When do you stop vetting your child’s book choices?

[PinotAndPlaydough]

Interested to hear when parent leave their kids to it and just let them read what they want.

I’ve read some articles saying that vetting reading can be counterproductive and it benefits children to read what they want and then in the flip side there is lots with parents up in arms that their 8 year child has got hold of a Jacquline Wilson book.

My daughter (10) is an avid reader and wants to read adult books (such as Stephen king) she’s autistic so some adult themes she just wouldn’t understand and she doesn’t scare easily, but then again I don’t want her reading books with any graphic sex scenes, rape etc.

It’s a bloody minefield at this age, her reading level is much higher than her age. So what’s everyone’s view on this?

Think I was reading Harold Robbins and Jacqueline Susanne at that age.

Limited vetting in primary school (I just explained why some books were for 'later', only a couple of times) and then no vetting in secondary but I think if there was something I really felt strongly about I would discuss and again suggest 'later' rather than no.

I did speak openly about the books I thought were shit or had horrible undertones or were cruel or whatever. But I never tried to prevent the kids from reading them.

Can't see any issue with JW books though - what am I missing?

I would vet, not necessarily censor but I think some books require a bit of discussion and chat.

I was a very avid reader and unlike others I think it did affect me. I had some very peculiar ideas as a child thanks to Enid Blyton!

Jacqueline Wilson is mostly very good but I would be mindful of the following

Love Lessons pretty much blames a teenage girl for an inappropriate relationship with a teacher. The girl has to leave the school.

Illustrated Mum is brilliant but deals with bipolar - might need a chat first.

Errrrm there are others … will think.

I'm in a similar position to you, OP. We didn't let DD read Harry Potter books 6 and 7 when she was 6, though I'd consider it now.

Having said that, reading about something unpleasant really is different to watching it on TV - if you've no related experience, there's a limit to what your mind can imagine or understand, for me at least - I've read many books which I enjoyed (at some level) but would very much not want to watch a screen version of them - 1984 springs to mind as an example.

I found when I said to mine 'hmm that one might be better a bit later' they really didn't mind.

We still do that with films.

If a young child has an advanced reading age then that doesn't mean they should read adult books with adult themes, it means they should be directed towards books with more complex language like many of the children's classics rather than offered inappropriate books.

Not all children will read classics. I tried DS on quite a few to delay moving onto the YA section at only 8. He loved Redwall, but that was the last series he read in the children's section, he just wasn't interested in many others. I know you said adult books and it was YA he moved onto, but the older themes were actually important, it was the books with an older 'interest level' that engaged him, not just a higher reading age.

@Clearwatersinthestream

I would vet, not necessarily censor but I think some books require a bit of discussion and chat.

I was a very avid reader and unlike others I think it did affect me. I had some very peculiar ideas as a child thanks to Enid Blyton!

I'm curious to know what ideas you had? We have quite a few enid blyton books, they seem to be fairy tale type stories!

Enid Blyton is full of prejudice and othering.

I love reading the classics, but my child doesn't like it. So I don't worry. He chooses the books himself, and I buy the books. So I know what he's reading.

As a child there was usually money for any book I asked for and which wasn’t available from the library. I try to do the same with my kids.
My then 14yo asked me to get a book which I found out (from MN!) glorified suicide and described in great detail self abuse and abuse by others. The adult posters were saying they found it hard to appreciate or even finish in some cases.

My censorship was “If you want it, use your own money”. It was never mentioned again.

American Psycho is the one book that all our sixth form ask for, but having read it when it came out, I was appalled at the gratuitous violence against women. Yes, I know it is a parody America at the time, but In today’s society with so much violence against women, I cannot even think about adding it to a recommended reading list, although other schools have it on there.

I was an avid and advanced reader-ended up with an English literature degree-and my parents never vetted my choices. It was harder then as there was very little YA fiction. It was either children's literature, which I was bored with by 10 or 11, but a bit too young for adult classics. I remember trying Thomas Hardy, The Brontes etc at about that age because I'd seen some films based on the novels, but the vocabulary and historical context were difficult.

