Adam Kay's This is Going to Hurt

[musicalfrog]

I haven't even finished the book yet but I'm getting more and more annoyed with him the further in I go. I didn't mind him initially but then the more he progresses in his career the more insufferable he gets!

Is he really such an arrogant *** or is he just writing for laughs? Whichever, I'm glad he's not a practicing doctor now, but unfortunately I recognise his attitude in a couple of doctors I had the misfortune to encounter during my first birth experience.

Just wondering if anyone else had the same reaction as me? I've not seen him on TV or anything, the book is all I have to go on.

Oh, and Mumsnet gets a mention a few chapters in!

I’m so glad to have found this thread. I used to be a big fan of the ‘Amateur Transplants’ - their song, ‘Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin’, really amused me as a junior doctor. I went to see them in concert a few times, but on the last occasion, I think it was at the Underbelly back in around 2008 (wow, where has that time gone?!), I left feeling really uncomfortable. From what I remember, that concert ended up being Adam performing solo (Suman was busy/away/ill). He seemed pretty inebriated, and song after song was loaded with degrading attacks on women. It wasn’t dark humour, it was just dark and horrible, and the idea that he was an obs and gynae trainee made me sick. I’ve found some lyrics, but I think the live ones were even worse:

Northern birds
Are lazy, ugly wh*s who
Smell of burgers
So don't have too much to drink
Or you might f** one
And end up getting AIDS

Nothing at all
When we went back to mine I was up for a shag
In the bedroom I realise you're a dumpy old slag
Your pubes reach your navel and they cover your thighs
Didn't know they made arses that size

Couples Counselling B
You never ever clean flat
You've always asked me if your arse looks fat
You ask me that
Does your arse look fat wearing this dress
Yes
That's why I beat you up!

I haven’t read the book as I can’t stand him, but I am always pretty pee’d off to see how successful he’s been without having to answer for any of the things he’s said. He’s been adopted by twitter and the media as a general all-round good guy - he’s supposedly funny, educates children, all while raising money and advocating for the NHS (although I’d bet he’s made an absolute heap of money for himself from his books and tours). Given the things that some other people have been ‘cancelled’ for, I’d be happy to see him become problematic and quietly shuffled off to the side never to be seen or heard from again.

Some of these accounts (particularly from docs/nurses) really remind me of the TV series 'Bodies', particularly the doctor played by Keith Allen; can't remember his name but (like this book) I would advise against anyone reading /watching it if they're pregnant or due to give birth soon and already an anxious person.

Nothing good will come of it I promise you (!)

@ThePawtriarchy, yes to both of your questions. I can understand how a layperson might view some of the book as misogynistic, but don’t view it that way myself. The book, to me, speaks volumes about how the NHS is a brutal institution in which to work, and slowly dehumanises many of its staff, and ill prepares medical students for life as a doctor. At least, the poor training in emotional handling of trauma was the case at the time he, and I were trainees.
The NHS itself gaslights staff, to the point that a really poor standard of care for patients and staff has become acceptable. This, and the lack of control we have to change this, leads to the dark humour in some, as a coping mechanism.
And yes, as far as birth plans go, I have seen more psychological harm from suggesting to women that whatever is written in them can be predicted, or even adhered to, in an obstetric emergency. That just isn’t the case most of the time. And I hate that women are then belittled or ignored for the consequent trauma they and their families experience.
Again, this is only my experience, and I appreciate it may not be the case for others.

I don’t have experience of Adam Kay’s stage act and the lyrics above sound bloody horrendous, I have to say

[quote quince2figs]@ThePawtriarchy, yes to both of your questions. I can understand how a layperson might view some of the book as misogynistic, but don’t view it that way myself. The book, to me, speaks volumes about how the NHS is a brutal institution in which to work, and slowly dehumanises many of its staff, and ill prepares medical students for life as a doctor. At least, the poor training in emotional handling of trauma was the case at the time he, and I were trainees.
The NHS itself gaslights staff, to the point that a really poor standard of care for patients and staff has become acceptable. This, and the lack of control we have to change this, leads to the dark humour in some, as a coping mechanism.
And yes, as far as birth plans go, I have seen more psychological harm from suggesting to women that whatever is written in them can be predicted, or even adhered to, in an obstetric emergency. That just isn’t the case most of the time. And I hate that women are then belittled or ignored for the consequent trauma they and their families experience.
Again, this is only my experience, and I appreciate it may not be the case for others.[/quote]
Thank you, I really appreciate the thorough response. What I think I was uncomfortable with in Kay’s book though is part of what you’re saying, ‘that women then are belittled or ignored for the consequent trauma’. It sounds like it’s not surprising given the training and environment for doctors, but it makes a hard read in a lauded book.

I thought it was an awful book, sneering, misogynistic and not in the least bit funny.

Plenty of women writing birth plans know they can’t predict exactly what will happen (and so much of writing a plan IS to consider different eventualities and emergencies so it isn’t all a big shock if it doesn’t go straightforward) and writing one can help them feel in control and informed in different scenarios.

I totally agree that if women have been led to believe they can predict exactly how their birth will go if they write a plan and to ignore any notion of complications that can arise then that it is going to be a huge disservice to them and potentially worsen trauma. However, I think the answer is to support women to make plans that do consider different eventualities and emergencies that can occur, rather than using them as an example of why all birth plans are pointless and harmful.

