I was sent this study about the factors that help marriages stay strong when kids come along - a good summary of the study here. I thought it was mostly no brainer kind of stuff but it's always interesting when academic research confirms it after controlling for factors like socio-economic background, age, education, ethnicity etc.
The most interesting finding in my opinion is on p.38 about generosity. It states that the 1960s and 70s saw a rejection of what was at the time an expectation that all the generosity in a marriage should be proffered by women alone, and that second wave feminism advocated a more individual attitude within marriage as a reaction to these sexist expectations on women. However it goes on to say that this more individual attitude caused marriages to become more susceptible to divorce.
This study finds that in fact marriages are happier and more likely to stay together not if women throw off 1950s expectations of wifedom, but if men adopt the same expectations - so both spouses make a regular, overt effort to "serve" the other (the study gives the examples of a spirit of service, frequent displays of affection, a willingness to forgive the faults and failings of one?s spouse, shared housework, and little things like making a cup of coffee, giving a back rub...)
I'm in two minds about the "blaming" of second wave feminism here. On one hand I really worry it sort of blames the victims somehow and gives feminist bashers a stick to beat women with ("this study says feminism causes divorce, so women should go back to the kitchen sink"). I also instinctively don't like the fact that it seems to be saying that I as a woman should be behaving like a 1950s housewife...(maybe I am reading more into this than I should).
On the other hand it is saying that that to strengthen marriages, both spouses regardless of gender should adopt the behaviours that were previously expected only from women in traditional gendered marriage roles.
Anyway I'm in a muddle in my own head about it - like the fact that in the strongest marriages, equal expectations should made of both partners but really don't like the bashing of second wave feminism to get to that conclusion (and don't know enough to know whether this is legitimate bashing or not).