Recommending a book to a pregnant 'feminist' friend

[camaleon]

I have a friend who is pregnant. She has a post traditionally dominated by males. Since this kind of post exists (more than 50 years now) it has only been -recently- covered by a few women. And here it goes: she is pregnant and she wants to make a political point about it.

I cannot get into details. It would be too easy to identify her in a few weeks. From what she tells me, I have the impression she believes she will work as before, do everything as before, and her 'point' will be to show to the whole world that you can have children and still be a man productive hard working 20 hours a day human being.

I do not know enough to participate in this thread but I follow it with huge interest. I have seen in the 'wifework' thread someone citing Noam Wolfs' book Misconceptions. Do you think this book would be a good one to give her as a present. From what I know I believe she is under huge misconceptions about maternity, including this incredible trust in medical procedures over/against patient beliefs. Any other ideas?

Hope my query is more or less clear. Thank you in advance

I believe that you want to do something nice for your friend. That said, personally I'm a bit wary of the "Oh, all your ambitions will change after you have a baby" type of narrative. Maybe her ambitions and beliefs will change, but you can't pre-empt that. It's great if you can support her if she does go through that change process, but that's a different thing to taking it upon yourself to suggest that she will go through such a process.

That said, I still like "What Mothers Do" for the sheer reassurance. I liked Misconceptions when I initially read it, long before having children, but since having a baby, I think it says more about Naomi Wolf than about mothers in general (although she is good on how the parents' relationship can be affected). She does go into the medical interventions debate in quite a lot of detail. I'd say it's particularly relevant if your friend is in the US (not asking you to confirm that).

It is also entirely possible that if she is in a high-powered, highly-paid job she will buy in the type of childcare that makes it possible to continue to work full-time. I have friends - from MN, yet - who have done precisely that.