So I went for the middle ground-adult novels with modern vocabulary and not too challenging academically. Harold Robins, Virginia Andrews, Stephen King, Agatha Christie, James Herbert. Some good stuff in there, some stuff that wasn't too great in terms of political correctness, but it did no harm. I even found some gems-some parents wouldn't want their 12 year old reading A Clockwork Orange, I loved it.

Funny, no one ever vetted mine.

I was reading Jackie Collins at 12, I also read The Thornbirds & Jaws, my parents never censored what I read. Ds was reading books about the annexation of the Crimea & North Korea when he was still in primary school, he has always shown an interest in politics & World affairs from a young age.

I don't vet what my 8 year old reads. I figured she wouldn't have access to anything majorly inappropriate in the first place so there's no need to.

Her own books are what I buy her (she's an avid reader and has about 150 books in her room). There aren't any other books in the house.

She chooses from the school library for school reading, so there won't be anything inappropriate there.

When we visit the local library she chooses from the Children's/young reader sections.

The 'worst' she could get her hands on is something for young teens or things like Jacqueline Wilson (that she has the full box set of) or Enid Blyton which some people feel aren't appropriate. But I don't mind because we have talked about very old authors and how those books were written in different times and the language and attitudes might not be acceptable or used today.

I think there's no need to be rigid about reading material as long as it falls into young readers /young teen/pre teen/Children's categories.

If she approached me about an adult book I would check out the theme/story and as long as there's no sexual content or extreme violence I'd be happy for her to try it out, and she'd probably find for herself that she's not got any interest yet.

I was an avid reader as a child and still am.
I remember doing the classics, goosebumps, Enid blighton, etc but I quickly went through them all.
My mum who is also a bookworm guided me in the library towards more adult authors (sidney sheldon etc) or books that she had already read, but I do remember she let me read a book written by Rose and Fred west's daughter whilst I was 'young' but she kept checking in with me and did warn me it was 'nice'.
I'm now 37 and we (mum, me & sister) share an amazon account so we can share books.

I think let them read what they want but keep an open communication with them on the topic/book. Maybe encourage them to talk to you about what they are reading.

*wasn't 'nice

Please can we have an edit button?!

I gently nudge DS1 occasionally (he’s 9). I do vet what we read to him and vetoed one of the later Wee Free Men books where an irate father beats his pregnant daughter until she miscarried. Clearly this isn’t spelt out but I wasn’t going there at 9 and I was startled to remember it because the series is ‘for younger people’. But if he picked it out to read to himself I would simply suggest he left it a few years and he would very likely do so.

I was book shamed for having a copy of Forever in my school bag when I was about 10...
Naturally it belonged to a friend and I just had it in my bag.

I was offered Mills & Boon as a more respectable alternative. I declined.

I didn't know this was even a thing. DC can read whatever they like.

I absolutely would not let a 10 year old read Stephen king!
at age 10 I was reading Agatha Christie. She wrote 100s of books that kept me well occupied for a few years until I branched into the likes of King.
see also georgette heyer and authors like that. Murder and mystery but no excessive graphicness or swearing
i also really liked the goosebumps books, not sure if they are still going

Errrr... what?

By whom?

Had they ever read Forever? Had they ever read any M&B?

My now 12yo was quite disturbed by a book with a sexual assault in it that she read age 10 or 11. It was a children's book aimed at her age group and I had read the back cover but not the whole thing. I had to throw it away because she didn't even want to see it on her bookshelf any more so I can't remember the name. However I do think it's appropriate to vet books at this age and to at least warn them about the content when they're a bit older so they can make an informed decision.

My mother took Imogen (Jilly Cooper) off me when I was 13 (my big sister read it and told me how it ended ).

And the librarian wouldn't let me take out a biography of Lord Byron at around the same time (I had encountered him in my parents' Georgette Heyer collection). I was steered instead to a biography of someone else, entirely unrelated to my interests. Then I got a biography of Edward VII in my stocking... never actually read it, I was so pissed off. Might have found out a few things my parents hadn't thought of.

I did try to dissuade S1 from LoTR when he was 7, solely because I (a much better reader) had given up on it when I was 11. He was having none of this and read the whole thing. Round about the same time as Deathly Hallows.