Teaching young girls about make-up - anyone want to talk about this?

[Cappster]

I don't know if there have been 100 threads about this already but anyway

My Yr1 dd2 is wanting to borrow my make-up or put nail varnish on in order to look 'pretty'.(Dd1 has never been all that fussed, really, she has a much more sporty style so the subject never really came up)

There's no point me coming off all highminded about the subject because I wear make-up everyday. Also I don't want to get into the way my mum did it ("You don't need it because your skin is so young") because what's wrong with looking 40+ anyway? Men don't start wearing make-up when they're 40.

Anyway. I've been talking to her about it being a costume, and we had a good old chat about a girl with bright pink hair the other day that she liked, and about how she hadn't dyed it to be 'pretty' but to make herself look different, like dressing up maybe

I'm wondering, because her and her sister are watching shedloads of Horrible Histories at the moment, of getting some face paints and doing historical make-up eg Egyptians, Georgians etc to show how fashions for how people are expected to look change through time

I'm more alarmed by this because of her saying to a five year old boy at our campsite on holiday ('See you tomorrow! If you like I'll be in the dress I wore today' ).

What does anyone else think?

(on make-up from Y9) I think once girls get to the spotty stage they can be very self-conscious without makeup. I very rarely wear any but I'm pretty sure I kept concealer manufacturers in business during my teens...

I don't especially think it should be banned; I think turning a blind eye is ok from yes about 13 or 14. But I do feel that if the school is saying it is ok, then that is tantamount to saying girls need makeup. One must look pretty at all times. One's naked skin is unattractive. Or isn't it?

DD (3) has got hold of my mascara a couple of times and painted herself a noel gallagher style black monobrow, then been terribly pleased with herself

But i struggle to explain to her why makeup is for grownups. Why? If it is about looking pretty, why isn't she allowed to look pretty? She brushes her hair and has hairclips and things... So how do I explain why makeup is different. Why is it different? Because it's fundamentally to do with looking sexually attractive? I can't think of another reason and that blows my "I wear it sometimes for me" argument right out of the water

Boogeek, I lose track of which years are which but from 14 up is fine IMO.

We had a similar situation to yours in that the school that I went to banned make-up, but some teachers turned a blind eye, some didn't. It was inconsistent. A teacher could turn a blind eye for weeks and then have a bad day and come down like a ton of bricks.

And I do think it is good for the older pupils to get some kind diffrentiation over the younger ones, and acknowledgement that they are gaining maturity (allegedly).

And I agree that zit camouflage is a must.

I have always worn make up - I was wearing it at school when I was 13/14. In those days though it was to look different - loads of black eyeliner etc - rather than to look pretty. I think because of this I don't have a problem with make up - I don't see myself as being a hypocrite for wearing it.

I am much more toned down these days but I do wear it almost every day, and not always in a 'natural look' way - eg I often wear red lipstick.

I have approached it with dd by comparing it to face paint - it's additional decoration in the same way that earrings, scarves and necklaces are. Some people wear it, some don't and it's personal choice. DD is not allowed make up but we do have face paints and glittery stuff which she is free to mess about with. She never tries to simulate a made up look - eg by painting her lips red - it's always a bit more creative.

She did go to a pamper party once and I was horrified when I picked her up - like one of those scary beauty pageant tots.

I would be livid if I sent the dds to a 'pamper party' and they came home with make-up on.

Re what I tell the dds about me wearing make-up: I look old and haggard because I haven't had enough sleep since dd1 was born 8 yrs ago and make-up fills in the cracks and hides the dark circles.

The mother did say to me that she felt she should have checked whether we were all ok with it beforehand. I think she got some teenagers to help out (it was a party at the child's house) and I think they got a bit carried away!

Great thread. Will certainly come back after the school run. Thanks for the Dove link. I will show that to my 11 year old dd.

That is a good point saf. I read the first line on active convos and was going to ask the very question you answered in your second line!