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IS ANYONE HERE IN A BOOK CLUB/ READING GROUP?

30 replies

ForeverReading · 27/04/2019 16:01

Not shouting just asking.

I recently went to a reading group and came away feeling it wasn't what I expected. Nice friendly people, ,meeting in a cafe round a big table, some people ate and drank.

The main reason is they allow a choice of books each month, which means out of the group not everyone has read the same book.

Equally, the group founder doesn't have any agenda - ie questions- so it becomes a general chit-chat with the people sitting nearest to you. (So it's a bit hit and miss who has read what and how much they want to discuss the book.)

I had imagined everyone would read the same book and there would be a more 'formal' chat where we discussed the book.

Not quite sure if it's my thing, so are some reading groups run differently?

OP posts:
Usuallyinthemiddle · 27/04/2019 16:07

We discuss one book. Chosen on Rota. We also discuss lots of other things! But many years in we've become good friends.
I do like the idea of simply discussing what you've all been reading separately too though. Sounds interesting.

RelaisBlu · 27/04/2019 16:10

In my experience it's more usual for one book to be read by everyone and then discussed in the next session. In the ones I have been part of, people generally take it in turns to choose the book. My favourite was a "Fiction Into Film" group where we discussed books and their screen adaptations. All the groups I have been part of took place in people's houses, not in a cafe

ForeverReading · 27/04/2019 16:23

Thanks

I felt what was missing was the group founder controlling the meeting. It was a big group of around 15 and a lot of people were talking about personal interests etc rather than the book.

I imagined there'd be some of that but more of 'Right everyone, should we discuss this book, who liked it, who didn't, plot, characters etc'.

OP posts:
VictoriaBun · 27/04/2019 16:35

I run one. There are usually around 10 of us at any one time. At the beginning of the year we meet up and discuss which books we will read. We meet up monthly and for a couple of hours. The first 15-20 minutes is a general chit chat and a catch up . We then discuss the book, what we enjoyed/ didn't enjoy, the author, the era, the characters etc . I will often have checked out the author to see if they have wrote any other titles that I think we may enjoy and will pass on details. I feel I am there to ensure that everyone has an equal opportunity to discuss the title as with any group you have ' stronger ' personalitiesConfused. We have been going at least five years so it works for us.

mamaduckbone · 27/04/2019 21:01

My book group is a group of existing friends so sometimes it does veer more into a general catch up, but we do all read the same book and discuss it, and the rule is that whoever hosts (we take it in turns to go to each other's houses) chooses the next book and everyone has to at least attempt to read it.

ForeverReading · 28/04/2019 09:45

Thanks for all the comments.

I'm unsure whether to stick with the group. Joined it to try to get out more and make some friends, but also for some intellectual stimulation! I don't feel I can make suggestions as I'm new to it and it's an established group. But the idea of having several books to read each month ( and choosing one or more, each) seems odd.

I think I'd rather there was an annual list, or each person suggested a book each month.

OP posts:
TheBulb · 28/04/2019 10:03

Start your own, Forever? Yours does sound unsatisfactory.

MaidenMotherCrone · 28/04/2019 10:39

We have one at work...... except we haven't discussed a single book! It's a secret gin drinking club. Grin

We meet up once a month, get sloshed and have a giggle. 5 members and we never have to invite/put up with non likeminded colleagues.

Best. Book club. Ever.

ForeverReading · 29/04/2019 16:15

Thanks all.

OP posts:
Clawdy · 29/04/2019 23:02

I think my group is fairly typical. There are eight of us, we meet every month and take turns to choose a book and host the meeting, in our houses.If it's your turn, you provide wine and crisps. It's worked well for us, it's been over ten years now.

Aimily · 29/04/2019 23:08

I'm part of a book club, we are currently working through the library book list at the moment. I'm struggling as there is a continued theme of death and depression atm and I'm getting bored. We all read the same book, I can't imagine having a few different books in the go at the same time...

Our group founder tends to pull a selection of 10-15 questions off the internet and she keeps a structure around those questions but we discuss a lot more than just those.
Fingers crossed the next book is enjoyable, I'm not a huge fan of romance novels, but I wouldn't mind a Danielle Steel or Barbara Cartland for a change 😂

SwedishEdith · 01/05/2019 21:31

I went to a book group much like you describe, OP.

Totally unfocussed with too many people and no idea by the leader on how to run it or pick books. There were no prepared questions in case to get the conversation started. I should have been warned as the 1st book was Girl on a Train. They did get an author to come to a few meetings which I did enjoy but the general, "Oh, I liked/hated this" quality of the talk put me off.

I was in another that was in the host's house and host picked which can work well.

I've realised I can be a slow reader at times and really resent reading books other people have chosen that I think are crap. Grin And I think 6 is about the optimum number.

JoyceDivision · 01/05/2019 21:36

Ours was disbanded, lots of grumbling dhs dreading what would arrive home hours after book club....when I threw a cake at my friend and threw up on myself in the shower in the morning it signalled the end.Grin

Bookworm4 · 07/05/2019 22:47

I'm in a book club; we hire a meeting room in local hall, someone chooses a book each month, at the meet up the next person to choose provides cakes/biscuits and does the tea/coffees. We have read a wide variety of books and have great discussions.
The person who chose the book makes up a question/points list to discuss, definitely need structure to be successful.

MealyPotatoes · 13/05/2019 11:52

I’ve been in a reading group for about 13 years. We are a group of about a dozen old friends anyway and we all read a lot. We take turns choosing books but only a couple of people host as their houses are big enough. We usually start by chatting about ‘the book’, then have plenty of good tucker half way through the evening and after quickly mention anything else we might have read that others might be interested in, before the chooser announces what the next book is and we set a new date. I always look forward to our get togethers. We have read so many fab books over the years.

