Excellent post Quodlibet. I understand that hearing other people praise your appearance can be something of a confidence-booster for both women and men. But, how can it be in any way fair that having the "right" appearance (which at the moment means thin, large bust, dressed to accentuate your shape and posing/behaving in a seductive manner,) is peddled as the most important if not only route for women to be confident, to be empowered?
This idea isn't new of course. We've had foot binding, corsets that cause permanent organ damage, extreme dieting, cosmetic surgery and less invasive but still time consuming, uncomfortable and often expensive trends for reshaping the body including shaving, waxing, girdles, hair perming, colouring and straightening and bucketfulls of cosmetics, not to mention all those vaginal deodorisers they aggressively market in America. The message seems to be the "normal" female form is defective - has to be "fixed" and the goal posts of the ideal form continuously shift. Women who don't cut it are "letting themselves go," but even if they do and are of a certain age, they are pilloried as "mutton dressed as lamb."
It's a no win situation, but I worry that young women now are pushed onto that beauty and sexualisation treadmill at ever younger ages, bombarded with constant messages that they have to do more, try harder, spend more (money and time) or you will be worthless as a human being.
And, while you are spending all your time and money "preening," you haven't got as much time for doing things with your brains and with your hands - creating stuff that isn't dependent on someone else's assessment of your value due to your appearance.
Ah, and the other sting in the tail is if you don't find happiness and fulfillment from all this, don't gain that ultimate confidence, aren't an unqualified success in life, then it's probably because you didn't try hard enough. Oh, and because it was a CHOICE that you made freely, you don't have any right to complain.
Urgh.