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Original poster

Invitations vs Save the Date

46 replies

MKCH · 01/06/2022 11:51

I am getting married in June next year, and I'm about to start telling people about it!
My question is - is it too early to send invitations rather than Save the Dates?

I have designed invitations and I also have a wedding website. Guests will be directed to RSVP via the website, but on there are also a couple of forms that we do really need the answers to from guests that will be attending, regarding accommodation options and a couple of other things. We really need these details sooner than the standard 2-3 months before the wedding that you'd usually send invitations/get the responses. This is the same for both daytime and evening guests.

My thinking is that regardless of whether it's a Save the Date or an invitation, if people are coming it will be in their calendar as of receiving the details.

Etiquette would dictate that I don't send invitations for quite a while yet, and to just send a Save the Date now, but does it really matter?!

OP posts:

FinallyHere · 03/06/2022 10:04

need a rough idea of numbers as there is a minimum commitment necessary to book the bell tent supplier, and if we say 'yes, there will be at least 15 tents needed' and then only 10 are taken, we are liable to pay for the remaining 5 (for example)

If I were really going with this approach, I would be assuming that we had to cover the whole cost and consider it a boon if others do take the places. Otherwise, as PP has pointed out, you are relying on the guests to fund at Keats part of the venue.

You don't really just want people to reply to your invitation, you are relying on them actually booking the tents. Otherwise, you are still possibly faced with a short fall in costs which you will need to cover.

If you honestly can't afford to cover it and do not want to find an alternative venue, then before sending actual invitations, I would provide the full costs and ask people whether they would be interested in committing to that costs.

In my mind, the invitation implies that you are inviting and this covering the cost. Get that part sorted before you send invitations, so people understand that the invitation is for the event, rather than the venue.

You say you don't need full commitment just an idea of numbers. If you don't have full commitment, you won't be sure who will pay. With a venue 25mins away, I would expect only the younger members of the party to be interested in staying.

Original poster

MKCH · 03/06/2022 11:01

Ok, I'm going to be really clear about this.

The venue is a tipi venue. There is

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 03/06/2022 11:10

In that case I think it depends on the price of the glamping.
Anything less than £100 you'll have 15 easily. It'll be cheaper than booking and travelling to hotels and guests will opt for convenience.

Original poster

MKCH · 03/06/2022 11:16

MKCH · 03/06/2022 11:01

Ok, I'm going to be really clear about this.

The venue is a tipi venue. There is

Sorry, accidentally hit post.

The venue is a tipi venue. There is a camping field at the venue.

People will be welcome to bring their own tents/caravans/campers.
People will also be welcome to leave and go to a local hotel.
People will also be welcome to go home - of course.

I am considering people being able to have a bell tent instead of any of these options, but this is quite obviously not compulsory and comes at a cost, the same as if they decided to stay at a local hotel. It's simply an option that I would offer and logistically organise if enough people said they were interested. I don't HAVE to do this, and people don't HAVE to say that they want to do this. It'd simply a potential option, so if enough people express interest, I can make the necessary arrangements.

OP posts:

Original poster

MKCH · 03/06/2022 11:21

girlmom21 · 03/06/2022 11:10

It's £200 for two nights - and we're likely going to host a bbq the night before the wedding. So if people want to stay for two nights and make a weekend of it, it's worth it - if they just want to stay for one it almost definitely isn't!

OP posts:

Original poster

MKCH · 03/06/2022 11:23

Also just to say, I went to a wedding g a few years ago that had this arrangement with the glamping so I know it works! A lot of people glamped as they couldn't be bothered to set up camp themselves, but we actually took our own tent and camped. Both were totally fine and no one felt pressured either way!

OP posts:

PostMenPatWithACat · 03/06/2022 11:38

So, if I understand correctly your venue has terms and conditions insisting on take-up x number of additional profit making add-ons. I wouldn’t use a venue that tries to dictate where me or my guests stay.

And I'm sorry but I wouldn’t camp or glamp either. I'd much prefer to stay at a nice hotel, with hot and cold running water and a hairdryer, have a lovely breakfast, get ready at leisure and then drive or taxi to the wedding.

