18st 3lbs and Getting Married in 18 Months Time.. Help Me.

[SlimbobJones]

I've NC'd for this, new start and all that.

This is a massive cry for help, I'm completely broken and I'm not sure what I need from you, but help me :(

Last Christmas I weighed 19st 1lb, the heaviest I've ever been although I've never been under 15st. I'm 5ft 5. I'm 25 years old and have no children.

The photo is me at 19st vs me at my current weight, 18st 3lbs and I managed to shift that with weight watchers and keep it off mostly, although that was nearly a year ago now. The photo is just to illustrate how much of a problem I have on my hands more than anything.. I'm not shy about it, it's a body I feel completely disconnected from at this point.

I weight 18st 3lbs at the age of 25 and I'm getting married in 18 months time. I don't want to be uncomfortable on my Wedding day with everyone looking at me thinking "oh god isn't it a shame she's so fat"... the thought of that makes me feel physically sick.

SO I figure I've got 18 months now to turn my huge backside around.

Right now, my body fat percentage is 52.7%. I'm currently more fat than human.

I've re-signed up for weight watchers so I'm tracking my food, but my problem has and will always be binge eating. I can happily put away a tube of Pringles and half a pack of biscuits in 1 sitting.

How on earth am I going to do this?? When should I eat and what? There's just so much to get my head around I guess I just need some hand holding :(

If you're still with me after all that rambling, thank you. Sorry, and help :(

You definitely can't low carb and low fat at the same time, unless you live on egg whites! (not even the tasty bit of the egg!)

You are eating when you are not hungry. If you could get to the bottom of why you do that you won't need to diet. I don't mean this unkindly at all, are you eating your feelings?

Nowt like being defeatest there, Blasian.

18 stone is absolutely possible to come back from without life changing surgery. Not overnight, but it didn't go on, overnight.

Break it down into small chunks too. Join us on the '7lbs in september' thread which is soon to be replaced with an October version - at least then you only need to think about a month at a time, not the full 18!

Well done OP, keep up the good work one day at a time. I've done similar the Pacific with lower carb as opposed to low carb and find it works for me. The science does say it's basically calories in vs calories out, but that people with a higher protein intake feel less hungry so find it easier to regulate themselves.

If weight watchers suits you then that's great; the knowledge that you have an upcoming weigh in should be fairly motivating! Having done WW years ago (when I wasn't even overweight!) the only thing I can think is to avoid the trap of spending as little as possible on meals in order to maximise snacks (that's what I did!)- because that leads to really bad habits very easily! I'm sure there are WW support threads here which may be of help. I can strongly recommend MFP as an alternative/adjunct- we have a very supportive thread on here.

I have a colleague who lost nine stone btw and there's a poster around who I think lost ten. My colleague is now 50 ish and I think she said this was in her 30s.

it sounds like you're doing well op.

Blasian

You can do this OP, you've done brilliantly to address the problem so head-on and with such determination. Definitely join us on the 7lbs thread, we're a lovely lot!

My tip on cravings is to eat something else. Anything else. Whatever your brain is thinking about, whilst it's trying to process the carrot sticks, tin of tuna, whatever you're eating, it cannot physically accommodate a craving for something completely different. You need to have guilt-free things on hand to manage this, and don't tell yourself "nooo, you can't have Pringles, you have to have these carrot sticks instead": just look at it as "what we're doing right now is eating these carrots." Just put them in your mouth. I find it breaks the sort of "obsessive" cycle when you're craving something, and will make it easier for you to divert away from the craving.

I'll reply to everyone a bit later on but I just wanted to address BlasianFashionista and the question of weight loss surgery.

The short answer is yes, OF COURSE I've considered it just like every other morbidly obese person. We've all thought about it!

My conclusion was this: there are genuinely people in the world who cannot lose weight. They don't have the ability to alter themselves mentally to a point when weight loss is possible and there's a desperation there when mutilating yourself for life seems like the only option you have. It's not that there's anything weak or defeatist about these people, they are just wired up to believe it's there only hope because they feel like they've tried everything else. I am very very lucky that I'm not one of those people. Weight loss surgery is the last and only resort for a lot of people but I'm not one of them. Rightly or wrongly (I guess the proof is in the pudding!) I know in my rather large gut that I CAN do this naturally without surgery and the 'I WILL' part is going to happen one day at a time. :)

Lots of great advice here and I know you said you are doing WW but have you thought about doing the 5:2 diet?

Before I got pregnant, at my heaviest I weighed approximately 18st 12lbs!

Baby was born nearly 4 months ago (started 5:2 shortly after as couldn't BF anyway) and I weighed 15st 8lb this morning =)

With you saying you binge eat etc, it might be the diet for you because I'm not kidding...I've had Pizza, Macdonalds and Chinese all on this diet and still losing weight! It's a small sacrifice to make just to limit yourself for two days a week, that it never feels like I'm on a diet?!

