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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

"You need a man to..."

57 replies

DontCallMePeanut · 27/06/2011 21:05

Well, according to my darling mother, I "need a man" to put up a new rail for a new net curtain I'm putting up in my living room... Ahem. I have the choice of, for now, asking my brother in law or one of my exes to do so... Apparently. I told her all I need to do is borrow, or maybe even buy a drill, and she responded with "but it's not the done thing for a woman"

Just wondering what corkers you've heard recently?

OP posts:

AnnieLobeseder · 27/06/2011 22:31

Flying back from hols on Saturday I was chatting to the couple next to me, and the man commented that we had a woman pilot, "but that's OK because planes fly themselves these days anyway."

EttiKetti · 27/06/2011 22:32

This makes me cringe, esp things like putting garden items or furniture together. Ugh. It's 2011 I'm often heard to cry!!

Original poster

DontCallMePeanut · 27/06/2011 22:36

Annie, I would have commented on getting back to my car at the airport that drove itself

Etti, I may adopt that as my warcry arguement next time she starts

OP posts:

DumSpiroSpero · 27/06/2011 22:37

Well, Peanut - you may have a point there...but he's also very good with the laundry and ironing

I'm lucky - although my parents are in their seventies they have always been quite role reversed - dad worked shifts so was involved with childcare and mum did the DIY and car maintenance so I don't have to content with any 'old-fashioned' comments.

I do most of our DIY - although I leave the car and garden to DH - purely because both things bore me shitless!

AnnieLobeseder · 27/06/2011 22:39

DontCallMePeanut - I chickened out and just made a face for him. I did have to sit next to him for another 4 hours after all.

But it was one of the smoothest landings I've experienced in ages. And she managed to park the plane just fine too!

TimeWasting · 27/06/2011 22:42

First house after I moved out of home had no curtain rail in the bedroom and I had no money, so I nailed some muslin up. The bedroom wall were painted with a collection of left-over shades of cream and magnolia.
I'm very good at shabby chic.
I'm appalling at DIY, but still better than DH, who couldn't give a toss. We live round the corner from his Dad now, so I doubt we'll ever improve.

memphis83 · 27/06/2011 22:44

I do all the DIY in our house, DH wouldnt know what the toolbox was if he found it! Hes very handy with an iron though!!!

ToscanaBambina · 27/06/2011 22:47

I know someone who dated a very well known feminist GGfor a number of years. She used to regularly call him to get his ass over to her place as she needed help doing stuff....oh, like changing a plug.

Seriously.

TeiTetua · 27/06/2011 23:01

That one about the boyfriend of the well-known feminist links up with "Silly question maybe - can a man be a feminist?" Obviously not, his role is to do the stuff that is beneath a feminist's dignity (never a thing she wouldn't be competent to do, we deny that absolutely).

MrsChemist · 27/06/2011 23:07

My mum seems shocked when I tell her I've done some painting. Wielding a paintbrush at a wall is Man's Work.

celadon · 27/06/2011 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnieLobeseder · 27/06/2011 23:30

Perhaps a man with a remote control helps keep it in the air. Or they fly themselves because clever men designed them that way. Or they need a pilot to stop the poor hysterical women from shrieking about who's flying the plane....

Laquitar · 27/06/2011 23:41

When we were looking into buying house dh was very busy and i was doing some viewings myself. I phoned my mum to tell her about the houses i've seen and while i was talking about room sizes etc she just said 'Oh i don't know, is this the normal nowdays?'

quiddity · 27/06/2011 23:45

Went to the doctor a few years ago with stress shortly after breaking up with XP. The next time I went back she said, "Are you looking for a new husband? You need one, you know, you can't cope on your own."

Never found the new husband but I did find a new doctor.

blackcurrants · 27/06/2011 23:57

DH is better than me at sewing on a button.
We were at my parents' house and I was trying to get them dinner before they went out to a swanky do. My Dad realized the button on his black tie trousers needed sewing on. He dumped it on my knee and said "do me a favour, would you?" before running off to shave (not so much rudely as late!) - and after watching me laboriously thread the needle, my H took it off my hands with "you finish watering the greenhouse. You need a man to get this button right."
we sniggered. Even more so when my Dad came downstairs in his shirt and boxers to find me in the garden and H calmly snipping the last thread off the trousers, and handing it over with a grin!

I often say "ooh, this nappy smells like it needs a big manly man to change it." - it's not worked so far. We have a 'who touched him last' rule about bad nappies!

BertieBotts · 28/06/2011 00:05

Was just speaking to my mum on the phone about lovely week I'd had with DP - just normal stuff, and she said "It's lovely, isn't it, how he talks to you and he thinks about things and you do things together that you both enjoy."

And yes, it is lovely, but it was this tone in her voice which made it sound like she thought this was really rare, for a man to treat you like a real human being :(

(Sorry I know that wasn't quite related, it just made me feel quite sad.)

She's pretty good with the tool kit stuff though, she brought me and my sister up alone for years and the only time she involved a man was to chase the postman down the street one morning to ask him to open the marmalade She has a tool to open jars now.

blackcurrants · 28/06/2011 00:46

oh that is sad, Bertie.

My mum is both (1) delighted that my DH does his fair share in the house and (2) horrified at the amount of housework my sister-in-law expects my brother to do.

And doesn't see the contradiction or problem there. Because of course, DH helping me is a sign of how lovely he is to aid me in MY duties. Whereas my lovely SIL and my equally lovely Brother sharing housework in the same way is a sign that DB is put upon ("he works all day" - yes, and SIL has 3 kids under 5 at home!) and SIL is not pulling her weight.

I despair sometimes.

Thistledew · 28/06/2011 01:05

I find it hugely annoying when I do actually need a man to do something, for pure physical strength alone.

I used to have a very old, basic car. It had a manual cap on the air intake to the carburettor that you had to switch to cool air or warm air from the engine dependant on the season. If you had it fixed to cool air intake in the winter it would suffer from carburettor icing.

After a service the cap had been put back the wrong way. I knew that I needed to change it, I knew how to change it, but for the life of me could I shift the nuts holding it? No. I had to get a man. Oh the indignity!

Himalaya · 28/06/2011 05:02

Don't buy a pink drill! From what I have seen they are a bit rubbish and gimmicky.

Buy a black drill and accessorise it

buzzsore · 28/06/2011 12:06

Glitter!

slug · 28/06/2011 13:01

It's generally acknowledged in our household that I'm the stronger, more practical one. The only thing I need DH for is impregnation.

I keep him around because the child likes sitting on him and he makes me laugh.

aliceliddell · 28/06/2011 13:10

Is it dirty, dangerous or difficult? Then it's a man's job. Unless (fill in as required)

nickelbabe · 28/06/2011 13:14

i've thought about it, and the only thing "you need a man" for is to make sperm.

Everything else you've mentioned, I can do myself.
(apart from things I can't be arsed to do)

WowOoo · 28/06/2011 14:00

Shifting furniture. Nobody said this to me. I asked dh for help.
Yes Thistledew, for pure physical strength i need a man.

Think it depends who's better at doing stuff. Dh does most DIY, but with my assistance/opinion/general looking over shoulder stuff.
I'm better at wallpapering,plastering and painting.

TrilllianAstra · 28/06/2011 14:03

Nah, for pure physical strength you just need a greater number of women. Or bigger women. Or for women to take up strength training.

You only neeed a man for sperm.

Just sometimes it is nice to have one around :)

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