I stopped watching a movie because it was offensive in the extreme

[kickassangel]

when i know that i have a load of ironing to do, i like to have some 'mindless' tv to watch, so i got a 'romcom' out of the library. obviously, i expect a huge array of stereotypes & lazy writing, but I was actually quite shocked at how appalling this was.

It's the 'Heartbreak Kid' with Ben Stiller in it. The 'plot' is that he marries in haste to a woman who turns out to be a nightmare whilst they're on their honeymoon, so he spends all his time with another woman who he falls in love with.

i was expecting the 'nightmare' things of the wife to be deliberately manipulative, or cruel or something, (but in a slapstick kind of way) in order to justify this plot.

No.

The 'nightmare' is a woman who is over emotional, over dramatic, and a bit needy. There are some things about her that in rl you'd struggle with, e.g. she's an ex-drug user, but all the other aspects are just exaggerated stereotypes of 'traditionally feminine' characteristics.

I didn't bother watching to the end as the film was pretty boring as well, but I doubt that they turned it around to show a more balanced view.

I was just so disgusted that it
a) used an exaggerated stereotype in such a crass manner,
and that then
b) justified him ditching her on their honeymoon to go out with another woman!!

Shame on everyone involved with the movie. I'm pretty laid back and rarely get upset about light hearted media as I just don't take it seriously, but the attitude behind this was horrific.

No real point to my post except to vent, cos i was so appalled. I've never even started a thread in 'feminism' before.

Silly really but I got really cross at the end of the (otherwise lovely) TV version of Ballet Shoes, when the girl's guardian was consigned to matrimony. To clarify - the book ends with all the girls going their separate ways to make their careers, no-one gets married. Yet on TV they killed off Mrs Simpson (not that one) to free up Mr S to marry Sylvia, while the girl's dance teacher pined away after him. Why?

On shakier ground, I was annoyed at the end of Mean Girls when the almost-certainly-supposed-to-be-a-lesbian character is paired off with the only spare male left. Silly me, I though maybe the writers had created a mainstream gay character, what with her hanging out with a gay man, not being caught up in boy-chasing, being frequently referred to as a lesbian, being named after famous gay singer Janis Ian, etc etc etc. But heaven forfend that she's allowed to be gay, or to remain ambivalent even

Actually, the misogyny of hollywood is quite intentional:

here

and here

the second one (The Misogynist Who Gets The Girl is a Male Fantasy) is one that I particularly liked.

Oh, and Americans love feminists... feminists like Sarah Palin

(btw, as an American, I was horrified when I moved to London about how openly accepted some sexism was, particularly the hilarious "dirty old man" trope. Which is neither funny nor harmless. So really, it goes both ways)

I thought at the time re the Bridget Jones film (the first one) that she was so obviously awful and willing to be used that there must be some point to it. She was sweet but dim and submissive. I think I was just young, and felt like I wasn't getting it, whatever it was. (It was clearer in the books but still...)
However with the benefit of age, and the dismal second film, it was just a dog's dinner, wasn't it?

Forgot who mentioned The Devil Wears Prada, but if you start the thread, I'll join in. I had steam coming out of my ears by the end of that. Dreadful.

That blog is FANTASTIC!

I don't come on this part of mumsnet often but have been dying to start up a thread about 'Saturday Night Fever' and the misogynistic views in it.

I remember watching it when I was much younger, and not catching onto the themes. I had the misfortune of watching it a few weeks ago and honestly felt sick at the attitudes of the men in that film. The women were portrayed as lesser beings and the playthings of the protaganists. i.e. one woman getting raped while the other men told her to shut up, then it was made out to be all her fault anyway. Me and DP watched with our mouths open.

I know its an older film, but its still shown regularly on TV, with some really obvious misogynistic themes.

Agree with SGB, brilliant blog! Thank you for posting the links marenmj.

oOOOO DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
Oh sweetie having a career is nice for a while but what about my birthday

FUCK OFF MORON FUCK OFF

and that's only 1 scene

Massivehead - and her career is portrayed as the the height of frivel while it's fine for him to work all hours as a chef (which isn't lifesaving either).

I know GothAnneGeddes it's such an infuriating film. The ridicule from her friends is another thing too.
ooo and her bosses failed marraige ? You see girls that's what happens when you get above your station NOBODY LOVES YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A BITCH

hahaha so true - i had blocked all that out!

Yes - look you may have a job and children BUT AT A TERRRRRIBLE COST!

I rather liked the Sarah Silverman character in School of Rock and thought she was pretty sympathetic. Worried now what that says about me...

I liked her character too, PLIMLS, because she was the only one in the situation who was actually acting like an adult who has financial obligations to meet and etc.

My problem with that was that she was portrayed as a creativity-stifling harpy for it, and that they had to make the [male] best friend have a girlfriend to point out that his roomate was a bit of a loser instead of making him man up and do it himself. The writers let the male friend, who obviously secretly wants to be a rocker/slacker, hide behind a woman and let her take the heat. I mean, I know that Jack Black's character was the protagonist, so we are supposed to believe that aging, chubby rockers who sponge off their friends are really awesome and misunderstood. But [based on a non-scientific survey of my friends and family] women seemed to identify most with Sarah Silverman's character because they often felt they had to be "the responsible" ones in their lives, and they really disliked how her character was punished in the story for having the gall to live in the real world.

