Shoes for Women - why is their pressure to wear uncomfortble footwear to 'fit in'?

[TwoCotbeds]

When buying shoes, I am remindeed of the old chinese culture on foot-binding. Why is it one gender ( men) can buy shoe which are smart for work AND can also walk all day, round town in comfort, or over grass, say.... but Women have the only Option of 'smart' shoes for work that go with a suit,and look professional or shoes that they can easily wear in comfort all day - but not both ?

I think this has got worse recently with the fashion for very, very high shoes which actually damage the foot.

I always think to myself, a womans and a mans foot is structurally the same. They are not different shapes, like torsos are. Of course I like to look feminine not male, but I also like to walk as much as I like.

I was also told by a chiropodist that the only reason court shoes ( ones with no strap) ever actually stay on, not fall off is because they are actually too small !

Although in the end I have said sod this I am not wearing heels at work. But I will resolve this by not working in an office!

Which was a feminist decision.

But when I did play the game I wanted to be good at it.

Hey I am really riling against the fact that I might have to wear Ecco shoes or Birkies

I do accept the handicap thing, and the Chinese foot binding similarity and women being bound, trapped and curtailed.

There is not a coherent solution to this at the moment.

On the one hand you should be able to wear heels because you shouldn't have to second guess a sexual attack.

On the other hand, heels are historically constructed for male pleasure.

But females should also be able to attract males if they wish.

And they should be able to do it without fearing sexual attack

But by wearing these heels, they are arguably more vulnerable to sexual attack

But then it is men setting the agenda again

And we are back at the beginning

It is literally no win at the moment to this argument. For me, the reason why this remains is that women still need to attract men. That is a basic instinct which puts the spanner in the works.

I must admit I am struggling with squaring wearing heels to say a party at someone's house as I enjoy dressing up and link it with having a great night and being a feminist.

Maybe they are totally incompatible.

I don't wear heels - apart from one pair of wedges that have been worn out of the house once and some low heeled boots. I have been asked not to tower over dh as he is 3 inches shorter that me and feels uncomfortable if I am towering over him in platforms - but to be honest if I wanted to wear tottering heels I would - I just don't.

I see them as something for other women - not me - I am tall and broadly built (think sturdy farm girl) with wide lare feet that simply do not fit into pretty party shoes. I love my birkenstocks and boots I spent my teens in converse and dm's.

I do think it is mad that women are expected to wear impractical shoes in order to be considered 'feminine' - I am very feminine, I even wear dresses but the shoes I choose are comfortable and it does not seem to bother men. I always think of other women judging me for my frumpy footwear not blokes.

It is like all the make over shows where a frumpy looking womaen is transformed into a siren by being squeezed into underwear and a dress emphasising her 'bangers' and a 'killer' heels - yes that is all fine for standing in front of a mirror or tottering up a catwalk but try actually living your life in these ridiculous outfits!? I find control underwear creates new unusually positioned unsightly bumps once you actually start walking around and skirts ride up tights fall down (or is this just me???) Why the f**k does 'fashionable' or 'attractive' have to mean 'impossible to function' in?

When dh is questioned he prefers me without make up or restrictive clothing (or any clothing). So why does there have to be an industry built around putting women into impractical/ restrictive/ expensive/ reductive clothing? Apologies for the child like questioning but it just peeves me that we buy into it - I do as well (not the shoes though)!

Now see I care deeply about aesthetics. I find some clothes more appealing than others.

I would feel very pissed off if I had to wear masculine shoes or easy fit trousers, for eg all the time.

And I don't do a lot of things: tan, nails, straightening, earrings, foundation in day, stilettos etc (again personal aesthetic reasons)

I feel I am making a valid choice as a woman.

Or am I?

I refuse to wear shoes I cant run in. I wouldn't feel safe otherwise.

Maybe the environments I wear heels in are ones I feel are safe. Because the men are civilised, married or professional. Yes an illusion, of safety. I can't bear leering and wouldn't feel comfortable. But I actively avoid those situations now.

re. wearing stillys at work to 'fit in' - this is one area where working in a more male dominated environment (and one where I was required to walk to site visits frequently) fitting in meant sensible shoes (though I did have a pair of dark red boots with a couple of inches of heel that came out occasionally but I did find them uncomfortable if worn all day...

I don't feel under pressure to buy or wear stupid shoes. It might help that I am nearly 6' tall so always felt more embarrassed about being 'too' tall in heels than about wearing unfeminine shoes. I now also have a foot injury that means I can't wear anything over about an inch anyway.

I wear a lot of flat heeled boots or converse. Trainers for running. I have one pair of 'smart' shoes for work but they have a low heel too.

What is considered attractive is constructed by a patriarchal society, therefore I don't really think a womans choice to wear killer heels is truly her choice, but one heavily influenced by men.

So you all wear flat boots to social events?

I do find that when in comfortable shoes I tend to walk more freely, with bigger strides and my shoulders relaxed. More like a man? It does make you wonder why being 'feminine' requires you to be more constrained in your movements.

But I have worked almost entirely with men for many years. Maybe that makes a difference.

I do dislike the term 'feminine' anyway.

I live in a hot country and live in rubber flip flops.

I have zero tolerance for uncomfortable shoes.

I have wiiiiiiiide feet, so anything with a closed toe or strap across is unlikely to fit.

I struggle to find anything remotely stylish with a chshioned sole.

Birkies or flip flops.

Yes marsha. Usually. I have some very nice long black boots with no heel.

But aesthetically pleasing doesn't have to mean impractical and restrictive? does it?? I find stretchy jrsey knee length dresses pratical and comfortable as they allow me freedom of movement and worn with leggings and knee boots they are still attractive (imo) - see aesthetics are not universal - I suppose my outfit might be considered fugly by another observer - I am happy though.

I'm finding this approach to dressing a bit joyless.

Some of it is for the fun of it inspite of men not because of them.

And whilst I may look elegant for a while in heels, after about 30 mins I will be waddling like a duck so not in the slightest aesthetically pleaseing

No marsha but I bitch piss and moan about it afterwards!

Why joyless?

It's only joyless if we don't like the clothes we wear.

Ok cross posts. I like flat riding boots and happily wear nice ones.

I usually do wear very low heeled boots to social events - I do feel slightly under pressure to wear heels when I go out with a new group of women friends (mothers of children at my kids schol) as they all get their massive heels out, but once in heels I can never shake the feeling that I am somehow in drag so I am happier wearing my boots and accepting that I cannot join in with the 5 mins of oohing and ahhing over shoes in the evening. [shrugs]

I do enjoy it , the dressing up like a child would. It feels different and fun.

I get it's not for everyone but I do feel a bit like yes I should feel bad about a male society doing this to me.

I don't! I feel quite sure I am making my own decisions.

I have some beautiful heels. I wonder if it can be likened to Germaine Greer's perspective on make up that if it is worn like art, it is ok. I feel like that about a particular darling pair of heels anyway.