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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

What is the appeal of the 50s housewife thing?

85 replies

blobtobetter · 10/01/2012 19:05

Was thinking about this today. What is so appealing about the 1950s stereotype of a housewife? It seems like there is a return to old fashionedness and sort of twee stuff. Kirstie Allsopp and her craft bits and comments about putting husbands first and all that.

It just seems like you would be dependant totally on someone else and if they left you would be stuck!

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 08/02/2012 20:23

I'm not that reductionist
What/who pays your broadband,laptop,fills fridge,pays accommodation
....errrrr at would be capitalism
so protest all you wish but your online.that ain't free.at some point labour exchanged for money

lollygag · 08/02/2012 20:32

I think you'll find that a lot of broadband,laptops,food and accommodation is paid for using Tax Credits,Child Benefit,Local Housing Allowance,Disability Allowance,Income Support,Child Maintenance and a host of other benefits.That would be Socialism.

snapsnap · 08/02/2012 20:38

Women like Kirstie Allsopp, Gwyneth Paltrow etc who espouse being a 1950's style housewife, are actually independently wealthy. They worked for their money. Emma Bridgewater and Cath Kidson have built whole industries around this premise and the irony is that they too are independently wealthy.

I have a couple of friends who model(ed) themselves on this ideal. One is now divorced and struggling with the day to day elements of being a SAHM and is drinking. She had become so pampered and dependent that everyday chores leave her at a loss.

Another is actually not married, just living with the father of her children. He is successful but it turns out he has been secretly having an affair. She is beyond exposed and I cant understand why she put herself in this position without being married

scottishmummy · 08/02/2012 20:38

Lol,you got an inadequate gasp on reality and politics
Socialism is redistributive,but here is the rub someone has to work to pay taxes,ni etc to redistribute.and the act of exchanging labour for financial remuneration...thats capitalism

The socialist laptop...priceless couldn't make that up

lollygag · 08/02/2012 20:42

I used to drink in a pub called 'The Socialist Laptop'!

EdlessAllenPoe · 08/02/2012 20:46

my grandmother looked bloody amazing in her self-stitched 'Chanel' tea dress with tight-pleated and tiny-waisted full circle skirt. looking at the picture you'd think she did nothing but sip tea and attend Nice Parties.

she ran her own business and it was very, very hard work indeed. my Mum was their main employee and pair of hands. but the picture looks nice.

i suppose the appeal of the 'fifties' housewife is the idea that if all you had to do was housework, and all he had to do was earn money, it would be easier for both of you. But life isn't that simple. the fact that your husband has worked a 60 hour week wouldn't let him off for not picking up after himself. and just because all you had to do was housework, it wouldn't mean you'd actually stay on top of it. i think couples generally find things to be pissed off about regardless - or not - depending on the strength of relationship/ level of twattitude present. Fifties couples did too - but it doesn't show in the pictures...

lollygag · 08/02/2012 20:50

Let's face it if you were a housewife in the 50's you weren't going to get distracted from your chores by satellite tv,internet pornography or Call of Duty like so many of today's so called 'Housewives'.

backjustforaminute · 08/02/2012 20:57

Has anyone read the Nella Last diaries? They go from just before the war to the mid 1950s. She was a "perfect" housewife, and although she loved her sons and husband she wasn't exactly happy.

It's a shame because in her first diary she is smart and lively, and talks about things that she wants to do, like go travelling. Then over the years gets more and more tired and ground down, never goes travelling and doesn't even mention it anymore. Though that may be due to age rather than being a housewife, of course.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 08/02/2012 21:00

Capitalism is not defined by the the 'act of exchanging labour for finacial remuneration' - Capitalism is the system by which the means of production are owned privately and controlled by a free market. It is possible to be paid for your labour in a socialist state but you would not be a wage slave working 'for the man' .

