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Original poster

Dreading wedding dress shopping

35 replies

Lonelymama88 · 19/03/2023 20:51

Hello,
my partner and I have finally booked our wedding for September 2024… we’ve been together for 17 years, engaged for 12 years 🙈
The one part of planning I am least looking forward to is wedding dress shopping! I am not a very confident or fashion savvy person so just the thought of it makes me feel sick.

When is the best time to start looking?
I have absolutely no idea what I would like to have and I have a funny body shape.

Who do you take with you?
I think I have 6 family members who have said they would like to come 🥴…. I’m an indecisive person but that seems like far too many 😂

Any and all advise much appreciated please and thank you 😊

OP posts:
Greensleevevssnotnose · 19/03/2023 20:54

Go one your own. Go to lots of shops the one that makes you cry is the one. Then go with mum or friends a week later and try on three and see if they pick the same one. Congratulations

WandaWonder · 19/03/2023 21:00

I would go with the mindset of picking 3 shops (or whatever amount) and having to pick from them

Otherwise it could be an endless thing

pollykitty · 19/03/2023 21:01

Congratulations! I second going on your own too. Maybe if you’ve narrowed down your choices then take someone for a final opinion. Wedding dress salespeople are actually quite skilled at finding a dress that suits. I’ve been married twice. I found my dress on my own first time around and for the second, I just ordered a very very nice dress online from asos that I knew would be flattering. You don’t have to wear a wedding dress per se, there is so much out there. My second dress was lavender with a white lace overlay. Try to have fun —— be open minded and you will be able to find something!

AramintaLee · 19/03/2023 22:02

I went with just my maid of honour to one shop where the intention was to see what I liked and what suited my shape... ending up buying the 3rd dress I tried on.

I think having it just be me and my MoH, it kept the process simple. I think if I'd had my Mum and bridesmaids there, different opinions would have been flying around and I would have ended up coming out with nothing.

I do think it's nice to go with someone. Just to have that shared experience when you try on the dress and you know its The One. I'm glad I shared that with my MoH.

Changingplace · 19/03/2023 22:07

I hated actual bridal shops, I went to a few and they just irritated me - so remember that lots of high street shops do lovely wedding dresses, but without all the faff.

I got mine from House of Fraser, I found it a much nicer experience personally than the bridal
shops.

Unbridezilla · 20/03/2023 12:37

Go with one person who you know will be honest. Some wedding shop ladies are great, some are just sales people who will tell you what you want to hear.

For the first shop, go somewhere with lots of different styles and try a range on. Walk away and over the next week or two you'll work out what you like. Then tailor shopping to shops with that style.

In terms of time, I'm getting married this September, bought my dress last November and it arrives at the bridal shop next week. I'm booked in for alterations starting in July. I could have bought a sample dress or one off the rack and took it home the same day (even from bridal shops), if needs be, but I just didn't fall in love with one of those.

Unbridezilla · 20/03/2023 12:39

And I think everyone feels overwhelmed/not sure how to shop for something that suits you. After all, it's a lot of money and it's not like we wear lots of full length white evening dresses is normal life!

Ihatethenewlook · 20/03/2023 12:39

Agree with pp, take one honest person. 6 will be ridiculously overwhelming and how will you cater for that many opinions? If you’re like me then you’ll need at least one person to even know where to start

Justforlaffs · 20/03/2023 12:46

Take just one person - your closest person. A big group will be too much pressure and too many opinions. Take someone you know will be honest and has good taste if possible.

You'll know when you try it on which is the dress for you because it'll make you feel great. Don't feel like you need to trawl endlessly round shops to find some kind of "zeitgeist" of a dress - one you feel pretty and comfortable in will do fine. The assistants in the shop will have a good idea of what will suit your body shape but don't be pressured to buy anything you don't like.

I loved the 3rd dress I tried on in the first shop I went to and bought it - I'd already looked at lots of wedding magazines (try Pinterest nowadays) and narrowed down the kind of dress I was looking for so for instance i knew I didn't want anything "booby" (as I don't like seeing too much boob on show on a bride!)or a train as it'd get on my nerves dragging it around. Make a list of the things you definitely don't want and you'll be making some headway.

And lastly, try to enjoy it - you'll be spending a lot of money on this dress so relax and go with it, it's a lovely thing to be able to do.

gogohmm · 20/03/2023 16:06

Work out your budget and stick to it - your choice of shop can then be worked out from that.

Many high street/online stores sell bridal now mail order so a good starting point might be looking there if you have a modest budget. Another option is a trip to a larger bridal warehouse type shop, take one person max with you for ease. Once you narrow down style you can shop around if you need to but no point visiting too many places until you work out what style and budget

Original poster
Lonelymama88 · 20/03/2023 17:11

Thank you for the lovely advice, it is much appreciated.
i have been told a few horror stories about bridal shops by friends which has added to the stress.
thank you all again 😊

OP posts:
OttersMayHaveShiftedInTransit · 20/03/2023 17:21

I went alone (we had a provisional three day hold on a venue and I had to make sure I could find something off the peg as there wouldn't be time to wait for something to be made or for major alterations to be done) I narrowed down to three or four that I liked plus 'the one'. I then went again a few days later and took my mum and didn't tell her that I had a strong favourite but her reaction confirmed that 'the one' was indeed 'the one'. Good luck I hope you find your 'one'.

