JessInAvalon, I could have written everything you just did. My own understanding of feminism has developed just like yours, although I have always had a feminist streak in me since childhood, as I have always been brought up to believe that I can pursue my career of choice and that I am just as important as a man.
I think a lot of these sorts of debates really hinge on definitions. Dittany knows a lot about this. Personally, I would consider myself a radical feminist because I truly believe that the nuclear family set-up prevalent in the west perpetuates women's second-class status. As a single parent in a community where I know many married parents and many other single parents, I have clearly observed that it is the quality of the parenting that matters most to the outcome of the child, not the married status of the mother. I would love to see a recognition of all types of family set-up, not just the conventional. A group of three like-minded, committed friends (male, female or mix of both) can provide a much more stable upbringing for young children than a unhappy married couple IMO.
I am really interested in the debate about feminism and capitalism. Can anyone recommend a book on this by the way? I can see why the immediate response is to assume that they cannot work together as capitalism has to place an economic value on means of production and end product. However, I would like to explore how we can apply an economic value to child-rearing, as without it the whole society would collapse. As we now live in a service based economy, rather than a manufacturing one, can't we tweak the ideology? I ask this because although I am lefty by instinct, i am not a true socialist. I believe in equality of opportunity (give all children ? rich, poor, female, male ? the same standard of education, provide free health care for all etc) but I believe that even with a level playing field some people 'deserve' more than others. There will always be lazy gits whose basic humanity means they deserve decent accommodation, free health care, and a reasonable standard of living, but they should not receive the same as someone who works hard (be that in an office, raising a family or caring in the community). I think it is our notion of 'value' that needs to change, not necessarily the basic idea of rewarding greater output (value).
Interesting post.