Abuse and smear tests

[me2oo]

I'm posting this here as I don't want a questioning of the validity of abuse and subsequent reaction response, so value a feminist perspective.

I suffered sexual abuse in my teen years. As a result, I really really struggle with going for a smear test. The letter sends me into floods of tears, as do all the reminders, and the thought of going makes me physically recoil. So I avoid them, and I know it's not good.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? Is there anything you can suggest?

Earwicga I am very sorry for what you have been through.

You will be aware that the types of HPV which cause genital warts are not the same as the ones which cause cancer.

The majority of women who have ever been sexually active will have been exposed to high risk types of HPV (IIRC, something like 80% of us).

Everyone of us has to take responsibility for our own choices. Do you disagree with anything that particular journalist wrote? Or do you just think that the truth should be hidden from us silly women?

gracie took over 50 minutes?wow,that is wrong,mine took less than 5minutes,i was scared to go due to traumatic birth but my doc was nice and did it and it never hurt at all,he told me we were done when i thought we were just beggining..how horrible for you

OP just take your time,do not rush it,go when you are ready,and when you get in there,relax,,

Thanks for all the input and support everyone. Food for thought. I'm also pleased I'm not alone as maybe the nurse will understand when I am coming from. I worry in case she would make me report to the police (which I know is silly as the authorities are hardly clambering to follow accusations of abuse) or make me go into detail and then tell me I am wrong (again I know really this is als unlikely). The info from CRASAC will be useful. I wish there were feminist smear centres where you know they will understand you.

Also interesting that they have been doing research. My last letter, now a while ago as I think they gave up, told me that if I didn't attend I would have to come in and sign a disclaimer. Knowing that the state do not have control over my body, therefore there is no obligation to sign any such thing, I ignored them. But I haven't been to the doctors since, so now don't have any contraceptive pills as I ran out and didn't want to go to be told off. And that is an awful thing to suggest to someone, rather than saying if you have a problem with this we're all ears and will help you.

I will report back what happens when I have the conversation so it might be of benefit to others.

For those with money, I remember hearing about this option but I don't know anythign about it and don't know think the NHS do it, which makes me think maybe they aren't as good.

www.drthom.com/womens_health/hpv/hpv_test

Unwind -

'You will be aware that the types of HPV which cause genital warts are not the same as the ones which cause cancer. '

That's not true. There are low risk and high risk types of HPV. Additionally, if my rapists passed on one type of HPV they may have also passed on other types. And as I did have pre-cancerous cells removed it is a bloody good job I have always had regular smear tests. Even though the neck of my cervix is irregular and it is difficult to extract sufficient cells to test, meaning some years I have had to go back 3 times to get an adequate screen.

I don't wish to communicate with you anymore as am finding you a little too agressive.

I hope everybody on here can find the help they require to be able to make the a decision which is right for you.

tooblessed took that long because I was freaking out and kept jumping away from him every time he went near me!
I'm sure the actual procedure doesn't take that long if you can stay still. I was shaking so violently he couldn't get what he needed done, done IYSWIM.
In the end they called in some extra nurses to help hold me legs/abdomen still long enough to get it finished.
I did consent to all this by the way. No one pinned me down against my wishes, but I was physically incapable of staying still.
I don't think the poor doctor found it very easy, and they probably don't usually end up with so many nurses being needed! Probably why a GA was recommended for next time!

"For those with money, I remember hearing about this option but I don't know anythign about it and don't know think the NHS do it, which makes me think maybe they aren't as good."

You could probably email them for more info on that option. The NHS might have opted not to do it for reasons of cost.

It is a HPV test, which is not quite the same as a pap smear.

I know things have improved but ive come across some really really bad clinics so id advise visiting a few differant ones and finding somewhere you like .

I havent had a smear for 20 years , i went to the local fpc and was shown into a room where there was four people , and there was a bed in the middle of the room , a little like a dentists chair. There was also nowhere to get changed.

It had took me all my courage to actually go , i felt shaky and tearfull , but managed to ask why there was 4 people present . I was told that there policy was to assist students and that two of them was students.

I said i had changed my mind , to which the docter told me not to be silly and to just remove my trousers and get on with it. I went out and spoke to the receptionist who made some noises about the things us women have to go through. Pretty grim really.

I then went somewhere differant and spoke to the nurse and told her how upsetting i found them. She was loveley and i made an apointment to go back . I was so upset i sat in an empty office until they were ready to see me , i just cried and cried , i felt like running away .

As it was being done i ended up sobbing , the nurse was still loveley and chatted to me all the time . Afterwards she made me a brew and sat and chatted a bit . I didnt go into any detail about why i didnt like them , she didnt ask but i knew she knew .

I had problems with my results and now go every 6 months which is truly a trauma for me every time , but seeing someone who respects your privacy and treats you decently makes all the differance . Do visit a few differant places , its ok to leave if you dont like it , you dont have to go into detail.

smear test is just stage one unfortunately. if you do have cell changes and need treatment (which takes longer and is more intrusive and painful than a smear test) you have zero right to see a female doctor.

i've had repeated treatment. last time they assigned me to a male consultant and i told them that i couldn't do it, there was a big huha and 6 months of conveniently losing my paperwork or it being on someone's desk for them to look at but they were away. i needed treatment and was scared that it was being left too long and the changes might be progressing. it was made very clear to me when i chased (despite my gp having written to them) that i had to see a man or go without or i could just have it done by the trained nurses.

trouble with that was i wouldn't get to talk to a consultant about what my prognosis was given that it had recurred several times but it came to no treatment, being treated by a man or not seeing a consultant. i went for the latter and was treated by the nurses at the clinic.

there was a female consultant but she refused to let me switch over. i even said to them look i have good reasons with trauma in the past for not being able to have a man do this and what happens with rape victims etc who just can't cope with a male doctor. i was told that they were short staffed and couldn't cater to people's 'preferences'.

sad state of affairs.