Gillyyy · 21/03/2023 14:46

Monsoon have some really lovely wedding dresses that you could order and try on at home alone or with a friend? I was thinking if it’s the salesperson that adds to the stress this might be easier! Even if you end up sending them back it might help you get an idea of what suits you.

I also really like Needle & Thread and Ghost for wedding dresses.

Twizbe · 21/03/2023 15:09

There's a shop near me called brides2be and they have all the sizes out and you can just try stuff on like a normal shop.

That could be a good place to start. Low pressure and just trying on different styles and see how you feel.

alwaysawaster · 21/03/2023 15:17

Go with someone who will good at picking for YOU. My sister came with me, and she's very honest, and has the ability to set aside what her personal preferences might be and focus on what your preferences are. If you ever watch those tv shows so often you can see that the guests reject a dress due to it not being something they would wear - it's not about them!

Bonus if they can stealthily take photos without being spotted!

Pick out a few, but be open to trying on anything that the shop suggests. They see brides in dresses all the time, in all shapes and sizes and know what styles/tones suit people. I settled on a dress chosen off the rack that was the opposite of what I had in my head because it just suited me so well.

Do your research on the shops. Ask around any brides you know what shops are good at helping you choose and what shops to avoid. I found a great bride who did all that legwork and made appointments at her picks.

Don't pick on the day. Go away having narrowed it down to a couple and think about it. The one you can't stop thinking about is a solid contender. If there's a dress you almost liked apart from a certain detail, and you pick it, by the time it arrives you'll hate that detail. Unless it's something simple like a belt /no belt that's easily removable. Make follow up appointments to pick from your shortlist.

Shortlist picking. This is the appointment that you can invite more to if you like but not too many. They can offer their opinion on the ones that you've tried and liked enough but remember the final decision is yours. I had it narrowed down to 2 dresses in two shops. Both very similar dresses but in the end the champagne tone of one worked better for me.

Plan a nice lunch/cocktail afterwards. It's an exciting time and you'll be relieved and happy to have picked so enjoy it.

Optional: Try on one you can never afford. My sister got me to try on a (hideous) one that cost 10k. But only after I'd found my dream dress and only one she knew would look awful on me so there was no risk of hankering after a dress that cost more than my car.

bakewellbride · 21/03/2023 16:02

I'm married but have never been wedding dress shopping as I just couldn't think of anything worse! Ordered a lovely dress off monsoon and had it altered. Highly recommended.

Changingplace · 21/03/2023 20:46

Don’t feel you have to have some huge emotional overwhelming experience of finding ‘the one’ - it’s a dress, yes I’m sure it’ll be a very nice dress and you’ll feel great but if (like me) you’re not a particularly sentimental person then it’s absolutely fine to find a nice dress you like and just leave all the expectations of bursting into tears out of it :)

Don’t forget that ultimately bridal shops are there to sell you a dress, stick to your budget and don’t feel pressurised into agreeing there and then.

Lcb123 · 21/03/2023 21:02

Go on your own or just the one person you know will be most honest. Do your research before so you’re going in with ideas. Don’t necessarily get one from bridal shop - look at high street, or custom made. I had custom made for £500!

sofia7 · 21/03/2023 21:09

Don’t be nervous! Wedding dresses aren’t just regular dresses in white/ivory, they’re expensive because they are (usually) designed to flatter and look fabulous. Hours of detail goes into creating curves, hiding some areas and drawing attention to others. Often the staff are really skilled in finding you lots of different types to try on and when you have an idea of what you like they’ll narrow it down with you. They are also good in judging what would suit you. If you book an appointment and go alone you’ll probably have the salon to yourself. They’ll put you ease, honestly. You might as well start looking soon and then you can take advice about ordering deadlines etc. Enjoy!! 😊

catsnore · 21/03/2023 21:23

I hate that sort of shopping so I just bought a Monsoon dress I liked on eBay. Cost me £40! No regrets 😂

Penniless · 21/03/2023 21:33

You don’t have to if you don’t want to, OP. I got married in a white sundress.

Original poster
Lonelymama88 · 17/04/2023 16:19

So I went to my first bridal shop today to try on dresses. I took my mum and one of my sisters with me, they were both honest with what they didn’t like but also they both kept saying that it is my wedding so it is my choice, which I didn’t find particularly helpful.
I showed the lady in the shop the dresses I liked from what they had online, they didn’t have any of them in store, so we picked similar ones. I tried on 7 dresses in total but only 3 of them I liked or felt comfortable in. 1 would need to be altered to fit, 1 was almost perfect and the last was out of my budget.
I have to say although I liked the 3 I have come away feeling really underwhelmed. Is it that I am putting too much thought/pressure in to it or did I just not find ‘the one’
The shop will hold the 2 dresses that were in the sale until the end of the week but I just don’t know what I should do 😔

OP posts:
Twizbe · 17/04/2023 16:21

You've not found the right dress yet. Keep looking, but now you might have a better idea of what suits you.

CheeseMcKnees · 17/04/2023 16:23

You don’t have to wear one. Choose an outfit that you love and even one you’d wear parts of again.

Unbridezilla · 17/04/2023 16:25

Absolutely you didn't find the right one. Try another shop. When you try your dress on you'll know!

(Loads of people said that to me, and I was sceptical, but it is true)