18st 3lbs and Getting Married in 18 Months Time.. Help Me.

[SlimbobJones]

I've NC'd for this, new start and all that.

This is a massive cry for help, I'm completely broken and I'm not sure what I need from you, but help me :(

Last Christmas I weighed 19st 1lb, the heaviest I've ever been although I've never been under 15st. I'm 5ft 5. I'm 25 years old and have no children.

The photo is me at 19st vs me at my current weight, 18st 3lbs and I managed to shift that with weight watchers and keep it off mostly, although that was nearly a year ago now. The photo is just to illustrate how much of a problem I have on my hands more than anything.. I'm not shy about it, it's a body I feel completely disconnected from at this point.

I weight 18st 3lbs at the age of 25 and I'm getting married in 18 months time. I don't want to be uncomfortable on my Wedding day with everyone looking at me thinking "oh god isn't it a shame she's so fat"... the thought of that makes me feel physically sick.

SO I figure I've got 18 months now to turn my huge backside around.

Right now, my body fat percentage is 52.7%. I'm currently more fat than human.

I've re-signed up for weight watchers so I'm tracking my food, but my problem has and will always be binge eating. I can happily put away a tube of Pringles and half a pack of biscuits in 1 sitting.

How on earth am I going to do this?? When should I eat and what? There's just so much to get my head around I guess I just need some hand holding :(

If you're still with me after all that rambling, thank you. Sorry, and help :(

[Redken24]

agree with pp - cheese, spicy beetroot, oatcakes low fat philly (herby one yummy) carrot sticks hummus - these are good snacks. i used to eat a lot of pink lady apples for sweet and crunchy.
you will be soon a dabhand at what is ok for your diet - good luck you can do it!

[Sugarandsalt]

Congrats on your engagement! On January 1st this year I was 15st 12lbs, today I was 12stone 1lb, and hoping to end the year at 11st7 or so. I also have a poor relationship with food and have made a big effort to improve this as the year has passed. I've been using myfitnesspal and am on the very supportive MFP thread here.

[SlimbobJones]

Thanks everyone.

I was feeling so utterly shit about things when I first posted and you guys have made me realize this IS possible and I can do it if it's really really what I want.. which it is.

The food on the way home thing: Even if I don't have my purse I have always got my phone and have been known to use emergency cash transactions for KFC money

You'll notice I'm being brutally honest and matter of fact about my eating habits. Please don't interpret this as me thinking this is all normal, I know full well my relationship with food is ANYTHING but normal and I fully and completely recognize I have some serious issues to overcome, but being honest about it is the only way it's ever going to improve.

I like the idea of little rewards for myself whenever I complete a binge-free day, so tonight I'm going to tackle cravings by putting on a face pack and a hair mask and treating myself to a lovely hot bath after I've walked the dogs and done a bit of house work.

Any other little none-food ideas for mini treats?

[Sugarandsalt]

I reward myself with all sorts depending! Doing something with my hair, manicure, new clothes etc. I found that taking more interest in my appearance and striving to look better at the weight I was (even when I was almost 4stone heavier) made me feel better and work harder at weight loss.

I also strongly suggest taking measurements now and monthly. Sometimes the tape measure moves more than the scales and it's nice to see. My measurements have gone from 46-36-50ish to 37-28-42 and that is very motivating!

[Redken24]

second the tape measure ! Scales on certain times/days can be frustrating.

why not book massage, nails, brows - even hopi ear candling? Something that makes you feel great.

[Eolian]

I'd say top priorities are 1) resisting the temptation of any kind of silly, unrealistic, 'quick fix' diets and 2) stop buying the junk food.
Quitting the junk food might be easiest in that 'one day at a time' way which AA members seem to use to quit the booze. As in "I will not be buying junk today" rather than "I am not buying junk ever for 18 months " (which sounds too hard and will make you want to rebel).

[Popskipiekin]

I used to stop to buy junk food on the way home from work as I was so hungry due to sugar crashes - due to too much sugar during the day! I've gone cold turkey on added sugar at work (replacing with fruits and nuts) and it has made such a difference. I also try to make my journey home from work more entertaining as I think I was buying food out of boredom - or I try to build exercise into it by walking instead of public transport and I avoid the shops that way. I expect though that you have to use your car to get home (because if you could walk even part the way home this might help you in more ways than one) - could you download some podcasts or other things to listen to in the car? challenge yourself not to buy anything on the way home for just one week and see how you get on?

[SlimbobJones]

Eolian haha I agree totally!

I'm a complete nerd and love a bit of research, so I researched constantly before I started weight watchers all about diets and specific diets which I liked the look of.

