness.

[Doodlegoogle]

I'm expecting my first child - a girl.

I've started looking for a few clothes naively expecting to find plenty of choice and a range of colours and styles.

Admittedly, I've not looked far, just in the supermarkets, a couple of online places and a nearly new sale. I'm finding myself increasing disturbed by the sea of pink and am leaping on anything that isn't 'girly'.

I'm really struggling to work out what I think about this.

Part of me thinks - its just a colour. I personally quite like pink and wear a fair amount. Its not like I feel its ever affected my views as how could a mere colour do that and I consider myself a feminist. Its my stepson and my nephews favourite colour and as a wider family we've never really given that any thought so why should it matter whether a girl wears it or not. I've not previously had any issue with pink one way or the other before now.

Another part of me is developing a seriously strong aversion to anything pink and I'm somehow finding it all rather sinister. I can't believe that such tiny children are labelled 'blue' or 'pink' from such a young age and what is starting to feel like regimented uniform on the basis of gender. I really don't remember wearing much pink as a child at all and somehow am finding the whole thing sickening.

I can't work out if I'm just completely over reacting to what is simply a colour as really what difference should it make? She can wear pink, blue or rainbow coloured spots and it shouldn't make any difference. Surely, I think, there are more important things to worry about. And yet, somehow it just feels wrong and I can't quite rationalise why.

What do others think? Over-reaction or not? And if I'm reacting like this to the first tiny issue how am I going cope as a parent of a daughter when more serious things come along!?

I thought children went towards very pink or very blue once they are aware of their sex but before they realise their sex is fixed. So they latch onto what they are told/think they should like.

or did I make that up or mis-understand it?

The day DD was born, MIL turned up at the hospital with a pale pink babygro emblazoned with a "Born To Shop!" logo, a bottle, a handbag and some shoes.

There was a facepalm.

She did have a pink phase, which (thank fuck) we are now through. DS2 had/ is having a pink/ sparkly tat phase too, but sadly for him the extended family refuse to pander the way they did with DD, so he has to content himself with stealing DD's stuff.

The whole thing drives me bananas.

I had very similar feelings to you Doodle, but in the other direction (I have two boys). I make a conscious effort to seek out neutral/bright colours for them, rather than the default navy/brown/camo stuff.

H&M is great for bright colours, and these bodysuits from M&S are gorgeous too - on my wishlist for DS2, who's 17 months.

Charity shops are good for unique bits/cheap 'designer' gear - I've found that Scandinavian brands tend to be gorgeous and non-gender-specific.

If you want to PM me, I'm happy to supply you with a free bag of lovely bits that my sons wore - I regularly get asked if DS2 is a boy or a girl, so I must have cracked this particular nut

That sounds pretty credible to me, PA.
Certainly, from about the age of 2-3 until 6-7 children get very definite about what's appropriate/inappropriate for their gender and will also be the first to tell other children if they think they're "out of line".

Then you get another wave of it in adolescence as puberty makes young people more aware of their gender again and want to delineate themselves as part of their anxiety to appear attractive to the opposite sex. (Doesn't take the form of liking pink at this stage, though!!)

Oh and in case I sounded a bit smug there - DS1's favourite outfit is a Batman costume, and he lives in self-chosen character/superhero t-shirts these days!

Blackcurrants - Next sometimes has pink (fuschia) stuff for boys. (supposedly - I couldn't find any sensible woolies for girls, got a next v-necked 'boys' one for DD. Her BFF had a similar but pale pink 'boys' wooly from marks. Both girls prefer various shades of green though )

Ninth Was that an open invitation to PM? Have a 5 month DS

I was chatting to my sister about this a couple of days ago and neither of us remember having much in the way of pink clothing as children. All the photos of me I'm in trousers and dungarees in earthy colours combined with bright primary colours.

This was inspired by a party we'd both been to with our DCs, a couple had brought their baby, just starting to toddle and they'd dressed her in a huge pink meringue of dress. I really hate it when baby girls are treated like dollies. We judged, I am unrepentant.