Invitations 8-12 weeks before the wedding; it used to be 6. Everyone vital to the day knows the date in advance. Parents, siblings, grandparents, best man, bridesmaid, etc. Nobody else is vital and no bride is so important she is entitled to organise people's lives a year, or even six months, in advance. Neither is any bride important enough to dictate where people stay and have more than the ceremony and reception revolving around her.

Original poster

MKCH · 03/06/2022 11:40

@PostMenPatWithACat
Oh my giddy...
NO!

No terms and conditions.
No one has to stay anywhere.
No one is telling anyone where they have to stay.

OP posts:

Olderwoman57 · 03/06/2022 11:42

You lost me at fridge magnets I am afraid…..

girlmom21 · 03/06/2022 11:43

Ignore the misers. When do you need to let the venue know about the accommodation?

Original poster

MKCH · 03/06/2022 11:44

Olderwoman57 · 03/06/2022 11:42

You lost me at fridge magnets I am afraid…..

Ha. This is not in the plans. Just a thought as everyone was saying that an early invite might make people forget.

Which is true, but the same goes for a save the date, which is actually what this whole thread was about....

OP posts:

Original poster

MKCH · 03/06/2022 11:46

girlmom21 · 03/06/2022 11:43

Ignore the misers. When do you need to let the venue know about the accommodation?

Ha thank you!

I don't need to let them know anything - the only company I need to book with is the glamping provider (a totally different company) and they haven't given a date, just that for key summer weekends they get booked pretty early and it's first come first served.

The actual venue couldn't care less whether we stayed or not, they just have a camping field available for those that want/need it.

OP posts:

Olderwoman57 · 03/06/2022 11:48

Thank goodness there will not be fridge magnets! Invitations sent now saying people have to confirm now whether they are coming is surely no problem?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 03/06/2022 11:52

If you get your 15 people to sign up for glamping now and something happens in the next 12 months meaning they no longer want to, are you able to cover the cost?

15 people agreeing now might mean only 12 agreeing in 12 months time.

girlmom21 · 03/06/2022 11:53

@MKCH ohhh got you. In that case I wouldn't bother with the glamping unless you're footing the bill, personally. But if you want to then send the invites whenever you want. Save the dates annoy me because they don't have much info.

Original poster

MKCH · 03/06/2022 12:00

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks
Yes, I was thinking about this too. I think if it were on the cusp like that I'd have to assess who it was that had say yes to glamping and then decide whether to go ahead or not. If three tents pulled out then yes we could cover it. If 10 pulled out... I mean we could but it seems a bit ridiculous to.
If it's mainly very close friends and family that say yes then we'll do it anyway.

OP posts:

hatmatcat · 03/06/2022 12:47

Save the dates and then you don't make the cut is a bit 😬

Plantstrees · 03/06/2022 12:55

I know someone who booked glamping tents with a minimum number being required. Unfortunately although friends said ahead of time that they would book them, when it came to it only half the number paid for their tents so the bride and groom had to pay the difference. Not a great situation to be in and I don't think sending out the invitations early will be any help at all. People change their minds.

potteringinmysocks · 03/06/2022 13:03

I think the issue is glamping isn't the same as a hotel and 12 months notice is a long time to commit to a tent. Someone could get pregnant and have a baby during that time, develop an illness etc that would make an expensive tent an no closer to the time.

I'd send save the dates with a note detailing the glamping option. Explain if 15 or more get in contact by X date saying they'd like to do that then you will arrange booking it.

FinallyHere · 03/06/2022 13:48

when it came to it only half the number paid for their tents so the bride and groom had to pay the difference

The last thing you want in the weeks or even days leading up to your wedding is to be worried about people dropping out and your costs escalating.

Insidelaurashead · 03/06/2022 14:16

Sounds like a lovely wedding venue OP. Personally given the current climate and the fact there's a few options for your guests (they can camp in their own tent for free, sort out a taxi gone for the 25 minute journey, stay in a hotel or drive themselves) id be tempted to save yourself the hassle of the glamping and just have your invites give all the other options, and then people can sort themselves out. Im thinking if this were my friends wedding I'd love to glamp and I'd tell you so now, but what if the price of utilities and food and petrol keeps going up and I can't afford it in the end? What if I'm not the only one and a few of your 15 are in that position? May land you with a large bill though no fault of your own or your guests.

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