I found 3 "golden rules" for long term weight loss that appeared all over the place and are about the only thing that's never been disproven: They are: 1. address why you're fat in the first place, 2. make meaningful and long term changes to your diet and 3. make food become fuel, not a friend. You can't do that with a short term plan or a fad diet, so to me that makes all the faddy diets pretty pointless. I'm logical to a fault

I eventually decided on Weight Watchers as my method for weight loss because it makes you accountable for what you eat because you have to track any food that's not free (helping with rule 2), gives you an allowance of food that you need to eat to stay healthy so you can't under eat and become hungry or over eat and binge (point 3) and it encourages you to address what makes you want to eat and encourages mindfulness around food (helping point 1). There's loads of plans which do this, but I like weight watcher's online interface and app the most and I like how it's not just based on calories.

Massive fan of your "1 day at a time" approach, I may start adopting that and have mini "whoop" moments throughout the day even. For example: getting home without stopping for snacks could be one, and going shopping without picking up junk. Going to bed having done the housework and walked the dogs could be another... staying on track for the whole day as another etc. If I hit all my "whoops", I get to treat myself with nails painted, facepack or whatever.

The eason I fell off the wagon last time was the dreaded "oh I ate a cake, fuck it. It's ruined and I'll be fat forever" mentality I seem to have

Why do I do that?

[Fitterbysixty]

I've lost 2.5 stone in 17 weeks. I bought an activity tracker to get me walking more, a new sports bra and started counting calories. The new me doesn't eat cheese in the kitchen straight from the fridge and can say no to cake. I would never have believed that it was possible for me to lose weight like this, the last time I tried it was an almighty struggle to lose the odd pound. This time round I have a smartphone which has given me all the tools that I didn't have before (MFP, Libra). I had a two year plan for getting down to being overweight but if I stay on track I'll be there by December (seven months). No diet, just smaller portions and more "or" and less "and". Wine or bread? Pudding or wine? Rice or naan bread?

I'd disagree about having a fat photo where you can see it - I think you need to feel good about yourself and what you are doing and need a positive focus rather than a negative. Have a photo of a wedding dress instead.

[Eolian]

I think almost everyone does that! I won't bore you with my weightloss history but the only time I have lost weight consistently and with not one 'cheat' was when I was medically unable to eat fat without being in unbelievable agony. Cheating just wasn't an option so I didn't. But you can't just invent a medical condition to force you to stick to a diet .

However much people WANT to lose weight, almost nobody can set diet rules and guarantee they will stick to them every day without fail for 18 months. You will have slip-ups. But what matters more - the 6 days of success or the one slice of cake when you slip up? That's why the one-day-at-a-time thing works. Lots of little successes outweigh the occasional error.

[Eolian]

Besides, it's relatively easy to tell yourself that your weightloss is more important to you than this one delicious bar of chocolate (apparently 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels'). It's not so easy to convince yourself that an amount of weightloss which you maybe can't yet even imagine achieving is more important than 18 whole months of resisting foods you crave. So short term goals are better!

[princessconsuelabannahammock]

I didn't lose 7st sadly I lost 4 but felt amazing. With the snacking thing - low carbing means you don't want to snack. Before my wedding if I wanted to eat junk I MADE myself go for my big walk - about 3 miles up some major hills, then if I still wanted it I could have it - I rarely did by that point! Should really take my own advice now however but I was really really focused and really really wanted it.

[BikeRunSki]

I have one of those low calorie hot when I crave something sweet. The Options or Highlights ones which are 40 cal per mug. (But don't cheat by piling up the spoonfuls).

[SlimbobJones]

I'm not a fan of the low carb option to be honest, all the research I've read says it's unsustainable and damaging long term, although there was a bit of research done on the modern British diet which suggested the average diet contains 3 times more carbs than is needed, so I guess low carb could just mean less carb?

I'm definitely low sugaring, smartpoints from WW naturally steers you towards low sugar anyway because anything with loads of sugar is crazy high in points. Lean protein is also low in points and it only takes into account saturated fats, so healthy fats arent penalized either. I'm aiming for more natural, less processed foods where I can too.

[Lorelei76]

OP this might not be for you but I started this thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/2688265-A-weight-loss-thread-for-just-eating-less

I'm losing very slowly but I thought you might be interested as I can't face low carb either, no way would I sustain it but also I am getting bloat when I have a protein based dinner!

[Maverick66]

Hi Slimbo,

I weigh 18.7 .
I am 5ft 6

I joined WW five weeks ago and have been smart pointing.
I have lost 6.5lb it has not been easy. I am disappointed at how slow my weight loss is but I am almost 50 so twice your age. I have never found it this slow to come off before so obviously age has a part to play.
I joined WW because things were getting more and more difficult for me for example.

