I don't know where to post this without being flamed?

[rhondajean]

I am truly sorry for pc rathband and what happened to him. It should not have happened.

However in making him a hero, have the press etc forgotten his marraige ended becau he assaulted his wife? Or is that now okay if you have been the victim of a serious assault yourself?

I'm in no way defending PC Rathbone but name-calling isn't really on a par with being blinded.

IMO,to many generalisations,stats being applied to a v specific case
was it wong to assault wife - yes of course
can one take global stats and apply specifically - not really

I still think it wrong to presuppose anything according to statistics.

I've only seen the bbc report where they put hero in quotation marks anyway so perhaps I missed rhondas point.

If PC Rathbone had assaulted someone other than his wife, say someone else's wife people would be far more condemning, but as he was married to his victim it wasn't as bad! His son called the Police to report the violence against his wife, so it must have been pretty bad.

And he wasn't a hero, he got shot. Lots of people get shot without being heroes.

thecarbonaraPan it's naive to say he can't have become violent after being blinded. I thought it was not uncommon for peopke suffering a disability/serious illness to have a personality and some become violent through frustration.

I feel very sorry for him. The use of tge word hero doesn't sit right but not because of tgat, if he is a hero so is every police officer going to work.

statistics work on a population level, they're not evidence on an individual level. Sally Clark's life was destroyed because of misused statistics, Lucia de Berk was wrongly convicted because of misuse of statistics.

I don't see how speculation based on statistics adds anything to this. Saying that there must have been a long history of violence before the accident, because that fits in with the general situation that on average a large number of assaults happens over a long time is bunkum. There are always outliers.

I don't know when the assaults started, you don't know either. The only one who does is his wife. I don't think that idle speculation that he must have been a wifebeater for years helps anyone. It's just titilation, and I find that quite awful.

"thecarbonaraPan it's naive to say he can't have become violent after being blinded. I thought it was not uncommon for peopke suffering a disability/serious illness to have a personality and some become violent through frustration."

LovesBeing - I didn't say he can't have become violent after being blinded at all. I speculated that given 1.the speed with which a long marriage broke down apparently after only one assault 2. the pressure which would have been on her to remain as she would be judged harshly for abandoning a 'hero' and 3. the fact that she did not attend yesterday's memorial service when all other family members did indicates the rift was very deep and worth making a 'public statement' over.
I don't think any of that is "naive" as you say. It's based on observable traits in human behaviour, and fits directly into the behaviour of a woman who had just had enough.

Re the wife leaving.

It is IMO worth remembering that this is not a "standard" marriage breakdown.

Both partners will have been affected by the disability.
Not all marriages survive one partner becoming disabled.

The man was shot in the head fgs.

A head injury can lead to behaviour changes. To insinuate he may have hit his wife before this incident is disgusting. You know nothing about their situation.

Regarding his wife, she IS going to his funeral, which is private. Maybe she felt she didn't want to appear on live TV with millions of people judging her and her family and watching her every move.

This thread is disgusting.

I read today (in the Mirror, which I admit is not necessarily the source of the absolute truth) that it was his son that he attacked and that he'd been having an affair with a charity worker. Makes me a bit about his tweets about losing his wife and family, tbh.

It's sad that Moat shot him and that he had such a struggle with life afterwards. Not quite sure how that makes him a hero, though. Certainly not more than Moat's other victims.

And it's RATHBAND.

This must be one of the worst examples of disabelist threads I have ever come across.

Man becomes disabled through act of violence carried out by stranger in a totaly unprovoked attack. Man is left blinded and by many recorded accounts in constant pain that no level of pain relief can control. Goes on to lose all sense of self, independence, value, and place in society.

Same man is then involved in DV for which he is spoken to by police (I think he was taken to police station but that is not important.) Wife the victim of DV leaves the home and man. Man consequently hangs himself.

Now what the fuck are we talking about, why is it any of our beezwax, what right has anyone got to go about chucking meaningless stats about when the only people who know the truth have said nothing.