You need to get a better understanding of the defintions you bandy about SM - but heck what do I know I am a fluff brained 50's housewife.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 08/02/2012 21:01

Gah! 'Financial' typing in semi darkness is never a good idea.

scottishmummy · 08/02/2012 21:50

Wage slaves as you put it enable housewives to stay at home
Unwaged.not working
Whilst the salaried adult one wage provides for the consumer durables Inc broad and and laptop to mn on

Unless of course it's a socialist laptop,distributed by govt.apparently

bigmouthstrikesagain · 08/02/2012 22:15

DH covers cost of living and I look after young dc, alternatively I could also be a 'wage slave' and engage someone else to look after the children either way there is 'labour' being done by both parents. I don't have a particularly ambitious career plan but I do keep myself engaged with the wider world and local community through politics and volunteering. I am being supported in this by my dh, it is a two way street.

My point was your definition of Capitalism was inaccurate.

snapsnap · 08/02/2012 22:27

I dont think this is about economics, its cultural.
I think there is a big difference between being a modern SAHM and being a Betty Draper style housewife.
For most of my SAHM friends, its a family choice and their role is respected within and outside the family. Those who like Kirstie Allsop who go on about womens roles, being wife, acting submissive, are embodying something entirely different, a kind of surrendered wife ideal.
As per my previous post, anyone I know who went down this, rather than the fairer, less pleasing road, has encountered a lot of trouble

noddyholder · 08/02/2012 22:28

Dunno but I love an apron

Bonsoir · 09/02/2012 10:38

The crux of the matter is - why work if it is going to make your family worse off if you do so? I don't think that posters like SM have much grasp of the economics of higher earners...

snapsnap · 09/02/2012 12:29

I dont think it is all about economics though Bonsior Staying at home is also (in the case of higher earners) an emotional decision.

I dont agree with scottishmummys premise which seems to be that if you dont work for a salary you add no value to society. That is not the case, bringing up a family is adding immense value and those SAHM's with means who can and do volunteer are certainly of great value.

The thread is more about why women idealise a 1950's style housewife.
As far as leaving themselves financially exposed, well I would say that no woman expects to be left/her partner or husband to lose their job or die however this happens relatively regularly.

Bonsoir · 09/02/2012 17:26

It's an economic decision if the value of work is less than the value of staying at home. I agree, however, that the units with which you measure the value of work are not necessarily the same as the units with which you value staying at home!

wordfactory · 09/02/2012 18:38

Bonsoir I think sometimes though the family may be worse off if you work in the short term, the long term effects of working or not working may outweigh them.

It is a delicate decision to make at times.

munkysea · 09/02/2012 18:42

Jenny is very very correct. It's women saying, "YOU KNOW WHAT? STUFF THE LOT OF YOU I GIVE UP." I dread having to try to balance a career and children.

scottishmummy · 09/02/2012 19:36

there's nothing to dread about being a working parent at all
plan adequately, look for childcare whilst pg, plan your mat leave and career look into flexible working or changed pattern with plenty of time to plan and prepare a change

to whom is YOU KNOW WHAT? STUFF THE LOT OF YOU I GIVE UP addressed?
employer?
peer?
acquaintances?

give up is a bit of a wet response

NorthernWreck · 11/02/2012 17:47

I don't have any fantasy at all about being a 50's housewife.
I grew up fantasising about being Christine Cagney: The flicked hair, the fur coat,the wisecracks, the gun.
I think the current invasion of chintzy china, sparkly cupcakes and handmade stuff is more of an aesthetic one for most women.
They like the idea of the retro kitchen, and the cute crockery, rather than actually wanting to be in the actual role of dutiful wife mixing hubby's cocktail at 5.15 pm. I hope.

Bonsoir · 12/02/2012 10:41

I definitely know über high-flying career women who have given it all up for domesticity and invest their all in a KitchenAid, Dualit, Cath Kidstonesque fantasy for a while. Why not? 15 years slaving over a hot keyboard is very wearing.

scottishmummy · 12/02/2012 10:45

clearly chosen wrong job if slaving...
a career is more autonomous and self directed

NorthernWreck · 12/02/2012 10:46

I don't know. I do a lot of slaving.
Still rather that than ironing and "how was your day at the office dear?"

scottishmummy · 12/02/2012 10:53

i work hard but ive never slaved

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