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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

I just want to put this here because I think I might not get told STFU.

50 replies

thefirstMrsDeVere · 22/04/2011 13:24

A small thing but its really niggling me.

I went to ELC yesterday to by the boys some HappyLand stuff.

Its great for them all to play with. I work in 'play' and really rate the stuff. Bright, not all pink or blue. Great for role play, imaginative play etc (I cant help it, I look at all toys from a professional angle nowdays Grin )

Anyway. Got this stuff home. I had bought a 'Rose Cottage'. On the side of the box there is a picture of the family members.

Mr xxx is a geography teacher...
Mrs xxxx keeps rose cottage clean and tidy Shock
Little boy plays outside
Little girl stays indoors and plays with her toys

This is not exact. I threw the packaging away. It is definately the tone though and the Mrs xxx is pretty much word for word.

WTF is going on with ELC? I have had 5 children over nearly 20 years. When DD was born ELC was the place to get primary coloured toys, irons and broom sets that were 'boy friendly', multi cultural dolls etc etc.

Now it sells 'boys toys' and 'girls toys' and puts crap like that on the side of its boxes.

I think it is dreadful. I remember questioning the labelling of boys and girls toys aisles on a forum a couple of years ago and the general consensus was 'stop getting your knickers in a twist' and various other twattery.

It IS wrong though, isnt it?

OP posts:
juuule · 22/04/2011 18:23

aliceliddel "If boys never play with dolls, it's not surprising they don't know what to do with babies"

lol. I played with dolls, didn't have a clue what to do with my first baby. And if what I've observed with children playing with dolls is an indicator of how they will look after their babies (carried around by one leg?), ss are going to be busy in the future.Wink

Trebuchet "I feel like all the toys for girls are homemaking type ones"

How do you know which toys are for girls? Do you think that only the pink ones are for girls? Do you think that if a playbox of spanners (for example) are not for girls if they are not pink? Just curious as to what marks out a girl's toy to you.

ComeAlongPond · 22/04/2011 18:29

ELC annoys me. I only have nieces, not my own children, but I took one of them in there to buy her a present and the shop assistant TOOK the last pirate costume off her and said, "Oopsy, I think you've picked this up by mistake, this little boy wants a pirate suit and it's the last one left so we'd better give it to him. The little girls section is over there, why don't you pick out a lovely princess dress?" I mean, wtf?? Fortunately, the other mother gave it back to DN because she had it first, but wow.

BertieBotts · 22/04/2011 18:37

DS has some Happyland with a female construction worker. Of course that's one opposite-gender-to-stereotype out of about 20 characters he has Confused (The emergency people set has male and female doctors and police officers though, and a firefighter completely obscured by his/her helmet)

I also feel a bit uneasy about this set.

I prefer buying it on ebay as well - I prefer the older Happy Street sets with the road and the little bases for the shops etc to sit on. It's all compatible so works well if people buy the new stuff for birthdays etc :)

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 22/04/2011 18:38

Fair enough TFMDV - you gotta do, what you gotta do [busmile].

I just think that so much of what appears in 'feminism/women's rights' is making women feel like they are 'letting the side down' if they want to be homemakers, if they are happy being SAHM's cleaning the house, baking, looking after the children - it's like it's an inferior choice and not just A choice and it makes me sad to think that the role of 'homemaker' is so belittled.

As I said, no personal axe to grind as I'm a long way off of Little Miss Homemaker [bugrin]

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 22/04/2011 18:42

ComeAlongPond - now that, that would piss me right off and I'd be so high on my high horse I'd need a ladder to get down!!

Bertie - I love the old camping set and the BBQ set and the....

I like the international set as well. I don't think there is anything wrong with costumes of national dress. Once again I had dolls from all over the world as a child, in their national dress - I didn't think, not even for a minute, that everyone in those countries wore them all the time or they were the only people to live in those countries - what is the problem?

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 22/04/2011 18:42
BertieBotts · 22/04/2011 18:58

I nearly bought the beach set for DS the other day! He already calls the police station the chip shop, so a real one would be great!

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 22/04/2011 19:00

Nearly? Nearly? How can you 'nearly' buy the beach set? If you don't have it - it;s a must (just make sure the seagull isn't missing!) [bugrin]

MotherSnacker · 22/04/2011 19:15

YANBU. I hate Barbie and Bratz. My daughter has loads bought by various family members. I have lost.I haven't the heart to take them away. There seems to have been an explosion of pink princessyness lately. Yuk.

everyspring · 22/04/2011 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Unrulysun · 22/04/2011 20:12

I can't believe anyone thinks these are OK [bushock]

I've always told girls at school to get new shoes if they had a little heel on and I work in 11-18 (although I might let the sixth form off :) )

totally inappropriate for running/climbing/being a child.