I have had treatment for cervical cancer caused most likely by HPV. You MUST go for smears - I would be dead if I hadn't.... yes, I understand how awful it can be (I am in tears every time) but why die when you don't have to of a disease which is treatable if caught early?

Also, when I needed treatment, I explained why I found it so traumatic and was treated under a general anaesthetic.
Very understanding doctors and nurses.

People do die of cervical cancer - fear cannot put you off! Sorry for repeated messages but I feel strongly about this!

People die all the time, of all kinds of things, that we will eventually die is the one certainty in this life.

I am in no hurry for it all to end, but the risks of me dying in this way are very, very small. And have to be weighed against the personal ordeal of taking part in the screening programme.

Does fear put you off venturing out on the icy roads?

The chance of contracting cervical cancer is 1 in 132. You then have a 1 in 3 chance of dying from it.

If you are taking the 'risk' of not having smears you can lower your risk in other ways by not smoking, not having lots of partners and always using a condom.

me2oo I am lucky in that I have not experienced abuse so I have not been in your shoes and I apologise if this is not helpful. I have had more than my fair share of smears & colposopies (and subsequent hysterectomy). IME the smears in GP's surgeries (even by nurses) are 'worse' than the colposcopy procedures I have in the gynea clinic. They have a separate room to get changed, and two female nurses present during the procedure, one of them will hold my hand if I am unsettled and they are very gentle, it is much more digified and comfortable than the couch in the GP surgery - I hated smears (I would cry all the way through them) and am quite relieved I don't have to have them anymore.

Maybe you could ask if you could have your smear done at the gynea clinic? Don't let them push you into doing it somewhere you are not comfortable with, IME the NHS can change things / do things quicker if you have a 'don't mess with me' face on.

Well I've now found the courage to go and just speak to the nurse. Off in a minute.

Missing bit of story, I cried to the doctor and she got the nurse to call me to go in for a chat.

Good luck, Me2oo

Hi im 21, when i was 17 i was raped, i don't have anyone to talk to as its as awkward of a coversation for my family and friends as it is for me, so i avoid the topic as much as possible, but its left me with bottled up emotions and mood swings, so i was hoping id find someone to talk to one here, someone that understands i guess, anyway sorry for rambling, i have a smear test that i haven't turned up to that i have to rebook to check for any cancerous cells as i have PCOS and the chance of cancer is higher, but im absolutely terrified as i had to have a sort of smear test right after the rape to collect any evidence...anyway i was hoping just for any reassurance really as im petrified of both the experience and the chance of having cancer, i have no idea what to do and how to handle it, thankyou for any reply

I am exactly the same as you. The most recent medical investigation I had was an ECG and I very nearly kicked the poor nurse as I was so stressed. It didn't help that she took forever and didn't seem to know her arse from her elbow. I'm well overdue for a smear test as I've had pre-cancerous cells before but I can't see myself being able to go through it without ending up traumatised. Sorry, no help, but I understand. Have just changed GP practices so am just waiting for the letters.

Did you know you can ask for a chaperone if you dont have anyone who can go with you? Contact your practice or PALS for more info.
they can talk it over with you beforehand, and are there to support you and liaise with staff.

Anwen, this thread is 7 years old so it might be more appropriate for you to start your own looking for support about this issue, perhaps in the health topic for example.

There is no link between PCOS and cervical cancer, so please don’t let that contribute to your anxiety.

It sounds like you’re not in the UK, because here cervical screening doesn’t start until 25 now. If you were in the UK there is a specialist organisation that supports women after sexual assault to access gynaecological care, perhaps there might be something similar where you are.

A friend of mine recently used this service and found it great, unfortunately its only based in London www.mybodybackproject.com/services-for-women/mbb-clinics/

Yes, this is me. I was abused as a child and then assaulted by four subsequent oarfners when I was 20. Unfortunately at 22 I had abnormal cells found, needed a colposcopy and was shortly afterwards diagnosed with endometriosis. I've therefore had to have many internal exams, and one horrific experience that was basically like being assaulted again when they tried to remove a coil.

This led to horrendous tokophobia which ruined my pregnancy. I sought help and had counselling for this but was never able to discuss the details of the specific assault that really affected me. I haven't had a smear test for years and I really should because of my history but I can't face it. Ended up needing an emergency section so didn't have to deliver vaginally.

Would love any suggestions for dealing with this as I really need to go.

I believe there are home testing kits you can get for HPV (you basically take a swab from your own cervix and send it by post to be analysed) which might be more manageable for some? I know it's not the same as a proper examination by a medical professional, but maybe better than nothing for those unable to do that.

If I understand correctly, these days they do an HPV test on the smear test samples first anyway, and only examine the cells if it comes back positive - can anyone confirm that?