A lot of things annoyed me yesterday. Here is my list.

[EllieG]

1. DD got given a barbie for her birthday. It was a doctor (as a nod to me as I often rail against them). She was a paediatrician with lolipops in her pocket, pink high heels and a sparkly white coat. DD complained that she doesn't stand up because her feet are too small.

1. Went out for tea with female friends. Got mocked for about 15 mins as I said 'oh, I joined this thing called UK feminista today'. Best mate told me in so many words that I was boring and worthy and blah blah for my 'new obsession' about feminism and that it was just my latest cause and it was stupid. She asked how I personally felt oppressed - I said I didn't much but other women do and that is why I am a feminist. She asked me to state how and I said well um, how about the tiny percentage for conviction for rape cases, I was laughed at for being boring (in so many words)

1. Best mate went on to say that she thinks about '70 per cent of women are stupid and boring' and that she thinks she gets on better with men.

1. Friends moved on to talk about other friend's job as zoo keeper and managed to have long and serious discussion about issues to do with dogs. Dogs, ffs.

1. Now I was laughing throughout this, I know I was being ribbed and my friends are all very empowered and strong women who laugh at many taboo subjects and are actually very feminist, but I am getting slightly pissed off about having to pretend I don't care. I need some feminists where I live......

tougholdbird - when I left my last job I got told by a (male) colleague that basically I should remember to shut up a bit more in my new role. Luckily, new work are super-lovely and like my particular brand of bossiness assertiveness, so I am unafraid of speaking out. Not that I was anyway

DD got invited to a princesses and pirate party, and we did cave to a pink princess costume, but not a disney one as they are too long and she wouldn't have been able to play, and they look stupid. DD told me she wanted to be a 'furry princess with wings and a wand and sparkles', so we went for it, but I wish I'd thought of a pirate princess, that would've been cool.

today - the feminist threads in other sections of MN that all turn into "don't you have more important things to worry about, there are people starving in the world!!" or "oh lighten up, can't you take a joke?"

Not sure if it's more annoying or sad, both probably.

I hate being told to lighten up. I am naturally extremely facetious about pretty much everything, so I reserve the right to be serious at times about things that matter to me, and not be belittled for it. It annoys me that caring about things is somehow not cool.

I think I might move to Bristol too JessinAvalon

You're not a saint? But feminists are supposed to be saints, see, you're just as bad as men.... etc.

The lighten up thing makes me laugh (so I suppose in a way it works) at the same time as it pisses me off. It's just such a silly thing to say, I end up laughing at the person who's saying it. What's so brilliant is that people say it about anything - girls being sexually harrassed at school? Lighten up! Women being paid less than men for the same job? C'mon, take a joke! Honour killings in Pakistan? Jeez Louise, can't you just shutup and enjoy the sunshine?

and isn't it interesting that while MN is full of really important threads like "what do you think about this dress?" and "I don't like my MIL", it's still only the feminist ones that get the good old "Tsk, don't you have anything more important to worry about?"

What is it with the pink thing? Is it all the Psychedelic Furs' fault? When the film Pretty In Pink came out, the colour was seen as vaguely subversive.....
I quite LIKE pink (although prefer various shades of purple - as DD's wardrobe will attest) but it's become so bloody all-pervading "girly-girl". Pah.

Hey, let's ALL move to Bristol - we can make it into a Fabulous Feminist republic!

I got told to lighten up by DH last night when I had a mini-rant (really, only a tiny one) about David Cameron's comment yesterday. DH won't tell me to lighten up again soon. Not sure he quite knows what to make of his newly empowered wife

So Bristol has more going for it than just the architecture.

Celadon my dh preferred my rants about politics and recycling to discussing feminism. Yesterday I was told that feminists have devalued mens labour so that no man can earn enough to keep a family. I believe he thinks keeping a family is no different to keeping a dog. It requires food and shelter and not too much conversation.

Thought I'd shamelessly steal from this blog which neatly summarises all the things that have annoyed me lately.

Oh a rant thread, excellent!

Things top of my List this week;

1. Being asked however I would cope with 2 pre-teen boys and a newborn and a DP to look after. I won't. We will cope, as a unit, equally because we are a family.

2. Being told by DP's best mate that when DS3 is born, him and DP can 'babysit' the kids (best mate has a 4 month old) so me and his DP can go out. I could just about let it go if he meant my DP watching my 2 DS's, as they aren't his kids. Sure it is annoying that he sees DP as doing me some great favour that he doesn't need to, but I could almost forgive it. But to say that him and DP taking care of their own children for the nigh is babysitting? My piss boiled so fast I thought I might take off with the steam I must have been emitting! Fortunately (for the best mate) DP jumped in quick and pointed out you can't babysit your own kids, or the kids you live with because you are an equal parent.