I had aches and pains.
Permanent exhaustion .
Sweating
Sweat rashes and
General self loathing
I lost count of how many failed shopping expeditions I have had and have fallen into the comfortable fat girl uniform.
Comfy elasticated waists and maxi dresses for summer.
Just felt all round frumpy.
Crunch came after several interventions from family.
Then one evening my daughter said "you aren't happy you are always moaning" that was the wake up call.
I listened to myself over next few days and realised I was always moaning, making excuses and finding fault.

I have five family weddings over next 12 months and I thought get it together and do something about this weight so I joined WW.

It is TOUGH but what choice is there?
I can't go on feeling miserable.
I don't want to be Twiggy but I do want to be a comfortable acceptable size 18.

So I want to wish you luck.
I want to congratulate u on your up coming wedding.
I want to say do this for yourself to enjoy your wedding experience and have no regrets about weight.

We can do this Slimbo

[SlimbobJones]

Well, I'm at home and....

Junk food free! I didn't stop on the way home for the first time in 5 weeks

The dogs have been walked and I just finished eating dinner which was mackerel in chilli, soy and star anise with brown rice and veggies :) It was yummy and I'm feeling pretty satisfied :)

[onwego]

One day at a time. You can do it! You really can. But only if you take it one day at a time. You'll find all the support you need here. When you think about buying lots of junk food, read someone's weight loss success story. That will be you too. And if it hasn't been said before - be kind and gentle with yourself. You're about to do something which will take an awful lot of your will power, which will make you think about the decisions you've been used to making in a different way over and over each day, and will require you to take a different approach to your emotional relationship with food. It's a huge ask of yourself, but there's lots of us who have done it/are doing it/will always be doing it here.

Go for it!

[Eolian]

That's great! Maybe put a big tick on your calendar for each day you resist buying junk food? That way, once you've had a run of ticked days, you won't want to spoil your run with a no-tick day.

[SadSock]

Don't really have any advice to add but just wanted to say that from your posts OP you sound intelligent, well informed and determined. I believe that you can lose this weight for your wedding! Best of luck to you!

[Not2bObvious]

Can I suggest putting the money you would have spent on junk/takeaways in a savings box, in 18 months it would be a tidy sum (maybe for fabulous shoes for the wedding or even towards the honeymoon if you're feeling generous)
Well done for getting started, you sound very determined. If you have a slip up, chalk it up to experience & get back on it. You don't get 1 flat tyre & slash the other 3!

[PickAChew]

Yep all low carb does for a lot of people is reduce their calorie intake by removing a big chunk of once source of calories.

Cravings are best tackled by not having a supply of things you have a weakness for - so, for example, if mars bars are your downfall, don't but a pack of funsize ones and kid yourself you'll just have the one! For me, and a lot of people, I feel fuller when I get a decent amount of protein, fat and fibre. That simply didn't work for me on weightwatchers, so I'm counting calories using myfitnesspal, now.

And get into the habit of going for a good walk as many days as possible. If it works for you, you can save calories towards a bit more of a feast on a Saturday, or whenever you want to socialise. Getting fitter and stronger is the icing on the cake, there, of course!

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and good luck!

[Lorelei76]

Pick, in fairness I know a lot of people who really suit low carb and when I tried (briefly) I was told one of my mistakes was not replacing those calries. But there's a limit to how much protein I can face, frankly, so that's why I wouldn't do it, it's not so much that I'd even miss the carbs but I don't enjoy a big chunk of protein food, I always have a protein shake after a muscle workout because I find them nicer than a piece of fish or whatever.

I ended up having ham and potato salad tonight, have none of the bloat I had yesterday.

[PacificDogwod]

it's a body I feel completely disconnected from at this point.

Reading your posts, I think this is that crux of the matter.
You need to connect to your body again, rather than just see the extra pounds as ballast, and 'not human'.

I am about to go to bed, so I'll just leave this here - have a read.
Understanding why reducing empty carbohydrate intake makes a huge difference on how your body processes food and how your metabolism works, was a total epiphany for me. It is not no carbing (that is impossible anyway) and once you have kickstarted your weight loss or even when you have reached whatever size you want to be, things can easily be relaxed.

I have been doing a very vague form of reducing carbs for almost 2 years now and I cannot see myself going back to eating and binge eating like I did before. Easy weight loss while eating very delicious food - what's not to like?! It is entirely sustainable, and easily so (I cook for a family).

Of course you can do it, whether with WW or low carbing or smaller portion size or whatever - the above is simply what worked for me, but I think the science behind it is sound.

You need delicious, nutrient dense 'proper' food, rich in protein and fat, packed with vitamins and micronutrients.

Also, skew your body fat percentage by putting on muscle - walk, walk fast, take the stairs, get fitter. Muscle weighs more than fat, but looks less

[BlasianFashionista]

Have you considered weight loss surgery? Because I don't really see anything else helping you.

Low carb diets do work but as soon as you think it's safe to eat normally again, the weight comes back on.

Low calorie diets do work but it takes a lot of will power.

Good luck