Advice on how to throw great wedding party?

[Halfastoneextra]

We're having a wedding party later this year. So far we have a lovely pub venue which can cater for both good weather and rain.

The problem is, is a nice venue, good food and company enough? We did look into having a cover band but the space allocated as a dance floor is a bit small. Also, the band we were going to have has now split up. No way the venue could accommodate a ceilidh.
Am considering either a magician show or a disco (with or without a DJ), just to break up the evening a bit, in case people don't want to feel they have to be talking to others all night.
My husband is not keen on the disco bit but I'm worried that without any kind of "event" to break it up, it may be a dull evening?
The crowd invited (up to 80 people including a few little ones) are mostly family with some friends in the mix.

Definitely a band. It's always a band around here and then a dj afterwords.

We had a mobile casino as well as a DJ. The guests were given play money on entry, and we had Blackjack and Roulette.

It worked really well, and two couples in our friend group did exactly the same when they got married within 3 years of us, as they'd loved it so much.

One couple even used the same company as they live locally, and the croupier on the Blackjack table was the same one as at mine (weddings were 11 months apart). That wedding also had a salsa band to kick the night off after dinner. They did a performance, and then guests were invited to have a go. That was brilliant fun! They later had a DJ, too.

The most boring wedding we ever went to was 6 weeks after ours and had the ceremony at 12pm and food at 5pm. Between 1 and 5 was a 'drinks reception' on the lawn of the hotel. No food. No music. No entertainment. But arguably a nice venue and good conversation. It was a very long day. Many people got drunk as there was nothing to do, and as the ceremony had taken place over lunch, no one had eaten since breakfast. It was the middle of nowhere too, so we couldn't even leave to get food!
They had a DJ from 8 pm, but the bride had been specific in the style of music she wanted him to play, and he wasn't allowed to deviate from that, so requests were turned down. The result was an empty dancefloor with people leaving to go to bed at 10 pm. DH disappeared back to our room to watch MOTD.

80 people is a lot. A good venue and good company are enough if you're having an intimate dinner. 80 guests is a party. You say there are little ones coming. What are you expecting them to do? They'll be running around. Good food and conversation aren't for them. They need music and space to run/spin/dance.

All weddings mentioned had between 80 and 100 guests for the evening.

A playlist and decent volume of speakers is the minimum you need, plus make sure the signal bandwidth is sufficient if you are using Spotify. People can also contribute easily with favourites. Otherwise everyone will leave. I suggest low volume background music during the food stage, personally I would go for chilled out jazz or potentially folk, then crank up the volume and tempo to crowd pleasing tracks from across the decades, you could ask guests for favourites with their invites (I've been asked for 3 suggestions in the past). A covers band is better still, they play what you want generally if in repertoire

If you don't want too loud why not compromise and book a duo or solo guitar, singer songwriter style.

Thanks everyone, you've given me lots to think about and I really appreciate all your input. I will discuss things further with my husband and see where we go from here.

We got the guests to nominate their favourite song on their RSVP and that was the playlist. Got everybody got up for at least 1 dance. Some of the older guests selections (eg jazz songs) were played during the meal so they got to hear them so it didn't disrupt the flow of the dancing.

No magician. IME if they are going table to table they always arrive when the conversation is in full flow which is annoying when you're catching up with people you haven't seen for ages.

This.

If I were invited out for a meal, then that would be lovely if that is what the couple wanted.
However, if I were invited to a 'party' for 5 hours or so, then I would expect to be able to have a dance, yes.
If that isn't you - which is absolutely fine, we are all different - then have the wedding earlier in the day and have an afternoon tea reception, or, have it later and have a dinner. I think if you are inviting people for several hours though, most people will be expecting to be able to dance.

Bin off a band and put money behind the bar

/thread.

We got the guests to nominate their favourite song on their RSVP and that was the playlist. Got everybody got up for at least 1 dance. Some of the older guests selections (eg jazz songs) were played during the meal so they got to hear them so it didn't disrupt the flow of the dancing.

That's what we did. It was great and people loved hearing their own song.

I had doubts about having a 'disco' but figured we'd need background music. By the end of the night everyone was on the floor.

If you only want it for two hours
as u say then do just your plan

Arrive 6.30 -
6.30-7.30 Catch up with people
7.30-8.30/9 Eat
9 onwards All go home

OP I’m like you I hate too loud music when trying to chat and my least favourite part of weddings is the disco.

We did this for our pub wedding and it worked perfectly:

11am ceremony
12.30 buffet lunch
2pm cake and ice cream

then we had a Spotify playlist in the background. Ended around 6pm.

no one was bored as we had a great mix of people who enjoyed catching up, and those who wanted to stay out and party did so. Loads of people commented how much they liked the earlier finish.

we were in a major city with lots of options for people to go to after if they wanted and we were tucked up in bed with a pizza by 8pm 😂

perfect.

They are terrible. Someone turns up at your table mid-conversation and you have to suddenly look all interested and smile

Just no.

I think a bit of a playlist disco that's not too loud or a this is a nice idea.
If you don't want too loud why not compromise and book a duo or solo guitar, singer songwriter style
For kids could you have a craft table/face painter for an hour or 2?
It's nice to have something a bit different at a wedding but it's got to be reflective of you too.

Update here. We've decided to book a casino for 2 - 3 hours, so people can choose to opt in or out, and at least it's an activity that's fun. Thanks again everyone for your thoughts, it has been so useful.

That sounds like great fun OP!

I’ve done the casino thing a few times on work dos and it’s great fun “gambling” with fake cash - might be worth thinking about offering up a prize for the person who wins the most by the end of the night?

Sounds like great fun. Hope you both have a fantastic day

Thank you, that's really lovely.

Yay! The casino is such fun!

Have a wonderful day.

If you want it to last until 11/12pm then you need to have some sort of music. People won't stay otherwise, they will get bored/ feel awkward and leave.

I think if you just want a quiet relaxed event with no music/ dancing, maybe do it earlier in the day, in the afternoon or lunchtime?

It's just really hard to pull off a good evening party without some kind of disco and dancing.

I think a seating plan would be good. I once went to a wedding without one, and it meant friends and families were split up and it was a bit chaotic.

You can’t have a party without any music at all.

How does the casino work? I’ve only ever seen them at charity events where people are understandably expected to pay to play because it raises money.

I really hate wedding parties and didn't have one, but actually yours sounds great. Low key, not excluding children or elderly people, in a pub, laid back, relaxed, fun.

I went to one that not only involved a 3 night stay in a posh hotel but also included fireworks, a string quartet, personalised neon signs, giant YouTube video montages of the bride and her friends, a hog roast and A LIVE DOVE RELEASE

Yours sounds fine!

Get your husband to do a Spotify playlist. I put charity events on and DJs can be really iffy. It's wonderful to share with your friends a personal playlist. Have a chat with the venue about what normally goes down well. You can hire disco lights and a small sound system.

Genius idea!!

We had a DJ with light show etc but we chose our playlist so essentially just paid for him to sort lights and then press play and mix in our playlist. But if you're worried the silent disco is a brilliant idea and very different!