Maybe look into it more if it could suit your eating habits?

You can do this Slimbob. I started Sw in February weighing 17st 6lbs and am now 13st. I didn't believe Id ever get this far and my goal feels achievable now.

Join SW op.

I've lost 4 and a half stone since I joined in April, and I was slightly heavier than you currently are. I've always been a binge eater, and as you have a lot of free foods, I've not felt the need to binge and have lost weight every week. You can still have the odd treat.

While WW Is good for restricting your food, it still gives the opportunity to eat lots of crap foods and still pointnthem, leaving you starving when you run out of points.

Thanks guys you are truly brilliant :)

Slimming World: I tried this a couple of years ago but I actually found it restrictive. I also binged on carbs more than ever because technically I was still on plan even if I ate my body weight in pasta .. which i did... OFTEN.

5:2: I've considered this for a while now, I like the idea of it in theory but in practice I'd definitely struggle to stick to 600cals 2 days a week. I'd also go completely mad on my eating days if I was totally unrestricted on what I could eat . You say you can eat pizza and takeaway on the diet which I don't doubt, but a pizza takeaway for me is an entire 12 inch chicken bbq pizza, large portion of chips and chicken nuggets and a tub of garlic mayo... yeah. That's at least 2 days worth of calories in one meal. I think for later down the line when I've got my relationship with food in hand it would definitely be worth looking at again, but for now I need to be "taught" how to eat correctly and healthily if that makes sense?

While WW Is good for restricting your food, it still gives the opportunity to eat lots of crap foods and still point them

Haa! YES. I completely agree with this! I did this for the first 2 days and was like "this diet is awesome!" until I realized I was desperately hungry and I could have had a full roast dinner for the "price" of a packet of crisps ..I think when you make that realization it's a bit of a light bulb moment! This week I'm focusing on taking on good full calories rather than empty ones and seeing if it makes a difference :) So far so good though!

Low Carb: Thanks to everyone who's been suggesting it, I've had a look. I've touched on this before and although I recognize there's some great science going on to support low carbing, I think for me I'd rather do "less carb" rather than low carb if that makes sense? I just think that's going to be more sustainable for me long term. I dont want to "cut out" anything at all from my diet that isn't completely empty calories so I still want to be able to eat potatoes and bread and rice and pasta etc, albeit in smaller quantities and less often.

I just compared my Monday food yesterday to my normal Monday food from last week, thought you guys might fancy a look and probably a laugh.. feel free to hoist up your judgy pants on this one, mine are up around my ears at this point!

Breakfast last Monday: Cocopops (30g) and semi skimmed milk (1.5g protein, 12g sugar)

Breakfast Yesterday: Quaker Oats Super Grains Porridge (30g) and semi skimmed milk. (4.3g protein, 0.3g sugar)

Lunch last Monday: Cous Cous from Morrisons, feta, cheesy garlic bread (god knows the nutrition on this but carb heaven and full of fat and sugar)

Lunch Yesterday: Tesco Beautifully Balanced Salmon Watercress Sauce (23.5g protein, 4g sugar)

Dinner Last Monday: Yep.. You guessed it. Takeaway! Chicken kebab with salad and garlic mayo with large chips and cheese.

Dinner Yesterday: Grilled mackerel in a soy, chilli and star anise dressing with dry fried brown rice, spinach and broccoli.

Snacks last Monday: 8 KFC hotwings on the way home

Snacks Yesterday: A weight watchers yogurt mid morning, a teaspoon of peanut butter on celery sticks in the afternoon and NOTHING ON THE WAY HOME

When you put it all out there like that it's horrendous. The worst bit is, I thought I was doing ok last Monday

You can also replace white carbs with healthier ones such as brown rice or sweet potato. I make an awesome sweet potato crusted quiche, usually with chicken and spinach. Have that with some salad for dinner and usually have some left for a mid-morning or mid-afternoon snack. Filling and so so tasty!
I also do 10 - 20 minute HIIT sessions 4 - 5 times a week...great for fat burning for the rest of the day!

Rintinminniebin thanks for that :) I swapped to brown rice a while ago and we already have sweet potatoes a lot so that's good :)

The only time we really have normal white potatoes is with roast dinners once a week, the rest of the time it's usually rice or something else. Of course, that's dependent on us actually cooking and not having takeaway

What a great start and what big difference of food choices. What worked for me is eating limited processed food as possible and not banning any particular food groups. I also don't count calories. I have never had a weight problem bar pregnancy. Whatever you decide it has to be sustainable. Good luck.