IIRC there was one bit in the book where Kay rolls his eyes at the idea of presenting different options to patients and letting them make decisions. He says that he will decide the best option and present this to the patient and that their ‘choice’ is whether or not they take that or nothing. I thought that was very interesting to read, particularly post the Montgomery court case on informed consent in obstetrics.

@ThePawtriarchy, no problem. I really do think, though, that if he was a misogynistic arse, in medicine for the money/recognition/ power over women in O&G, he would still be a doctor. It seems to me that he left because he cared, and recognised what an unhealthy life he was in, for him and patients.

If you watch Bodies (and do brace yourself), he does heartbreakingly show a case where a birth went horribly wrong, ruining the life of everyone in the family. It’s so accurate, I find it really difficult to watch. Also plenty of dark stereotypes too!

He thinks women are stupid because they assume the stuff in their birth plan will happen, like our tiny little minds cannot comprehend that it isn't the case.

I just don't w liege any woman thinks that her birth plan is set in stone - and having a birth plan should never be blamed for shitty support afterwards and trauma experienced. IME women are traumatised after birth due to bad support and dismissive HCP's, not their birth plan

*believe not w leige

Re this lyrics:

Northern birds
Are lazy, ugly wh*s who
Smell of burgers
So don't have too much to drink
Or you might f** one
And end up getting AIDS

Nothing at all
When we went back to mine I was up for a shag
In the bedroom I realise you're a dumpy old slag
Your pubes reach your navel and they cover your thighs
Didn't know they made arses that size

I have to say, and have said for a long time that there does seem to be a misogynistic side to many gay men - they are very keen to express how much women's bodies disgust them. If it's not misogyny, why else does a gay man sing songs about being repulsed by sexual experiences with women?

@ThePawtriarchy

Just to add - he made it clear that they call Obstetrics Twats and Brats in medical school - and like I said, I get the dark humour but his attitude added the misogyny to go along with it.

Runts and cunts in NE England.

He's made a lot of money out of other people's pain and tragedy.

Enjoyed the book! Terrific sense of humour. And he honestly laid it bare what is it like to be a junior doctor and how really overworked and bureaucratic NHS system is.

I believe, with the situations doctors deal with they do have to find sense of humour and cynicism to stay sane.

If you think This Is Going to Hurt was full of misogyny, wait till you try Twas the Nightshift Before Christmas.
He's a complete arse. His hatred for women shines through on every page. When he isn't "fucking this" and "fucking that" he's "cocks, dicks, tits and shits" because he somehow, despite (presumably) not being 14, thinks by using those words he's hilarious.
His most despicable anecdote, he saves for his geriatric patients though.
As I said in my Goodreads review about him, "I'd say don't give up the day job, but that ship's already sailed, and at least women can choose now to cross the street if they see you coming rather than be subjected to your fnar-fnaring behind their backs.
Nasty nasty man.

@KarensChoppyBob

What a male specimen eh? They're normally the type to create lyrics like that. Those Adonises.

I pretty much read that book in one afternoon while fairly inebriated on holiday and though there was some humour I remember cringing more than once e.g. the sponge/vagina thing. Vile.

Hahaha! Glass houses, stones springs to mind.

I wonder what the equivalent for men’s health is.

i believe, with the situations doctors deal with they do have to find sense of humour and cynicism to stay sane

Well yes, but they don't need to publish a book on it, it's different to talk amongst colleagues to help deal with a shift or whatever, it's quite another to write a book, making £££ off writing about women in the way he did.

When I worked for the NHS doctors, nurses and other HCPs were pushed to breaking point pretty much every day. We all managed to not be revolting sexists sneering and laughing at patients though.

I think I’m going to have to read this, but it sounds revolting. I might see if the library has a copy so I don’t have him make a profit from me.

It always used to be the case that women who were sex workers would use a sponge when on their periods (I used to do some voluntary work) - has he considered how desperate she must have been? Sigh.

I’m not sure from what’s been said here that it is funny. I’ve noticed with some comedians and even some people their ‘humour’ is to be as shocking and daring as possible but that in itself isn’t funny.

I thought Joanna Cannon's Breaking and Mending memoir of her time as a junior doctor was much better, far more realistic and honest.

I am not a medic but have some semi-medical training, and agree that this book reflected the harsh nature of reality. You need a dark twisted sense of humour to handle life and death matters every day. I would have to seriously water down my autobiographical experiences to make them palatable for the general public!
I do think he despairs of human nature sometimes, as do I in my job, it's just that because he works in gynae most of the humans he encounters are women, not that he is misogynistic per se. He was just as disparaging about the men (guy who sustained penis injuries on a night out for example...)

I do get the "black humour" thing with certain professions, absolutely.
But when you come away from reading something that only makes you glad to have never experienced a person like this yourself, as a female patient, but leaves you wondering if all HCPs feel the same about their patients, and if they do, what a sad and shameful indictment of their profession that is, and more than anything else to think about the elderly, and possibly frightened women who have been at the mercy of this man, not realising how he was going to enjoy mocking them afterwards- then something has gone way way beyond "black humour".
Having now seen the stuff about the songs- this man needs to be "cancelled" as soon as possible.

I couldn't stand it. I found the tone very unpleasant and his attitude towards patients and fellow HCPs was very condescending.

Awful misogyny.

Made me want to give birth as far away from doctors as possible.