Am I right to be really really annoyed about this.......

[LadyBlaBlah]

So, I have my own business and a few weeks ago was at one of those hideous networking meetings. It is clearly a business venue.

I got speaking to a guy who also had his own business and we had quite a lot of business opportunities in common, so we were talking for quite some time. Exchanged business cards and said we will keep in touch.

So, I sent a message on Linked In saying "I met you at the networking meeting in X and would like add you to my professional network".

I have just received an email back saying " Hi sexy , great to see you on linked in, stay in touch etc"

I am really really incensed by this. My immediate reaction was "oh my god was I flirting with him?", but I bloody well wasn't. We were talking about business.

This is fucking objectification in practice and I really fancy a bit of Thelma and Louise style revenge. Do you think he deserves it, if so suggestions please.

Jeez, I thought he was a fucking decent guy too.

euuugh!! so all he wants is a shag? he doesn't even see the businees aspect of this at all?? gross

don't add him. sexist twerp. didn't you know women were only in business so men could mis business with plesure?

mix business with pleasure.

It has really brought home to me all the stuff about the way women are viewed in business.

Arsehole.

It is so fucking inappropriate

it really is. well, at least you know now before you associated your business with his!

Assuming that your name isn't Sextina or something and he's just abbreviating it to Sexy, then uuurgh.

Or (trying to give all possible benefit of doubt) that he and someone else were flirting at the same event after he talked to you and he has the two of you mixed up. But then he has to be quite staggeringly dim, which is also not an asset in a business contact.

Either way steer well clear.

Well, I don't know what you're getting so worked up about and thinking this is a feminist issue. The fact that he wants a shag doesn't really say anything about your business and ability as a businesswoman. Loads of people meet future husbands/wives at work, doesn't mean they disrespect said work and see the person as a sex object only

ha ha ha @ pamelaflitton. aww. stick around here pamela. you have much to learn.

Well, he's obviously a bit skanky and crass. But I don't see what there is to get so massively offended about.

LOL Prof

On the benefit of the doubt possibility - Linked In has a photo, so not truly an option.

I have always felt conscious going to such events and chatting to men supposedly about business - making sure you are not flirting, not making rude jokes which could be taken the wrong way, and so on. And even when you do do that (which is fucking ridiculous in the first place) you still get shit like this.

If you've only had one completely non-flirtatious conversation (about business), contact them in a businesslike manner (about business) and immediately get addressed as "Hi sexy" it does very much say something about how they view you as a business person.

You see how indoctrinated this shit is in us?

Pamela - that's a wind up right?

Short of meeting someone in a bar, flirting shamelessly and finishing the evening with at least a snog, I don't think any initial communication should start with "hello sexy".

And everyone who uses LinkedIn knows it's a professional network. Not for making friends and meeting new partners.

Yeah LinkedIn is a professional network, but presumably this is the only way he has of contacting her? 'Hey sexy' is [puke] but still don't really get the outrage

madame, good idea.

Yes he deserves it.

It's vile isn't it? I've had that experience before now when you are getting on well with someone on a purely professional basis - talking about work, getting physically close to someone (ie two of your looking at a screen together), letting your guard down - only for some slightly off-colour comment to make it all feel totally uncomfortable and wrong, to emphasise that you are two people of the opposite sex. I work with men all the time and it has to be on a totally neutral basis.

I think I will write that back to him, Madame.

Let's see

That's it Orm. You feel / have the illusion, that you are having a neutral relationship with someone, a business relationship and then WHAM they come right back at you and put you in your place with such comments.

It's fucking depressing

Even more so that women think it is alright

Anyway, have sent the MadameDeathstare email and let's see what the creep comes back with!

OP...Perhaps a sharp 'I would prefer that you do not address me as 'sexy' it's wildly inappropriate and find it, and you, objectionable.

I haven't heard back

I do wonder

He genuinely seemed like a nice bloke. Sleaze radar didn't go off which was why I was so shocked when I received it.

put it down to experience, there are all sorts of arseholes out there. Don't get involved or prolong the contact. It's a good lesson, your radar will be sharper next time. I was taken in by a conman once. He pretended he ran a business empire, and I fell for it. That's how some of these twits get their kicks. But it taught me a good lesson, and I was less gullible afterwards.

Not sure it's about sharp radar or about the communication you had with him. Some men just see women as targets.