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Original poster

I have just read possibly the worst book in the world

570 replies

Mrsrobertduvall · 13/04/2012 17:50

A Cold Season by Alison Littlewood.
Disclaimer...I bought it in Smith's on a buy one get one half price, and grabbed it as the cover looked good.
It's about a mother and son marooned in a small Lancashire village with unfriendly locals...a bit Wicker Man-ish. And of course there are witch/devil undertones.
It is utter tripe.
It is now in the charity shop for some poor sod to buy.

OP posts:
NoraHelmer · 14/04/2012 14:08

I've been lurking on this thread :o. I completely agree with you Anxious about the Esther Freud novel - Lucky Break. I read it and, like you, thought it was a nothing book. I felt bad about not liking it because Esther Freud came across as such a lovely person when she was on MN for her chat last month.

I tried reading The Da Vinci Code and got about 200 pages into it and flung it away in disgust - awful book. Can't think why it took me 200 pages to discover that :o.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake - well that was a weird one. Characters turning into furniture huh? Not one I'd want to read again. Nor will I want to read One Day again, which I bought just to see what all the fuss was about (wish I hadn't bothered).

I've decided life's too short to struggle through to the end of books I'm not enjoying, so the charity shop will be getting a big donation from me soon :o.

Columbia999 · 14/04/2012 14:24

I hate "Her Fearful Symmetry" with a passion, even though I've never read it, but the poncey title makes me want to smack the author. Angry

startail · 14/04/2012 14:45

Another one here who wouldn't reread Lord of the Flies even if I was paid!

AnxiousPanxious · 14/04/2012 14:50

Nora I think I decided it just wasn't for me, that prose style isn't what I like to read. (Lucky Break I mean.) I'm reading or have read books mentioned on this thread and I totally love them and am moved by the descriptions and transported to other lives etc etc. Maybe I like a bit of floweriness Grin
Esther Freud was on a doco about her dad and she seemed so lovely, I cried actually Blush
And I'm sorry to have put that book next to Labyrinth, which was absolute crud.

nkf · 14/04/2012 14:57

Some truly great books have ended up on this thread. Jane Eyre? Far from The Madding Crowd? Middlemarch? All wonderful.

stubbornstains · 14/04/2012 15:01

The Celestine Prophecy. Appalling, sloppy woo bollocks dressed up as some kind of crap adventure story. I threw it off a Greek ferry.

Agree with "The Island"- I think we know who has the brains in the Hislop household, and it ain't Victoria...

I actually really liked "Kevin", but agree that "The Post Birthday World" is a crock of shite....the love interest is a snooker player, ffs.

LineRunner · 14/04/2012 15:04

I have the Celestine Prophesy in a pile of unreads books for desperate times. Straight to the charity shop, then?

stubbornstains · 14/04/2012 15:06

Don't even pollute the charity shop with it, Line Runner Think of the poor unwary soul who might pick it up. In the absence of the Mediterranean, could I suggest the recycling box/ using it to light the barbeque?

Abcinthia · 14/04/2012 15:09

Yes yes to whoever mentioned Dean Koontz. I read one of his books recently and it was AWFUL. There was a smilie that went along the lines of, "He felt like a weasel but like a weasel in rehab." I woke up DP just so I could read it to him and laugh. Not even to mention his habbit of using a word and then defining it in the next sentance.

Kate Mosse is also awful. I read Labyrinth then went and read Winter Ghosts which is even worse than Labyrinth.

Ian McEwan is rubbish as well. I am never EVER going to read another one of his novels. Studying Atonement and Enduring Love in Literature was more than enough for me.

tribpot · 14/04/2012 15:10

A weasel in rehab is going into my list of phrases to try and work into meetings.

LineRunner · 14/04/2012 15:13

tribpot, I am saving, 'As bad as the Celestine Prophesy' for Monday morning now.

LineRunner · 14/04/2012 15:14

stubbornstains, I bought it (the Celestine Prophesy) in a charity shop. I was that poor unwary soul.

MirandaGoshawk · 14/04/2012 15:14

Now there's a challenge! It's in my 'to read' pile. I bought it recently (on sspecial for WHS) because of all the rave reviews & the cover says it's good Hmm Sorry for being stupid

I would like to second Victoria Hislop but for The Return. So, so tedious that when the characters die you are relieved, not saddened. Story doesn't add up. And getting through it was a real trial.

Also Kate Atkinson. I was given the Museum one & have tried twice to read it but gave up as too much effort too remember who was who.