It is disabelist to suggest that it was his disability that caused him to be a dv abuser, it is also disabelist to say that other disabled men do not dv, the fact that men have a disability hasd nothing to do with dv. How people not just in this case theman deal with sudden and life changing physicle and emotiopnal damage is the issue.

I agreee with you NOT

The man has been dead less than 2 weeks and people are speculating about his life. And gosh, something has been printed in The Mirror, so it must all be true.

Just resist your urges to gossip about someone who you DO NOT know.

I know it's a cliche but this thread is an example of why the feminist board gets so much stick. Some of you make huge sweeping assumptions/generalisations based on very few facts about the individual circumstances.

Shows a complete lack of intelligence.

I must admit that I did hope that maybe the death of PC Rathband might make some of the people who lauded Raul Moat as some kind of modern day folk hero rethink that.

The fact that so many people lauded Moat as a hero when he really was a violent abusive murderous bastard was disturbing to say the least.

Out of the two men I know which I am happier to have the term "hero" applied to. However personally I don't really like words like hero and brave applied to people who have had stuff happen to them, or done to them, I prefer the word applied to people who have done something IYSWIM.

It certainly is terribly sad about the policeman though.
It was also terribly sad about his other victims.
The whole thing was awful.

Completely agree with ScottishMummy.

He found a life as a blind man without fulfilment.

Although this thread is trying to make a serious point I do find it a bit distasteful. Of course violence is wrong - we all know that. But the fact is if anyone ever had a better 'excuse' I've yet to see it. I feel terribly sad for his wife - she must have had a complete nightmare coping with his sudden disability, change in personality etc - plus the very public nature of their problems and having to walk away from marriage to a 'hero'.

But the fact remains PC Rathband was working as a public servant and paid a huge price for that. An interview on R4 the other morning said that he was a strong willed guy who found it incredibly difficult to surrender control to people - used to being an alpha male type. He was also in constant pain. He did not deserve what happened to him and I felt very sad to hear of his death. I just wish that if he was beating anybody he had been able to beat up the cretins who turned Raoul mad bastard Moat into some kind of folk hero.

I think posie it was more to do with both the loss of vision and the constnt pain. If he like many others have done found a way to find piece of mind, then like many others have done he could have found a purpose and a level of contentment with his life. The fact that he was unable to was not a failure on his part it is more of a failure of society to truly value the lives of people with disabilities. And it perhaps shows once again a lack of support in dealing with the physicle and emotional pain.

However incase this becomes too much about the "menzs" let us not forget about his wife who has lost her husband and has had to go through as big a loss of her own independence and identity as Rathbon did, as well as the DV which she I am sure would have been horrified and traumatised by no matter how long it had been going on.

No DV is acceptible and no use of the word hero unless it relates to an action IMO

One point of statistics is to assess the probability of an event.
Not unreasonable to use statistics to examine a specific case.

Julie your probability flies out the window does a massive crap on your lawn, flies due south has a lovely winter in the sun before flying back and nosediving straight back in to the shit it did earlier.

The laws of probability get less and less reliable the more complex the equation, like a random act of violence bringing sudden and untreatable illness and disability.

That poor man went through a hell so terrible that he was driven to suicide. How awful it must have been for him that he felt that death was his only release. You have no right to judge him.

I don't like the media building people up as heroes. Too often, they do that just to knock them back down when the wind changes and it looks like that approach might sell more advertising space.

Sadly, there are police officers, ambulance crew, nurses, fire officers, social workers, teachers and other public servants who are injured, suffer long term mental or physical health problems or are even killed while carrying out their jobs of trying to ensure the health, safety and welfare of other people. In that respect, they are ALL heroes, whether the papers report it or not.

I think the OP's point is that some behaviours and actions may "take the shine" off a hero in the media, make them less likely to be lauded in the press, particularly if crime or something seen as "immoral" is in their background. However, domestic violence doesn't seem to be a big deal. Look at Frank Sinatra, George C. Scott, John Lennon, Sean Connery, James Brown, Stan Collymore, Paul Gascoigne, Phil Tufnell, Chris Brown, etc. All were violent towards their partners. All retained significant support from fans and the media after the beating their partners. It just didn't register as being that important.