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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Plan to teach sexual consent in school

90 replies

darleneconnor · 26/11/2010 09:27

here

They are about to discuss on TWS (sans Mr Wright).

OP posts:
dittany · 01/12/2010 18:59

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HerBeatitude · 01/12/2010 19:36

Ben do you understand that when the meejah refers to "the middle classes" they don't mean every single middle class person in the world? Similarly, when feminists (or non-feminists) refer to "men" they don't mean all men everywhere. HTH

mathanxiety · 01/12/2010 22:01

"women give birth" doesn't mean all women do, but those who give birth are women.

dittany · 01/12/2010 22:57

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Sakura · 02/12/2010 00:58

I hear what dittany is saying about the emphasis should be on women's humanity.

I just can't for the life of me imagining all the grey-heads getting it.

I think going with SGB's collaborative sex idea is the best bet, for now.

Although, there are also repercussions to that 'model' because it doesn't quite get the message across that the reason women are raped is because they're not seen as being "quite as human as men". However, I can see it helping in some rape cases in the short term. A man will not be able to say he didn't know she didn't want it.

dittany · 02/12/2010 08:57

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Sakura · 02/12/2010 09:04

I never know when "you" is too personal on the internet!it sounds weird, doesn't it when you address someone in the third person!

anastaisia · 02/12/2010 11:55

But there's a need to remember that the young people this is aimed at are those who will be considering sex and not rape.

So we're talking about teaching healthy attitudes to sex, which we hope would in turn decrease the strange views some people who would class themselves as being against rape have on what they might see as a blurred area between rape and sex.

Policy, legislation and educational material should be made with an awareness of exceptions, but to base policy, legislation and education entirely around the worst expections of people is a mistake in my opinion.

dittany · 02/12/2010 12:03

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anastaisia · 02/12/2010 12:40

No, but driving instruction focuses on teaching you to drive safely not on not drinking and driving.

I'm not saying both issues don't need to be tackled; but that they are in many ways two separate issues and they probably need different approaches.

So dealing with consent in a way that puts responsibility on all participants to ensure that the experience is consensual is like driving instruction. Dealing with the issues in a way that assumes the best of people and encouraging healthy attitudes to sex.

Then you still need to deal with rape and assult: surely young people having the idea they need to consent for it to be ok would help in things like the 'small' assults thread? The collegues who stood around and didn't react to things: Might their views not have changed? Might it not give more women the confidence to object loudly that they didn't consent to that if someone groped them on a crowded train? Did you see the newspaper article the other week about the man who reported his friend for attempted rape (after stopping it because he though the woman had been too drunk to give proper consent)? Wouldn't it be good if more men thought that way?

I'm not saying it'd help with really serious cases of abuse, assult and rape. But I think it could be one part of a multifaceted approach. Just like you have to learn to drive and we still run drink driving campaigns.

colditz · 02/12/2010 12:55

Until it is drilled out of girls that having sex is A Bad Thing To Do, then we won't be able to get them to be confident in saying NO.

They won't say NO if they think that they are going to get the blame if they say no and he still doesn't stop, because they shouldn't have 'encouraged' him (by wearing a skirt/looking at him 'in that way'/breathing). In those circumstances, they may feel it is better just to let it happen and pretend you meant to all along.

mathanxiety · 02/12/2010 16:45

(The entire canon of criminal law is based on the worst expectations of people.)

'Wouldn't it be good if more men thought that way?' I think this is the problem in a nutshell -- too many men refusing to speak up, stand up and be counted when it comes to rape, groping etc. Instead we get 'Men don't, IME. Perhaps some misogynists do, and evidently all rapists do, but men? All of us? Or even the majority?' Passing the buck, insisting that it's none of your business, hair-splitting.

anastaisia · 02/12/2010 17:06

(Yeah, I probably didn't say that terribly well, the 'entirely' in the sentence probably wasn't enough. Though even criminal law isn't based entirely around worst expectations - if it was there wouldn't be clauses that allow for 'diminished responsibility' and things like that. But yes, criminal law is far more focussed on worst expectations than any other area should be.

And here we're really talking about education policy and implementation here. :) )

mathanxiety · 02/12/2010 17:25

I think when it comes to men's attitude to rape, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

dittany · 02/12/2010 18:03

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