BertieBotts · 22/04/2011 20:12

It was on ebay. Finished now. It was a bit overpriced with postage - almost the same as new prices. Maybe would have been worth it for a discontinued set though.

newfashionedmum · 22/04/2011 20:26

I haven't read the whole thread thoroughly but as visitor said, ELC seem to have gone downhill since mothercare took over.
I wrote to them around the time of the pinkstinks ELC campaign about their horrendous dressing up pages on the website. I got one lazy off the peg response which didn't really address my question (was clearly from the 'standard response to ranting feminist' tray) and when i further clarified and pushed my point never heard back from them. I have noticed things have since improved on that front though.

For the question about pink/blue - the issue is that children currently are taught to identify pink/blue as female/male colours -whether you try to avoid it or not they don't live in a bubble - so they begin to identify pink stuff as 'for girls' and blue as 'for boys'. Until this has disappeared again manufacturers should be more colour neutral - green, yellow, red.

I agree that girls should see homemaking as a valid choice (and probably boys too but that's a seperate debate i haven't even made my own mind up on) but its about redressing the balance - they see those role models everywhere but not nearly enough doctors, engineers, captains of industry, artists, musicians... I could go on. I don't think the gender split should necessarily be 50:50 in each profession but the fact is that currently both girls and boys are still limited in part by convention and society's expectations rather than their own passions and talents.

AliceWorld · 22/04/2011 20:29

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs If you think that the feminism section denigrates the role of a SAHM then it might be worth reading this thread. Feminists don't think it is letting the side down at all, quite the contrary.

Himalaya · 22/04/2011 22:25

I hate all this boys toys/girls toys shit, particularly the way you get 'science kits' and 'girls science kits' - making soap and what not [grr] (not ELC - in Argos etc..)

The thing with ELC though is they were all primary coloured and wooden and gender neutral way back when, and they must have figured out that pink and blue and stark gender signals sell better. I would have loved them to continue to take the high road, but to some extent they must have been responding to consumer demands (and then of course reinforcing them).

I have seen parents in there say quite irately 'put that down, that's a GIRLS toy!'. Some people are hugely are hugely uncomfortable with any challenge to traditional gender roles with their children, and others (grandparents etc..) just want to play it safe with presents, and I guess ELC found that out through their market research.

LadyCornyOfSilk · 22/04/2011 22:27

ELC used to be great but went very much downhill. Shame.

Original poster
thefirstMrsDeVere · 22/04/2011 22:54

You should have heard the comments I got when I chose a stroller for my DC5.

Its v.pretty (I really do like pink a lot), pink with little shabby chic roses on it.

Apparently I couldnt put DC5 in it because he was a boy. Like a newborn bloody cares!

It was all round where I live that I was buying a pink buggy for my baby to be. Hilarious Grin

OP posts:
LadyCornyOfSilk · 23/04/2011 00:26

how funny! they don't care at all so we might as well get what we like.

onEastarEggIGraze · 23/04/2011 09:13

MrsDeVere, not only do I totally agree with you here but I just had to say that this thread instantly made me think of something you said about Billie - "Write them one of your letters, mum!" It really made me chuckle :)

noodle69 · 23/04/2011 09:20

If they sell 'boys' stuff and 'girls' stuff it means that if you have children of different genders you will buy it again as opposed to passing it down, which in turn makes ELC a lot more money. Thats why they do boys and girls stuff. If you dont see it as boys or girls stuff though then you wont do this so it saves you money.

Unrulysun · 23/04/2011 21:25

I put my girls' shoes post in the 'ELC are a bunch of bastards' thread. Imagine my embarrassment Blush

Original poster
thefirstMrsDeVere · 23/04/2011 21:40

HAHA @ unruly.

I didnt like to say...

It almost fits Grin

oneastar thank you for that. thanks for remembering. A lot Smile

OP posts:
mythreadywed · 23/04/2011 21:42

YANBU Grin
I got VERY ticked off with ELC and their need to make everything in PINK OR BLUE .... WHY? To increase sales.
You buy one for your boy and then you need to buy another for your daughter Hmm

Himalaya · 23/04/2011 23:04

Noodle and Mythreadwed - yes I agree this is why ELC and so many stores have gone for pink and blue ranges and girl/boy styling on things that used to be unisex - trikes, jeans, paddling pools ffs! Parents 'have' to buy two lots.

But at the same time there must have been a cross over time when they found that blue and pink stock just sold better than yellow, neutral or whatever. Retailers are pretty good at working out what sells. If more parents really did want neutral stuff someone would have worked our how to make a business out of it. So there is a customer preference side as well as the marketing.

juuule · 24/04/2011 09:13

Parents don't have to buy 2 lots. But it seems that a lot of parents prefer to buy pink or blue.

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