Cheap wedding?

[rolzii]

Hi all,

I have been engaged for the past year and a half and haven't booked a date for the wedding yet.

I am 27 and me and my partner have our own house, but I would love to get a wedding booked.

The only problem is, weddings are extremely expensive and tbh I just can't justify it. I've looked at a few venues and we're talking around £16,000 for the venue alone without the dress, suits, etc.

I can't think of anything worse than spending £20,000 odd on a wedding when that money could have gone on so many better things.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to have low budget weddings? Ideas on something different? I really want to get married but not for the prices that I have been quoted!!

Do you want the marriage or the wedding?

Registry office and simple meal with family can cost under 1000. You don’t even have to buy new clothes.

There’s a blog called ‘the thrifty bride’ who has lots of ideas for small/budget weddings
I don’t know if it’s still active as I was following in 2021 when I got engaged and ended up having a more traditional expensive wedding in the end 😂

I went to Vegas but that's not for everyone.

A registry office can be beautiful, they usually have a variety of rooms and packages for different sized events from just 2 witnesses to 100 friends and family.

We've been married 18 years and I regret nothing about having a completely private elopement. We wanted to be married but had no interest in a wedding and were completely unwilling to spend any real money on it. Instead we went on holiday for 5 nights to a fun location and spent 45 minutes of it getting married.

I think you have to think about options of how many guests. How many is your absolute must and then what is optional.
that will give you a better idea what to look for.

Personally I'd or when I get married (still waiting on the ring but have the house and baby lol) I would have a small intimate ceremony and maybe a nice meal
Or something after I wouldn't blow all the money on a wedding either x

First work out what matters to you. Have you had a secret dream for years about what your wedding would be like?

Do you want a large party with lots of family/friends? Or would you prefer small and stylish? How many people for each?

What was good about the nicest wedding you've been to recently? What, if anything, have you spotted that seemed a bit pointless?

Don't buy bridal magazines or look at wedding websites for inspiration. They very much reflect the industry, and are trying to sell you things.

You don't need to book a venue - think about having a church or registry office wedding, then a reception/party somewhere else. This generally brings the price down, depending on catering/bar arrangements. Pub or clubhouse with a function room can be the best bet, as they can supply all the drinks and will be set up for caterers (or might be able to do it in house, probably with less of a mark up than a wedding venue). You might even be able to supply own booze (but pay corkage).

Do remember to feed your guests at normal mealtimes. If you have a late afternoon wedding, it gives people time to travel on the day (knowing they'll need lunch beforehand) then you can have the reception over an early dinner (6-ish?) and then dancing. Or if you're not bothered by dancing, have mid morning wedding, reception at lunchtime, then you can "go away" mid afternoon. It's become much more common to have a evening do, but it's really not compulsory.

You don't need elaborate decorations, favours, extensive stationery, or swish wedding cars. Decent photographer is however worth it IMO (and is the thing I would do differently if I was ever going to do it again - we used the local one knowing he could be a bit iffy and he was).

Cakes can vary enormously in cost - how elaborate do you want to go? Do you even want one at all?

We got married in a registry office and had our reception at the rugby club in DH’s home town. Hired a great band, hired & decorated the tables, made some food and a cake, bought some wine.

You won’t get much cheaper than that for a “proper” party, but you could get a hog roast in or buy a cake if you don’t want to do a lot of work yourself.

People get caught up in things that aren’t necessary, and don’t make guests’ experience better, then all the “small” costs start to add up to a big spend.

Your invitations don’t need to be hand made, or match the venue decor, you don’t need favours, you don’t need to do bacon sandwiches at 11pm.

There are Soooooooooooooooooooooooo many different options now, you and your FH have to sit down and work out what it important to you.

From a £50K celebrations with all bells and whistles, to a legal ceremony where you go to the registry office with 2 witnesses and just do the legal part without new clothes, or a party.

You need to consider how important different aspects of a day (somewhere in between the extremes) are to you.
Main one being - how many people will you want to share your day with?

I've been to a lovely wedding where there were 12 of us (incl B&G). Registry office then meal in a restaurant.
I've been to a 'wedding' where they had done the legal bit the day before and we all went to a field for a personal 'ceremony' they had written themselves and they had a couple of big Scout marquees and group shelters, some Scouts had done the catering for them (chillis and curries) - lots of people there, cost minimal. (Note - very different from hiring a 'wedding marquee').
I've been to a Church service followed by afternoon tea in the Church hall.
I've been to parties where people have hired the local social club / sports club / working men's club / British Legion / village hall and hired in their own caterers.

There are so many places and ways you can bring a wedding in on a smaller budget, but you have to really have a good idea of what is important to you.

Friends of ours went to a registry office, had their sisters as witnesses. Went M&S for lunch. He wore a suit he already had. Her dress came from H&M. Then they drive over to her mum's and took her out to afternoon tea and told her.

Thanks everyone for responses.

I had always said that I would get married in vegas! But now that it's here I think I would like it in the U.K. for grandparents and family to attend.

I am not keen on registry office and a meal type of thing as I would like a wedding - wedding dress, speeches, etc but I just don't know how im going to get a proper wedding without having to spend thousands!

I will probably end up not getting married before I spend thousands of pounds as I just could never justify it

We are getting married on Saturday we've gone for a registry office and then a pub with a bbq and disco with all our close ones. I reckon we have spent about 10.000 but we have everything we want and i am so happy with what we have got. It can be done it's just a lot of looking around for cheaper things

I think the main cost factors are the number of guests, the venue and the food.

