Starting to wish we had old fashioned me (mum) stay at home, he (dad) go out to work set up :(

[joric]

that's it really and I never thought I'd say it but both me and DH work full time- love my job- I probably do 60/40 childcare stuff he does shopping, some washing, I clean and sort out bills etc....we ate both a bit knackered and things get half done. I am starting to think my grandparents lifestyle was a better arrangement- him to work her at home doing everything to do with the home whilst he is at work and children are at school. They had a very organised lifestyle and evenings were relaxed and free. They would eat together, see family etc as all the chores had been done in the day and his work was done for
the day.
Thoughts please :)

I have been feeling a bit sad recently that my kids will never enjoy their school holidays in the way that my sister and I did, staying at home for weeks and weeks, instead they will be packed off to grandparents, holiday clubs etc. That will be the norm for them I guess, and they won't miss what they have never had, but it still makes me sad.

As does the thought of sending them to after school care rather than being picked up by mummy.

My mum was a SAHM when we were younger, then worked for herself and studied in school hours and had a career by the time we were at secondary, but it was flexible enough to do around school times.

I however would not want to be a SAHM. I was desperate to get back to work after mat leave. I just want a bit more of a balance. I'm going to ask for compressed hours next week, as part time is not really an option.

Is being valued amongst your peer group the same as making a worthwhile contribution to society?

Is being a SAHM indefinitely, doing your absolute best for your family, a worthwhile contribution to society?

Is making a worthwhile contribution to society essential for status and/or wellbeing?

Like you Poncey, I have been a SAHM for 10 years. During this time I have done various career related bits and pieces both on a voluntary and paid basis. Now that my youngest is about to start school I am finding it increasingly difficult to make up my mind about what to do next.

OP, we have a lot of what you envy, family meals together etc but I always like to have a project on the go which means that chores are at the bottom of my list and things are pretty much always in a state of disarray. I long for a bit more 'structure' to my day but seem incapable of self-imposing it. I think I might be suffering from SAHM burnout .

Poncey, what did you do after your 10 years as a SAHM?

Oh I think we should expect something in return.
Not perhaps from your children (aprt and parcel of being young is being blissfully unaware of how much others love oyu and care for you) but from one's spouse, yes.

Appreciation of a nice home, a good meal, a chillded glass of wine together in the kitchen at the end of the day, clean toilets, ironed clothes. I would be angry and short changed if me husband did not express his appreciation for thsoe things or for what I do for our children.