Can I put in a good word for Dickens? I came across some of his non-fiction writing a few years ago, essays. They were very good, very funny & well-observed. Try A Christmas Carol. Read just the first few pages and I guarantee you will be drawn in. It's very creepy and perfect for winter late-night reading.

MirandaGoshawk · 14/04/2012 15:15
  • NB Xmas Carol is fiction.
LineRunner · 14/04/2012 15:16

Miranda, I've got the unread Kate Atkinson Museum one too. I once got to page 4. I just can't get the thought, 'What a load of old shit' out of my head as I'm trudging through the sentences.

FruitShootsAndHeaves · 14/04/2012 15:19

I read an awful book about cycling in the Tour De France I think it was.

It was just ride a bike a bit, have sex, ride a bike a bit, fall off, have sex, win, end

Awful

So awful I can't remember the title!

upahill · 14/04/2012 15:21

Re The Celestine Prophesy

Years ago when DS2 was a new born and you had to go and see the HV I went into the room and the HV was upset about something. She went through checks but started crying. I asked her what was up and she cried more ( something about restructure/bullying bosses) and she told me the Celestine Prohesy was getting her through her troubles - I have to say it didn't look like it was helping!
She told me to read this fantastic book.

I got it and I couldn't get past a few pages. i thought it was total shite but put it down to me having a three week old baby. I tried again when I found the book about 2 months ago and same result.
Serious question What is it about? I haven't a clue. HV was going on an=bout enlightment!

MirandaGoshawk · 14/04/2012 15:26

Linerunner Glad it's not just me! Life is too short for bad fiction. There's so much good stuff out there.

Can I recommend that no-one ever bothers with The Last Templar by can't remember Omar somebody I think. Also, surprisingly a Phillippa Gregory set in the modern day called Perfectly Correct. Awful. I loved The Little House, Boleyn Girl, but this was dire. Tedious, dated and distasteful.

MirandaGoshawk · 14/04/2012 15:31

Celestine Proph is about the fact that every chance encounter in your life is not 'chance' at all, but designed to help you on your path, if you recognise its potential. I do agree in that there are often opportunities that can be missed if we don't keep our eyes open or think of possible ways in which meeting someone/something happening could benefit us, (phew, still with me?)
BUT
the book makes something of significance out of Every Little Thing (Look! There's someone walking towards me! What does this mean for me?) that it gets a tad tedious.

upahill · 14/04/2012 15:33

Ah!!! Thanks for that - now I know what the HV was rambling on about.
I must say it was a bit of an uncomfortable moment!!

singingmum · 14/04/2012 15:38

The colarado kid by stephen king. Read it because I enjoy the tv series haven and wanted to read book it kept saying it was based on. I can't bring myself to read a stephen king novel now as it was a load of badly written drivel. Why do people rave about his work? Do they just watch the films and pretend as this may be how I'm missing the point here(I actually haven't seen the movies either but it seems that its the only way anyone could like them)

upahill · 14/04/2012 15:40

I loved the Return!!
It gave me a lot of knowledge about the civil war in Spain and also introduced me to the works of Fredrico Garica Lorca

marshmallowpies · 14/04/2012 16:00

I love all Kate Atkinson's books but of the pre-Jackson books, Emotionally Weird was my favourite. The best of the Jackson Brodie books is the one with Reggie as she is just such a great character...I wanted her for my best friend by the end!

I love Esther Freud too but must admit the most recent books have not been as good as the rest & I haven't read Lucky Break as the thought of a book about actors just didn't inspire me! Her 2nd and 3rd books, Peerless Flats & Gaglow, are my favourites.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 14/04/2012 16:23

I've never even heard of, 'The Colarado Kid' and thought I'd read everything King's ever written. When he gets it right I think he's amazing, though he occasionally gets it v wrong (Needful Things, Dreamcatcher for example).

I've remembered another that I had great hopes for and ended up appalled by how badly written it was - 'Daphne' by Whatshername - is it Ruth Picardie or somebody else Picardie? The one who didn't die, anyway. Appallingly badly written, in awful meandering sentences with no internal punctuation. Are editors scared to actually EDIT nowadays?

GreatExpectations2012 · 14/04/2012 16:32

How did the weasel get into rehab in the first place?

I've just read The Slap, it was pretty bad. I quite liked One Day and recently heard David Nichols speak, he's vair nice. Starter for Ten was far superior, however, and despite his protestations, I'm sure it was at least partly autobiographical.

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