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Original poster

in laws being invited to wider family weddings

34 replies

DMBZ1985 · 08/12/2025 11:18

Hello!

I wandered if anyone could share their experience of this:

My sister in law is getting married next year. She hasn't invited my parents. is this normal? is there a 'normal' in this situation? She doesn't know my parents very well, but the few times they've met they have really bonded, and my parents really love her. I don't think my parents will really mind, they are very chilled and tend not to take these things too personally. And I certainly don't want to get grumpy about it, I get that people have really limited numbers. Im just curious if there's a cultural norm in the UK. (for context, my family are not bon in the uk, and our ethnic customs dictate you definitely invite in laws as they are considered family, even if you don't know them well).

Thanks for any light anyone can shed!

OP posts:
ArcticGrass · 08/12/2025 11:20

Depends really. I wouldn't be expecting an invitation to an 'in laws' wedding. I'm British and in my 50s. But if I knew them well then it would be nice to get an invitation - but no, I wouldn't say it would be expected.

Alexadidzammomarryjackie · 08/12/2025 11:21

As in your husband's sister? I appreciate from a cultural perspective that would be usual but certainly would not occur to me to invite someone else's parents unless I was very close to them.

gogomomo2 · 08/12/2025 11:21

No I would not expect my parents to be invested to my brother in laws wedding next year (actually it’s really small but even if there were 200 guests)

EuroTour · 08/12/2025 11:21

Not normal here at all.

ApolloandDaphne · 08/12/2025 11:22

It's not the cultural norm to invite the in laws (as in your parents) in the UK.

Cynic17 · 08/12/2025 11:23

I've never known in laws such as you describe, OP, being invited to family weddings. Why invite people you don't know? Most people would prefer to invite their friends.

YourMotherSortsSocksInHell · 08/12/2025 11:23

Maybe an evening invitation but probably not to the ceremony.

DappledThings · 08/12/2025 11:24

Definitely not the expectation here. Most people would be very surprised to receive an invitation to their child's spouse's sibling's wedding.

Talipesmum · 08/12/2025 11:26

I definitely wouldn’t expect my husband’s sister to invite my parents to her wedding. Not the norm here I think.
If perhaps we all lived in the same town and they knew each other well, if my parents hosted meals / parties and invited my SIL as a matter of course, or vice versa, then maybe yes, but not as default because they’re in-laws.

Redburnett · 08/12/2025 11:30

In my most recent experience (UK couples) the only relatives invited were the bride and grooms parents (gnashes teeth through effort of accepting this).

nayals · 08/12/2025 11:37

They’re not her in laws. You are her sister in law. But they are just your parents.

purplecorkheart · 08/12/2025 11:44

It would not be the norm here but saying that a relative in laws have been invited to many of my families weddings/parties.

UrsulaBelle · 08/12/2025 11:56

Assuming she's your in-law on your husband's side and not your brother's wife-to-be? Otherwise not being invited to your own son's wedding would be strange.😉 But no, inviting your brother's wife's parents to your wedding is not the norm in the UK.

somanychristmaslights · 08/12/2025 11:58

No I wouldn’t expect my parents to come to my SIL. They’re nothing to do with her.

Summeriscumin · 08/12/2025 12:02

Perfectly normal - they aren't related.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 08/12/2025 12:59

Perfectly normal if you aren’t a close extended family (so she’s not seeing them regularly).

my parents and brother were not invited to. DH’s brother’s wedding (even though it was a big affair). However a friend’s parents were invited to her DHs’ sister’s wedding, but they lived the street next to her DHs parents and the two sets of parents had become close friends.

SheinIsShite · 08/12/2025 13:05

My sister has met my husband's parents on a handful of occasions. My husband's sister met my parents once, at our wedding. We live in different cities, many hours drive from each other.

If my husband's sister suddenly started inviting my mum to things, I'd think she'd lost her marbles. It's not that sort of relationship.

EvelynBeatrice · 08/12/2025 13:17

Much depends on the type of family and type of wedding. In the U.K. mainstream Anglo Saxon Protestant tradition, I wouldn’t say that it was the norm. The U.K. is different from e.g. America in that the bridal couple in the UK by and large generally save and pay for the bulk of the wedding themselves, even if parents make a contribution. Therefore numbers are limited - and venues have a smaller capacity sometimes.

My brother and his fiancé invited my parents in law to their wedding. My parents in law were on my parents ‘guest list’.

This was a large family wedding in which parents on both sides had the opportunity to suggest a limited number of guests from their side in addition to the couple’s friends. My mother would not have insisted on having anyone attend as it wasn’t her wedding, but she appreciated the invitation to suggest guests and would have felt it discourteous not to include my in- laws on her list.

If my brother and I had several more siblings, then it would clearly not have been an option.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 08/12/2025 13:26

It's not the norm no.

I invited my sister in laws family ( parents and sisters) to the evening party at my wedding but we had had lots of contact at family events previously

ChristmasinBrighton · 08/12/2025 13:27

Your husband’s sister? No. Why would she?

FuelledByRageAndHaribo · 08/12/2025 13:29

In our family my brother did invite my DH’s parents to his wedding but it was because DH and I had hosted numerous parties and special occasions over the years so he’d got to know them well enough to do so. My sister’s parents-in-law weren’t invited because there’d never been that social interaction with them, I would say hello if I passed them in the street but I barely know them.

Original poster
DMBZ1985 · 08/12/2025 13:31

very useful - thanks everyone! for those asking, yes its my husband's sister.

OP posts:
pinkspeakers · 08/12/2025 13:31

So you are talking about someone being invited to the wedding of their daughter's husband's sister? I dont think there would be an expectation at all and it would all depend on circumstances. In some families you might all see each a few times a year or more and have formed a proper relationship, in other families you might not see them beyond the wedding of your daughter (and possibly subsequent christening etc). In the first case an invite would be normal, in the second it would be quite bizarre.

Mollywasasinger · 08/12/2025 13:34

I’m white British and would be actively surprised to see such distant relations at a wedding tbh, it would never have occurred to me to invite my SIL’s parents to my wedding, even though I’d known my SIL for 15 years by then and had met her parents many times.

Original poster
DMBZ1985 · 08/12/2025 14:38

all useful, thanks. it seems it very much depends on the closeness of the relationship, and that makes good sense, and is also totally individual to the size of the wedding etc. this has all made me feel a lot better, I think my sister in law was feeling a bit bad for not inviting them, so if it comes up I can reassure her that its totally fine

OP posts:
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