Verbal abuse from men in public.

[carernotasaint]

Im dreading summer. I hate it. Im currently trying to lose weight but i sometimes get comments like this in the street and it makes me so angry.
Its just another way that some men need to feel superior to women.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2104888/Mother-sheds-stone-time-wedding-strangers-insult-nightclub.html

On Friday i got the first 'stupid comment from a man' i've had in ages:

Had to walk past window cleaner (my age approx) into the dentists' surgery - narrow path so he had to stop cleaning for a moment to let me past:
Him: 'do u want a wash love'
Me (running late): 'haha no thanks'
Him: 'are u SURE u don't want me to give u a wash love'
Me (very serious, concerned expression): 'but i had a shower this morning, can't u tell?'
Him (had obviously expected me to blush etc): 'er.. oh.. ok..'

Me (grin): 'Bye then!'
No response, & no hassle leaving the dentist either.
But no, clearly he wasn't insecure at all. Very cheeky & wanting to embarrass me. Tbh the Anti-depressants i take have (put bluntly) saved my life; but also make me quite uninhibited about saying what i think - ok in that scenario but i'll need to be careful when i go back to work...

I agree with Latara that these men are bullies, and so pick on anyone they perceive to be vulnerable. That is not to say that the women they target have brought it on themselves in any way - but that it really has not much to do with their attractiveness. These creeps make themselves feel powerful by taunting women.

I'd love to read more about bullying and feminism, google just brings me guff about feminists being bullys, so if anyone has any suggestions it would be appreciated. It strikes me that bullying is so often used to keep us in our place, crabs-in-a-bucket style.

I love this assumption that women are never the perpetrators and this probably crosses over to the thread about groups. As a wheelchair user I am not looking forward to the weather change either. When the weather is bad the doctor will come to me but likes to see me getting out and about in the warmer weather. The one thing more than any other I dread is the early morning fasting blood test, not because of the needles but because of the journey. I have to pass 2 primary schools and a nursery to get to my doctors and it is passing those building that is uncomfortable. Some women seem to think that I am deaf as well as being a wheelchair user and yes I am over weight so have had comments about my weight, being in a wheelchair and the lovely statement of "well I don't really want to explain that man to my CHILD" accompanied by the nodding of heads from other mothers. The assumption that that women do not do it is really very wrong.

This thread is specifically about verbal abuse from men.
Look at the title.

So verbal abuse doesn't matter unless it is from men?

Start a thread about what you think is important Tony. The title of this one is very clear - "verbal abuse from men in public". You're derailing.

No I am challenging the concept put forward here that only men do it.

Tony, you would find a lot of support if you posted a thread about verbal abuse of the disabled and how to combat it. It's an important issue.
But so is the verbal abuse of women by men which is about some men's attitude that women are lesser people and fair game for abuse.

Nobody has put forward that idea Tony.

Please stop derailing the thread. If there's an issue you feel is important start your own. What you are doing is rude to the OP.

On topic some stuff I'm thinking about...
How to respond to street harassment? Is it better to say something to show it's not ok behaviour or ignore?( well I guess it depends on the situation)

And it's not up to us women to prevent it, so is there anything society as a whole can do...? - hmmm-

I'd advocate having a go back if you can think of something useful but not if you think there's a chance that the man or men may physically attack.
For instance, builders up ladders are unlikely to descend in order to assault you and will probably shut up and look stupid if challenged. Bunch of stroppy pissed up yoot near a dark alley - better to get away.

I'm common so I feel quite comfortable yawping "Fuck off you sad twat!"

christ almighty, is there no clearly-signposted space that is not fodder for the derailers ?

tony, you have a beef, it may be a legititmate one, but stop making this thread about "how women do it too"

I've always either ignored or done a rude gesture in response - not quick enough to think of any witty retorts, and TBH it sends me into a bit of an anxious state so tend to want to get away ASAP.