A friend of mine had a lovely 50ish person wedding. They got married in her local church (she was a member of the confregation there), had held the reception in the nearby village hall and had a food truck arrive for the reception meal (it was delicious).

There were no evening guest invites- they just invited family and close friends, no work acquaintances etc.

The wedding cake was served as dessert. They didn't bother with favours and only had two wedding party members each.
The decorations had mainly been bought second hand.

It was a lovely wedding and I really enjoyed it.

We got married in a register office midweek. Nice building, good for photos. We paid about £200 all in, including wedding rings and my dress. I bought a second-hand dress - not specifically bridal, but nice. Then a meal out in the evening at a local restaurant.

Çan be a church or registery office. Back to the house or local pub for a buffet or a carvery in a sectioned off area.

If you choose a touristy place it's usually very cheap towards the end of the off season. Museums, stately homes, zoos etc.

All of those things are available without massive cost.

You can get very nice, very traditional wedding dresses for easily under £500.

Registry offices aren't all tiny rooms, most counties have a range of locations from an office looking room to rooms that look like banquet halls with dressed chairs and flower arrangements.

Speeches can happen in any sit down eating environment, whether that's a marquis set up in a field or a historic pub with a function room.

Try to think about the elements you want then brainstorm the various different locations that those elements could be pulled together, don't stick to the advertised 'wedding' venues.

OP, you can wear a wedding dress at a Register Office.
You can go to a pub or restaurant for a meal, and still have speeches.
It sounds like you do want a big, fancy, traditional wedding, and that will cost money. So start from the basics - ie, is it legal? - and then work up, deciding on what you think is essential, or not.
For instance, you don't need a huge, hired car - ask a friend to drive you.
You don't need an expensive photographer - ask a couple of guests to take some pics. Can anyone do flowers, make a cake etc? Hire a village hall and do your own catering? It's still a "proper" wedding.

We had a 'typical' wedding in a registry office! So much cheaper, and it was the town hall which was a lovely building. I think you need to re-assess your opinion of registry office weddings! You're only there 30 minutes. Then had a reception at a hotel where you paid per head, it worked out very good value.

There are plenty of venues that cost far less. It costs about £800 to get married in church including organist, most churches already have some flowers so ask how much for a little extra if that matters to you. We have booked the upstairs of a local pub, all in - all drinks, food, band it's coming in at £4500, add £1500 for clothes and that's under £7k without skimping at all (3 course dinner. Evening food, wine, fizz, £800 drinks credit)

Thanks all, really appreciate the helpful responses.

Yes I suppose I do want a 'proper' wedding, but I don't want to spend a house deposit in doing it 😂

I'm not bothered about fancy flowers, cake, all the gimmicks you see like photo booths etc.

I suppose I just want a nice wedding with a good photographer (I have been told that this is one thing that is definitely worthwhile) and a day/evening event with family and friends.

Going to a church/registry office and having an evening do could be an option - I just don't know where to start!

I feel like the moment you label something with 'wedding' the price rockets !!

What geographic area are you in as I feel that could make a big difference? Also, do you have a budget in mind? We had a traditional wedding, dress, cake, flowers, food, venue, DJ etc all for around £9k which is significantly less than £16k but way more than less than £1k for a register office ceremony! If you give us some more ideas we might be able to make some suggestions?

A canny friend was fed up with the prices being quoted for a "wedding" so asked for party prices! The prices quoted were several thousand less than the "wedding" prices but the venue was not happy when the bride turned up and it was, obviously, a wedding but nothing they could do because it was still a party! However, I'm sure many contracts do have provisions to stop the venue being duped.

OP, I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm not even from the UK. And I had zero problems finding a budget venue.

First thing I did was Google 'budget wedding venues in X area'. I also Googled 'budget wedding venue ideas '. I was inundated with choice.

'how to have a church wedding ' and 'how to have a registry office wedding' also bring up loads of results.

I find it highly unlikely that you're unable to find anything below 16K unless you're looking only at stately homes or similar for 200 guests.

I think your real problem is deciding what kind of wedding you want. Your definition of a proper wedding is a white dress and speeches but you don't care about flowers and cake. In theory that means you can just rent a village hall and walk the length of it in a white dress. Catered food and tables. Job done :)

The biggest influence on cost is the number of guests - and food - so you need to decide this as a matter of priority. How many people? What's the budget per head? How many meals? What kind? A pizza van or buffet will be much cheaper than a 3 course meal with table service.

Then you need to set a budget and stick to it. Dont even look at more expensive venues if you don't want to spend it. It'll only lead to temptation. Prioritise your top spends. Venue, food/drink, photography.

Wedding dresses you can find secondhand for less than £100. Tailoring is more important another £100 on top of that.

What does your day look like... What parts can you do where? Do you want a ceremony then off somewhere else for food? Dancing?

Websites like hitched have a lot of useful venue filters but you can also use generic 'venue finders' most of them will also do weddings. Just filter your guests, price per head and search

In 2022 We spent £8k on our wedding for 56 people.
Church then church hall which cost us £400.
The food was £5k we had an outside caterer and that attracts vat. You could get food cheaper I'd imagine I bought my own wine on sale or return from majestic

Hired the glasses and cutlery
Used a wedding decorator for the hall. It's amazing what lights and table cloths can do.

Mum made the cake
A friend's son played the pipes though we did pay him.

The flower lady from the church did the flowers for cost only as I said to leave them for the Sunday service

It can be done more cheaply.