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I have just read possibly the worst book in the world

570 replies

Mrsrobertduvall · 13/04/2012 17:50

A Cold Season by Alison Littlewood.
Disclaimer...I bought it in Smith's on a buy one get one half price, and grabbed it as the cover looked good.
It's about a mother and son marooned in a small Lancashire village with unfriendly locals...a bit Wicker Man-ish. And of course there are witch/devil undertones.
It is utter tripe.
It is now in the charity shop for some poor sod to buy.

OP posts:
SpringHeeledJack · 02/05/2012 14:52

also have Alison Pearson and Indiahh Knight in my Guilty Pleasures category, but know in my heart of heart that they are utter bilge

Fireandashes · 12/05/2012 07:38

Back when I was still in my misguided "even bad books are books and therefore sacred" book-finishing stage, the worst book I ever read was The Temporary by Rachel Cusk. I actually threw it across the room in anger at its overwritten pretentiousness once. We had a Golden Retriever puppy at the time who had a tendency to chew books if left alone for more than a few minutes and even she wouldn't touch it.

Since then I have seen the light and realised life is too short to waste on bad books. I have Love in the Time of Cholera to thank for that epiphany. Three times I started it, three times I failed to get to halfway.

I had to study Wuthering Heights for A level and remember hating it but not being able to put my finger on why. Now I can see that all the characters are so unremittingly unlikeable and overwrought.

I could never get away with Dickens; all coincidence and melodrama (although I love Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City which are equally coincidental....go figure).

I enjoyed reading We Need to Talk about Kevin but oh my gods, the tennis book was just dire! I'm sure it's a very accurate portrayal of the self-centred ruthlessness of a certain type of sportsperson but it made for a turgid, depressing book full of characters I hated.

Finally - need to rein myself in here or I could go on all day - while I enjoy some chick-lit, including by some of those writers mentioned upthread such as Jill Mansell and Marian Keyes, there is a very small bonfire in Hell reserved for the work of Wendy Holden. Sub-sub-sub-Jilly Cooper, with stereotypes instead of characters, lazy slapdash writing and a bad pun for the title which she clearly came up with first and then wrote a (staggeringly unfunny) story to fit. I got not one but two of her meisterworks free with different magazines back in the day - that should have been warning enough.

Jux · 12/05/2012 17:23

Love the idea of a book too awful for even book-eating puppy to touch! I threw Quiet Belief in Angels across the room, but I have no book-eating pets so I'll never know how bad it really is! ( perhaps I should invest in some mice?)

macthecatsmum · 04/06/2012 19:42

D Vinci Code-threw it across the room at the awful writing. Twishite natch and the appalling-so bad its good horrible,fifty shades of feminism never happened.

hackmum · 06/06/2012 08:15

I have just read No 1 Ladies Detective Agency, several years after everyone else. It's awful. I have no idea why it became so popular. I think it must be one of those books enjoyed by people who don't normally read books.

mumblecrumble · 06/06/2012 08:27

I read lots of books and loved Ladies Detective.

Don;t be so judgemental..

Ah, I am on mumsnet.... forgot - seeyah

LeQueen · 06/06/2012 20:09

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LeQueen · 06/06/2012 20:19

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scottishmummy · 06/06/2012 20:20

ian maccoll
jodie picoult
martina cole
all howlers

GitAwfMayLend · 06/06/2012 20:26

Grrr Jodie Piccoult.

Mind you I only read one - but thought it was really manipulative and contrived. And all teh characters were annoying. i was glad when the kid snuffed it.

LeQueen · 06/06/2012 20:34

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GitAwfMayLend · 06/06/2012 20:43

Dean Koontz is such a schtooooopid name anyway. I refuse to read that on principle.

That Audrey Niffeneager (oh I know that I have got it wrong) and Her Fearful Symmetry. I read it first when on tramadol in hospital and really like it. Then I read it when not drugged up and thought it was an absolute bag of pretentiousand tiresome shite. There is a lesson there.

JulieBilly · 06/06/2012 20:54

I quite liked On Chesil Beach and The Slap...

Couldn't finish: Time Traveller's Wife (dross), Cloud Atlas (drivel), anything by Joyce Carol Oates (have tried a few of her novels and have never got more than a third of the way in), that God awful Girl with the dragon tattoo (predictable tosh).

Finished, but very disappointing: The Room, Great House by Nicole Krauss (she is really, really bad).

Finished, and absolutely gutted that I have wasted precious hours of my life doing so: All novels I have read by Martin Amis (WHY did I persist with him for so long? Utter wank!).

CoteDAzur · 06/06/2012 21:00

I haven't read the others, but Cloud Atlas most definitely is not drivel.

It is the sort of book that expects a certain level of familiarity with the many references the author uses (ex: If you have never read Nietzsche, you are not going to get the references to eternal recurrence) or the curiosity to look them up (ex: that quote from The Aeneid at the end of Frobisher's last letter).

CoteDAzur · 06/06/2012 21:06

Seriously, Atonement? The worst book in the world? Shock

Fine if you didn't like it, but surely you must have guessed from the worldwide acclaim it has received that maybe it's you who didn't get it?

scottishmummy · 06/06/2012 21:13

lol,touchy
atonemebnt is drudge, as was saturday
in fact mcewan is dreadful writer

FiftyShadesofViper · 06/06/2012 21:16

LeQueen, maybe Dean Koontz sex writing inspired the Fifty Shades of... books. I am bored of her orgasmic atoms exploding into the nothingness at the edge of the universe now.

I recently read a Lionel Shriver book about tennis players, it may have been called Double Fault but I can't be sure as my brain glazes over at the mere thought of it. Had I realised she also wrote the awful talk about Kevin book I would have avoided it and recommend you all do too.

scottishmummy · 06/06/2012 21:20

all these dire books will never get the time back
kevin,one dimensional tosh. esp the angst whats it all mean hand wringing that accompanied it

CoteDAzur · 06/06/2012 21:21

Maybe his books are a bit too hard for you. Try something easier. The important thing is to enjoy what you read Smile

scottishmummy · 06/06/2012 21:26

This reply has been deleted

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lifeistooshort · 06/06/2012 21:32

Any one mentioned Brick Wall or "this book will change your life yet"? so bad....

IAmSherlocked · 06/06/2012 21:34

I didn't enjoy Cloud Atlas but it's not too hard for me. I just didn't enjoy it. Sometimes - that's allowed, you know! Grin

scottishmummy · 06/06/2012 21:34

never heard of brick wall
plenty aye and no for books ive read though
funny how we can all be so polarised. im nodding and tutting

GnocchiNineDoors · 06/06/2012 21:41

The only 'chick lit' I can abide is Lucy Cavendish's "Samantha Smythe" stories (think there are three). I didn;t hold any hope on starting the first one but loved the fact that she called her DH "John the Second" even to his face, as her previous OH was also called John (John the First). She seemed like a Mumsnetter.

I didn't like Benjamin Button, tried forever and a day to read Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, and would quite happily live in a world where Marian Keynes and Jane Green did not exist.

Blush though I do like the odd Jodi Picoult (Plain Truth being my favourite as I loved the insight into the Amish world)

CoteDAzur · 06/06/2012 21:42

scottish - I'm not touchy, indignant, frothy, or any of the other strange insults you have thrown my way. You sound unhinged, though. Or possibly drunk.

It is just a book, not something I would be involved on a personal level. I'm only saying that there are some books on this thread that definitely don't deserve to be called "worst book in the world". You should know that already by the worldwide critical acclaim they have received.