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Original poster

Not telling venues/services that it's for a wedding - a good idea? cheeky?

29 replies

MimiDaisy11 · 04/06/2021 12:38

I've read a few responses on here and on other places that when you mention a wedding the price shoots up. I remembering hearing about a car rental where putting some white ribbon on the car raised the price by some crazy amount like over £100. I'm on a budget so not fussed about having a wedding look to things.

I'm wondering though if it's a bit cheeky to not mention that it's a wedding or to say it's something vague like a family party.

Did anyone run into issues doing this? Anyone say anything? I think I'll likely be wearing a wedding dress though haven't planned that all out.

OP posts:
Itsthecatsfault · 04/06/2021 12:54

I didn’t tell car company it was for a wedding. Just booked two cars to take myself plus bridesmaid and family and saved £200 compared to a quote I got when mentioning the W word!

I used a mini cab company that specialised in airport transfers using nice cars. No one was going to see me arrive in it, and we walked to our reception venue afterwards (next door to church) so it didn’t seem worthwhile spending the money on.

The drivers were a little surprised when I came out.... 😂

Usernamenotavailabletryanother · 04/06/2021 13:14

We did it for everything- booked the function room in a pub, buffet, booze, got dress made, all for ‘a party’.

The pub wasn’t impressed when we turned up, but we saved about £2k, so bollocks to them Grin

firstimemamma · 04/06/2021 13:15

As soon as our restaurant were told it's a wedding they offered to knock 20% off the bill. We had a lovely day. Not everywhere is the same! Best to be honest imo.

byvirtue · 04/06/2021 13:19

Yes! We tried to book a “private dinner” for 40 in a large room at a venue as soon as I mentioned it was a wedding we weren’t allowed a private dinner (where they allow you to set your own menu) and had to move onto the wedding package (where the menu options were seriously limited) and they had minimum number of 80 guests with all the other nonsense that entailed. Obviously didn’t book it.

Original poster
MimiDaisy11 · 04/06/2021 13:29

Thanks for the responses. I'm still undecided for venue but I'm thinking for hair and make-up of not mentioning that I'm the bride and just saying I'm a guest at a wedding as the make-up artist I want charges double for brides - also I'm going for a look between causal and formal so I don't want anything too elaborate. I'm sure you do get a good service and more attention but she'll do a good job of it no matter what I'm sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
MimiDaisy11 · 04/06/2021 13:30

I forgot to mention in OP that in my case it's just going to be a small wedding of around 12 people.

OP posts:
Littlecaf · 04/06/2021 20:21

For a venue for a smallish (under 30 wedding, I wouldn’t tell them) for a make up artist, I would.

Rainbowqueeen · 04/06/2021 20:30

My understanding is that venues charge more for weddings because they are required to work harder because the care factor from the bridal party and the things they are worried about is so much higher. Which is fair enough.
But your wedding doesn’t sound like it fits into that category so as long as you are mindful of that and aren’t making your vendors work extremely hard to achieve the perfect day for you I think it would be fine

CatherineMaitland · 04/06/2021 20:59

Ex-wedding caterer here. Sometimes people would do this but it was always fairly obvious that the party was actually a wedding.

Weddings usually involve longer days, more elaborate menus, more equipment, and more staff preparation, so they'd be highly likely to be more expensive than say an evening birthday party dinner.

hilariousnamehere · 04/06/2021 21:02

Some of your suppliers may default and refuse to go ahead if you book as a party and it's actually a wedding. I'm a photographer and I'm not insured to shoot weddings (I do businesses and events and boudoir) - so if you were to book me for a family event and then I arrived and it was actually your wedding, I'd have to leave as I can't shoot uninsured.

I suspect quite a lot of service providers have the same issue.

KEVINChristmas · 04/06/2021 21:03

I did it with my hairdresser, just paid for an 'up do' and when she asked if I was going anywhere nice, just said I was getting married. She seemed surprised but it really wasn't worth paying for the marriage treatment.
We did have quite a low key wedding though.

Elverybaby · 04/06/2021 21:10

Some venues guarantee only one wedding a day, so just watch you don't accidentally become wedding #2 at the venue, the other wedding party might not be too happy.

Original poster
MimiDaisy11 · 05/06/2021 14:51

Thanks for the responses. There are some things I hadn't consider. I'm still thinking of doing a mix of telling and not telling, as there are some services where they're not going to know like makeup and hair - and especially since the packages they have for weddings don't really suit my little event. I also appreciate that some wedding charges are higher as there's more pressure and expectations on service but like I said it's a small and somewhat causal affair.