You're doing great. Keep positive and you'll get there. At the end of the day, it's not about doing a diet, but changing something every day so that it all becomes habit before you know it! Look forward to hearing more on your progress xxx

Your weight loss is already noticeable in the pics. Please dont feel patronised but you aee young- there is time to lose and spring back and spend your whole long life actually liking and feeling comfortable with the body you see in the mirror. I spent years thinking fat is what I am, instead of fat is what I am AT THE MOMENT. Believe you can look dofferent and still be you..

I tried low carb, but found it too restrictive and impossible to stick to long-term. The minute I reintroduced some carbs, back came the weight. The same goes for any 'diet' imo.

The way you eat has to be sustainable long-term, otherwise what's the point? My current plan is simply 3 normal meals a day, only fruit or yoghurt for pudding in the evening, with a bit of a treat at the weekend.
If you have been eating shedloads of junk, just eating a normal meals with no junk in between should be enough to make you lose weight steadily and sensibly.

MrsWooster that's lovely advice, thank you!

I've been fat all my life and my Mum put me on a diet for the first time at 4 years old. I've been conscious and aware of my weight and of the "diets" im supposedly on since I was 7.. when I was given slim fast shakes for breakfast and lunch... Luckily that only lasted a few months because I didn't lose any weight.. my Mum never knew but the dinner ladies were taking pity on me at school and giving me school dinners for free God bless the 90's! I became a secret eater very quickly because I learned throughout childhood that food was bad and if you ate the wrong things you got shouted at.. I'd still want to eat them though so I would.. just secretly! Food guilt made me think of food as more than just fuel, hence I'm a total binge eater now.

I'm aware this has probably contributed massively to my horrible relationship with food.. no point dwelling on that though, it's the future that matters now not the past :)

As you said, I'm only 25 and have a lot of life to live as a shit hot thin person I mourn for the wasted fat years often, but then make them grow by not doing anything about my weight Daft really when you put it like that!

I just made my Mum sound like a complete monster, she really really isnt! She was horribly worried about me and had never been overweight herself, so didn't understand how to lose weight or what healthy eating looked like. It was the 90's before childhood obesity became a hot topic and there was no research into how dieting and body issues affected kids long term, she wasn't evil, just ignorant at the time and doing the best she knew.

We've spoken about all this at length since and although she's still MASSIVELY judgmental about fat people and doesn't understand how food can be an addiction or even how "just eat less" is not helpful advice, she's at least now aware that calling your 5 year old daughter "the dustbin" and "the elephant in the room" has long lasting effects right the way to adulthood. She still thinks I'm fat because I eat too much which is true, but slowly she's learning that the "why" I eat rather than the "what" I eat is the big question :)

As you said, I'm only 25 and have a lot of life to live as a shit hot thin person

THIS! A colleague of mine recently lost a lot of weight. After spending all her life being obese and then morbidly obese, she's now a size 12-14, really happy in herself, and has even started running - something she never ever thought was possible. She's almost 60.

I was talking to her about it a couple of months ago and she said that, while she was really happy she's done it, she wishes she'd lost the weight years ago.
She told me she's sad that she spent her 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s inactive, obese, not feeling she could wear the clothes she wanted to, and generally feeling crap about herself.

But you've got the rest of your life ahead of you OP - and if you keep on doing what you're doing now, you won't end up with regrets like my friend has.

Hurray! It's a huge step to accept that your mum was mistaken and that you are NOT 'wrong' in some way. You are you, with all your good and bad bits AND a dysfunctional relationship with food. Your fat doesnt define you.

I wish I'd known this years ago. Good luck
Xx for the me all those years ago

Just a quick update on today: So far so good, I had porridge for breakfast again, a yogurt mid morning, a tesco healthy living lamb kofta ready meal for lunch (this was yummy), celery with a teaspoon of peanut butter on it for an afternoon snack and lots and lots of lemon water and green tea throughout the day :) For dinner tonight we're having Swedish Meatballs, it's a Hairy Dieters recipe and it's lovely :) I feel like I'm eating tons but all that adds up to 39 smart points, and I have 41 per day to "spend", so I'm still on plan and everything I'm eating is nutritious rather than empty calories, so I think it's fine?

I guess we'll find out when I weight in on Monday!

Tonight we're off to see a wedding venue, so hopefully that will be motivation!

All sounds great OP! Half the battle is getting used to eating less physical quantities of food. You can tinker with the content of meals down the line if you feel the need.

I can't tell you how similar I find your story to what i'm going through! I'm getting married soon and desperate to loose weight. So far its been going ok and its the first time in my life I've been loosing and not gaining weight. But so much more to go! I have the same problem as you with bingeing and not being able to stop at 1 bag of crisps etc. I've found making sure I don't have access to any of these food have helped so no buying biscuits etc at all but having ice lollys in the freezer for when i'm craving something sweet. The fruit pastel ones only have about 53 calories. I know they still have sugar but I figure its better than going out and buying a tub of ice cream!

You sound like you're doing amazing so far and I hope you keep it up and feeling good about it all :)