3. Having DP automatically excluded from the conversation about who would drop the carpool kids off at Scout camp tomorrow, because he is a man and it is the Mum's job to do the running around after the kids. OK I was quite pleased that I didn't have to think up an excuse to get him out of it, but that was because it is miles away and he doesn't live near here so doesn't know the roads and his car is a stupid showy offy executive thing, so not designed for ferrying 4 kids + camping equipment in, but the reason that he was excluded from the list of potential takers really pissed me off.

On the subject of pink being 'for girls', that is a pretty recent thing and IIRC from my (long distant) history lessons, red used to be a boy's colour because it was considered lucky and males were more valuable eyeroll so had red clothing to protect them. Without modern marvels like Colour Catcher, the red used to run and fade so many clothes would end up as washed out red, aka pink, so pink was almost exclusively used for boys. I'm not sure when the current shift to it being a girls colour started. It would be quite ironic if it was switched so that girls were considered equals or just as important as boys.

Curses, can't edit.

4. Listing male names first. DS2 and a girl in his class did a joint entry to a class project, writing a report on a visit by a raptor centre. They won and got their article published in the Parish News. They worked on it together, but she typed it (his typing speed is atrocious) yet the names are listed as his then hers. Both her first and last initial are before his in the alphabet so it isn't that it was done in alphabetical order (which would make perfect sense to me) and he says that when they handed it in, they each had to write their names on it and as the girl typed it, she got to it first so her name was at the top. That means someone has deliberately changed it to list his first!

Of course I am proud as punch that they won and have laminated the article (what? He may be a reporter one day, this could be his first piece of work in print. You'll not be mocking when it is worth a fortune and he has a Pulitzer ) so I don't really want to make a big deal of it to him and piss on his parade, but it has spoiled it a bit for me.

Thanks for the little bit of gendered colour history, PP, very interesting.

I had to LOL at the image of your piss boiling....not surprised why, though...

Yes, I had an image of your DP having to jump in to stop it going everywhere...

The 'babysitting' thing gets me goat too. It's not babysitting it's co-parenting, idiots.

Well done your DS though PiousPrat! What a star

Oo meant to say - went out with friend who laughed muchly at me last week this evening for a cuppa. She was moaning about some people she knew who she said are disrespectful and rude and don't allow others to have different opinions and how she felt it was bad of them to laugh at her about something she held dearly. I said 'um, like maybe something like my interest in feminism?'. She did have to concede the point and said, it's a fair cop, I will try not to be an arse in future. So that's good.

I have no rants today (most unlike me). PiousPrat, I will take yours though, because they sounded very irritating.

God! I think some of you are actually crazy! Why should being nice to a man working physically be such an expression of weakness? Do you really think feminism is about being completely unsupportive as a human being!- I think its amazing that it is still seen as feminst to resist things that women do like like nice dresses and prettiness - I don't see that as at all incompatible with intellectual sharpness or grit or ability - I think it would be areal shame if the strides we have made that allow fully made up women to alsop be throught of as serious - it used to be you had to thatcher-up or clarie short/ ann widdecomb-up to be seen as serious, now you can be pretty without being thought of as a daft tart by men, but it seems some feminists want to insist that pretty = daft tart and that's awful.

As regards the 'aggressive' tag, I work in a very female HR department, and I have to listen to collegues who call every passionate man aggressive and abusive even for just disagreeing with them - some have even raised formal complaints when they have been rightly pulled up for cocking up, and we have had to go through a stupid dance investigating a male employee for being abusive and sexually discriminating when he has said nothing stronger than 'you really have to get on top of this' to a female member of staff who has lost important documents, so its not all one way at all.

as for girls, I think they have more freedom than boys as children - tomboy is quite a positive thing to be in comparison to sissy.

lol at the 'big man' comment- but then I do get huffy if I walk over to my DH and pals and there is no response unless I actively interrupt..:)

I think he saw the nostrils flaring which he knows is a sign that I am about to Start A Tirade so thoughtfully threw himself on the grenade and diffused it

I would go a step further and say it isn't co-parenting, it is just parenting. Parent isn't a gender specific word, it just applies to someone who has the responsibility of raising a child. It is our patriarchal society that dictates that 'parent' equates to 'mother' and for the father to be doing it, it needs a special name to give prominence to just how 'well trained' he is, rather like 'male nurse' or 'male nanny'. Men should reclaim the word parent to apply equally to them. Or something.

Please rearrange the above paragraph until it makes coherent sense.

Haha EllieG Good that your friend admitted she was being a bit of a knob. Now to stealthily convert her and bring her to the dark side of feminism ¬_¬

just a thought for all you "opressed" people. is there a television programme around in the morning some time where women can abuse men oh! yes I think there is ! well if you want fucking equality we should be allowed to abuse you on a daily abasis as well....oh no we are not allowed to do that are we' even the PM gets pulled up for a casual remark ...oh my god he said calm down dear so what? you silly silly peolple... we should have our own programme with men sitting around talking about our wives and how stupid they are like you do ...oh I forgot thats not allowed in your new nazi state

I thought I heard a funny noise for a moment, but I think I was imagining things. Silly me.