HappydaysArehere · 24/05/2019 08:38

I have thought about joining one but what stops me is the idea that I have to read a particular book while I am longing to get on with another. Also, if they choose one I have read I would probably have to reread it to recall it in the detail necessary for a discussion.

BogstandardBelle · 30/05/2019 19:01

M’y sister and I are in two very different ones.

Mine has around 14 members, but only 8-9 come regularly (we are mostly expats and they do tend to move on!). I am the newest member. It’s invite-only to join - and it’s quite hard to break in as the club has existed for over 20 years, with at least 1-2 founder members still there! So they are very close and have supported each other through cancer, divorce, bereavement, depression and more. But they’ve made me feel very welcome, and it helps that I joined with a couple of friends. We meet once a month and take turns to host, it’s always a potluck dinner (we eat very late). The host draws up a list of books for us to choose from, usually with a theme, and we vote. The winning book is discussed in two months time. We always make time to discuss the book, and the discussions are lively without being particularly literary. Much wine is drunk. We often meet up for lunch / cinema outside our meetings, and we even go away for a weekend every year together.

My sisters, on the other hand, is completely different! 4-5 members max, they meet in a pub back room, they never see each other outside the meetings. There’s one male member: my sister and her friend think that he’s gay, but don’t know as he’s never mentioned a partner ;-) . They all have PhDs at least in literary subjects and they take their book choices / discussions very seriously.

daducky88 · 30/05/2019 21:06

Ooh i like the sound of your club. I find reading other peoples recommendation a bit hit and miss but getting an insight into the quality of the books subject from another reader is a good guide as to whether a book may/ may not interest me. But its precisely because i dont to read a book which everyone is expected to have read that i havent joined a book club.

daducky88 · 30/05/2019 21:35

Can you name your favourite 3 books/ authors and why you liked them in distinguishing terms?

Eg
Thus Spake Zarathustra( philosophy) Nietzche - i love this book, read when i was young and found unlike other philosophers' works readily accessible as its write as novel about a travelling philosopher and his musings and railings and exploits. There are a few great poems in it as well. As an example:

Lately oh life i looked in your eyes
And saw gold glittering there
...
Unlike other philosophers, although bearing some parallels with a peer Wittgenstein, Nietsche the author impatient with classical displays of abstract deductive brilliance, infects his works with that of a first person singular addressing the reader directly. How close Zarathustra is to Nietzche is a bit mystery to me, but i imagine Nietzche also to be a sort of impatient raging enthusiast.

Narziss and Goldmund (fiction) -Herman Hesse. The characters are sensitively displayed. One a contemplative monk. The other a carouser, gambler and womeniser. The two old school friend, lives cross now and then and time is spent with both in their separate lives and meetings. If i recall correctly, the last words Narziss the monk i think, said of his friend, Goldmund were ( you 'll have to read it ;-) ) but they hint at the regret of the monks isolaton from society compared his adventuring friend and sinner. And he asks himself who was the more virtous, a man locked away from temptation. Or a man steeped in it.

Paul Bowles eg Let it all come down, under a sheltering sky etc
Bowles writes fiction re americans naievely going to far. And the consequences.The books evoke the spirit of the locations and interactions, whuch are often surprising but well written including the characters' flaws.

daducky88 · 30/05/2019 22:44

Hi aimily

Barbara cartwheel Grin gave bought and gave the field my school sits on. The road which runs along side is named after her. There is a nice mid sized geavy set red brick house with various juts and bulges in the walls.

Deathraystare · 31/05/2019 08:34

Forever Reading - sounds like my bookclub! They are all my friends and we get on very well. I guess it would be better if we all read the same book at the same time, but we don't. We all chose a book and pass them round if they are not got from the library/Kindle/Audio etc.

It is a bit chaotic but then we are! One of us has had eye surgery so not reading at the mo. One regularly nags the others then admits she hasn't read the books herself!

We are meeting today in a cafe. We normally chat about other things then just before we go remember to mention if we read a book or not/mention next date to meet/suggest what books to read next!

No one gets hurt so it is fine in my book! I don't always buy their choice if I know I will not like it. Phillipa Bloody Gregory etc etc. We do read an enormous variety of different types - Me and another like SF, I also love a gorey murder, political intrigue etc etc.

Deathraystare · 31/05/2019 08:36

OH and unless it was a really intriguing read that we feel needs questioning we rarely 'discuss' in such a way. We used to give marks out of 5 but seem to have stopped doing that.

Yes I know - not like a 'proper' book club at all but we enjoy it!!!

EssentialHummus · 31/05/2019 08:44

Ithey allow a choice of books each month*

Eh? So one person mentions that they enjoyed the characterisation in War and Peace and the person next to them says they felt the same about the Star Trek fan fiction they read??!

I’m in a group of 4 that meets in a pub. It’s ok. I enjoy that the others are at different life stages to me, it was a real tonic when dd was a newborn and the rest of my social interactions were about poo and silicone teats.

BogstandardBelle · 31/05/2019 10:47

We do have a secretary, she organised the dates / hosting rota etc, and during the event she’ll keep us on track so that we actually manage to discuss, then vote on the next book.

@essentialhummus
Same for me. I’m the youngest member, and my children are by far the youngest. It’s really interesting having a group of friends with children who are at uni / working / married / having children - my kids are only 11 and 8 so I am far from these stages.

Deathraystare · 02/06/2019 09:26

True to form we met up on Friday and managed not to mention a book once! We did agree to meet again (some are seeing each other next weekend but I will be seeing my little bro' getting married), we have also been asked to get the next book titles in.