I don't want to ruin every book you're going to read from now, but have you noticed they all have the word

[Cify]

Detritus.... in therm?

And now I've noticed it I can't stop seeing the word in everything I read.

And yet I've never heard a single friend complaining about the detritus in their kitchen.

Please tell me I'm not alone? Do you notice certain words or phrases (that people don't actually say in real life) being used over and over again in novels?

Perhaps I notice it because I detest feet, but so many writers are obsessed with talking about them. It's like a filler. When there's a lull in the story they start talking about what their character's toes are doing or that they're barefoot. I don't care! Enough already.

Has no editor ever explained to Jilly Cooper that 'evidently' doesn't mean exactly what she thinks it means and 'apparently' would be better 99 times out of the many hundreds of times she used it in every single book?

While we're discussing cliches why do characters who want to escape their dark past, always retire to tiny islands or remote rural or Coastal villages with about a population of 50? If you want to go unnoticed surely they're the last places you'd move to?

And why, when the villain has tracked them down, do they always head for the cliffs when you can guarantee that at least one of them is going over them?

Oh, to go along with scraping hair into ponytails, people often skewer their hair with pins.

Thank goodness someone mentioned Cooper and Trollope.

After I’d padded downstairs barefoot this morning I remembered to lean against the comforting warmth of the Aga as I sipped my cup of scalding hot tea.

You have to blow on the steaming hot tea too and watch the tendrils of steam

Damn!
You’re right @Stealth!

Now I’ll have to pad off all over again......

I gave up on one author because of his overuse of 'crimson' . The crimson fluid flowed, the gush of crimson, a tide of crimson. It was blood ffs just say it!! Also 50 shades and all that murmuring Couldn't get past the first few chapters on that one - not that I missed out there.

@Halsall That's one of my fave meal deal combos right there

This thread is hilarious.

I can't stand it when the female character is on her way out for the night and she just puts a touch of concealer and a bit of colour on her lips before going out.

Fuck off !!!! If she's anything like me she'll be using a trowel to apply concrete foundation to her face before using every other scrap of make up I can find just to look presentable

DoAsYouWouldBe LOL I'm partial to a chicken'n'ham lattice myself

I just tried to apply a slick of lipstick. Roughly 20% of my lips have lipstick on. The rest of my lips are lipstick less. I don't think I am slicking right

Slicking is definitely an art in itself , I think only heroines in books know the secret.

The people with a dark past who escape to a remote community always have a child, or children, who they rarely see, and/or who have a disability. We're always supposed to feel sorry for them that they fucked off to the the remote community leaving their ex in the lurch hundreds of miles away.

@Izzy24

I’m on page 429 of these proofs now.

‘Walter’s eyes narrowed’

and then

‘Walter’s face stiffened’ (this is in response to unwelcome news)

I went through a phase of reading books which featured the use of 'palimpsest' as a metaphor. Rather a lovely word, and can be a good metaphor, but one you want as a rare treat.

Halsall, AlistairAppletonssexyscarf Yes! I love Marian Keyes but she's ruined leather jackets for me as I've never found one I like as much as her description of one in Last Chance Saloon

I got a bit upset this evening and realised I had hot tears coursing down my cheeks...😂

Just remembered another -
Used to read a lot of Karin Slaughter but every female lead is the same! Damaged woman, mystery past, strong man has to save her blah blah too predictable and cliche overload.

I’ve also noticed recently a lot of eyes literally flashing or darkening. That isn’t a thing that can happen, authors, outside of fantasy. Stop it.

I haven't noticed a lot of detritus, but I have just finished a book with a lot of padding around, which was fine because the person doing the padding was a werecat

Ooh what is the book?

Great thread.

I'm on the fence about the flashing eyes. I mean, obviously they don't flash in real life, like a flashing light, but I have seen people do a split second 'thing' that I think is what authors use the 'flashing' to try to convey. Usually if someone has been caught out in a lie, and you can see it in their eyes very briefly before they compose themselves and try to excuse it.

Agree that the flashing eyes is very overused in fiction though.

Anybody who thinks that flashing eyes don't exist should watch Captain Hook in Once Upon a Time. He does a great line in flashing his eyes and clenching his jaw, and it does make me swoon a little.

All this talk of flashing eyes has given me a G&S ear worm http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/britisht.htm - damn you!