All in all it seemed rather like an exercise in middle-aged delusion ("I could have made it as a rock star if I hadn't been held back by all these no-fun wet-blankets") and they cast the one person who said "maybe it's time to actually pay your rent and your bills and if rock'n'roll can't do it, find something else" as the villain. The sad part is they made that villain the woman instead of the person who had some financial skin in the game (the man who is on the hook for the whole rent check when Black falls through). So not only is she a harpy, she's a controlling harpy who will presumably berate her husband-to-be into a life of spinelessness and banality

Not that you asked for a review of the movie.

Oh, and as an aside - I actually liked "He's Just Not That Into You" because I thought the other relationships were portrayed in a relatively adult manner. I hated the main girl, really really, and couldn't help but think that the wardrobe department had a terrible grudge against her boobs and hair (seriously the worst wig I have seen in a major motion picture in a very long time), but the rest of the relationships portrayed were good because they were, on a romcom scale, more complex than usual. DH and I particularly liked that there were no 'viallains' even in the affair storyline - you could understand and empathize with both of them. I also like the message that women shouldn't excuse dick-ish behaviour because they are a super-special flower and their situation is different than every time before (the "exception not the rule" idea from the film). I know way to many women who do this, and romcoms in general are alllll about exceptions - like the OP post, the Heartbreak Kid. Seriously, the girl he meets and leaves his newly-wed wife for? Yeah, she should really expect the same behaviour from him towards her the second things get the slightest bit rough, as they inevitably do.

My biggest peeve with romcoms is that usually one or both of the love interest characters does something horrible and unforgivable, and then is promptly forgiven for the neat, last-minute-at-the-airport resolution. Just once I would like to see a woman lead (or man, hey, I'm an equal-opportunity rejector) after the love-you-forever-can't-live-without-you speech say "sorry no, I don't really need assholes in my life, bye"

wow, that turned into a novel...

Yes, her hair in that film was weird.

I liked the film generally and the whole "Stop thinking he's the exception. He isn't." That was a big eye opener for me, as I have done it a lot, without realising I was doing it IYKWIM.

Skip my next paragraph if you don't want the ending spoiled BTW.

But then the ending really really irritated me, when he says "No, I'm the exception" I just wanted to punch him! What makes him think he was so special? And hadn't she learned anything?? Also general grrrr that in films a close friendship between a straight man and a woman can't ever be just that.

Another film I fucking hated was "The Hangover"

Woman-hating shite

My kids loved it, I am ashamed to say < grrrr >

I've never "got" sex and the city. I have a group of female friends, I know what it's like to be female, so why is it I cannot connect with any of them on any level. THen I discover the producer and director are men.

The film!! I watched the first one only. Can anyone correct me if I've got this wrong. The man who has has been stringing her along for years, finally concedes to her demands for a steady relationship, and agrees to marry her. THen he decides not to turn up at the altar. THEN she blames her FRIEND, Miranda, for a throw-away comment she made about marriage the night she found out her partner had been cheating on her. Miranda was to blame for Big not turning up to the wedding. Big was not to blame at all. Miranda apologizes profusely for Big not turning up at the altar. Carrie eventually forgives her. Then marries Big anyway.

Is there something I'm missing? WOmen actually went to see the second film!

Oh yes the breast cancer. PUnishment from God for having too much sex...

At the time SATC was on TV, the consensus among my female friends was that SATC was nothing like real life whatsoever (you don't say) and a bit of throwaway tv which had women as the protagonists was a good thing. (Girl Power has a lot to answer for - not that I went for that, but I think there was a time in the 90s when women lowered their game in the name of fun.)

DH, however flatly refused to watch it and thought it was misogynistic shite that portrayed four vile, self-destructive, patently needy people.

I can't watch more than about 4 seconds of it now. Was not tempted by the films at all!

Semicolon - did you mean "2 weeks notice" - with Sandra Bullock? It's on now and I've had to stop watching. They're going to get together aren't they. Because he has a helicopter. Even though he's a sexually incontinent manchild.

Actually, they end up together after he spectacularly departs from his family's money and is a [relative] pauper. Standard romcom stuff.

that one is better than others because her character is intelligent and competant, something that can't be said of most female leads - especially as a lawyer, which in the US is a VERY unfriendly field for females. It's not like she's swanning around in a penthouse apartment while working as a graphic designer/waitress/freelance columnist

haha no that's true. He kept suggesting that she get some kind of makeover - did she?

It was something like "why don't you doll yourself up a little?" oh, you mean unlike the full make-up, perfect glossy swoop of hair, 6 inch heels and short skirts she has been wearing throughout the film?

lol, it's been years since I've seen the film, but I do think that line was in reference to a fancy dress party and he was suitably impressed. Still