For things like photography, I was going to tell them it's for a wedding as it's going to be obvious since we'd want them at the registrar's office for the ceremony. I didn't think of things like insurance so will look at that for car companies etc but I'm not sure what special insurance there would be but best to look into it anyway.

OP posts:
LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 06/06/2021 12:05

@hilariousnamehere

Some of your suppliers may default and refuse to go ahead if you book as a party and it's actually a wedding. I'm a photographer and I'm not insured to shoot weddings (I do businesses and events and boudoir) - so if you were to book me for a family event and then I arrived and it was actually your wedding, I'd have to leave as I can't shoot uninsured.

I suspect quite a lot of service providers have the same issue.

@MimiDaisy11 Genuine question, what are the terms of your insurance that means you are covered for a family event but not a wedding reception? Is it specifically excluded? Or do you mean you can’t photograph inside a church?
LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 06/06/2021 12:06

Sorry OP, quoted you by mistake

Dany165 · 06/06/2021 12:16

For makeup, if you are going to spend on a photographer, spend on the MUA. Honestly it was the one big spend I kept when we slimmed down for our covid wedding last summer. So worth it. The photographer was terrible but I looked great in all the photos even though I'm usually very unphotogenic. I was so grateful to her. So I would personally tell her you are the bride as they normally give you a higher finish and longer lasting products to ensure all the photos are good.

Original poster
MimiDaisy11 · 06/06/2021 14:50

I have used the make-up artist I'm thinking of booking before and the make-up lasted well and looked really good in photos. I'm just having photos at the beginning for the ceremony and not after so it wouldn't be too long between the make-up and the ceremony. I will think more about it but if I went for the wedding package and got the trial run etc it would be quite an increase in price (£50 vs £200).

OP posts:
TheLeadbetterLife · 06/06/2021 14:59

I had a very low key wedding (room above a pub, buffet, friend doing the photos, did my own make-up) but I am crap at doing my own hair, so I booked at my normal hairdresser at the end of my road and strolled over on the morning. I just told them I was going to a friend’s wedding to save all the embarrassing chat / up selling.

hilariousnamehere · 07/06/2021 08:02

@LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee it's a good question! When you take out insurance as a professional photographer (for public liability, professional indemnity and to cover your kit), you have to declare all the different types of photography you do. I don't shoot weddings at all, so don't pay the extra premium to be covered for weddings and am not covered if I attend to shoot one.

This is admittedly less likely to be a problem if you choose a wedding photographer, but they may have their own issues if your contract with them says family event and it's actually a wedding - it would be a risk you take as most pros won't shoot uninsured.

I know it can feel like as soon as you say wedding the cost of everything to do with an event goes up, but it's because weddings are usually one-off, high stakes events :)

camelfinger · 07/06/2021 08:07

I think one thing to bear in mind is whether your guests know if it’s been booked as a wedding. They might have higher expectations of service at a wedding than if it was a normal party and may feel a bit put out if staff aren’t willing to help them.

Ariela · 07/06/2021 08:32

A few years ago, my friend wanted her wedding reception at a particular hotel-with-a-view. It was non-weekend, and for about 80 people, however she didn't want the wedding menu choices, so she booked for a family gathering for a light lunch and afternoon tea. It was about £20/head cheaper than their 'wedding package' menus..

AmperoBlue · 12/06/2021 12:59

I was looking at Villas in France for mine . Some advertised for weddings and parties. Some didn’t but were open to our small wedding with “ older” guests. One place said it wouldn’t hire out the house for less than €10,000 fir a wedding despite it being only €3,000 normally!
We got a brilliant place in the end and the owners renewed their vows there so was perfectly set up.
I was concerned about not getting the deposits back on a venue if we lied.

thebookworm1 · 02/07/2021 05:45

Yes I have a Photographer friend who was booked for a christening and when he turned up it was a wedding. He was traumatised, left and got so much abuse from the couple he had to leave the profession.

It doesn’t sound like what you’re planning to do but there’s a reason why weddings are more expensive for vendors. They are 20 times the stress.

miltonj · 02/07/2021 05:51

Be honest. When working with a venue, you want them in your side.... especially in COVID times as they will be more helpful snd lenient if they are in a good mood with you!

Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep · 02/07/2021 06:12

I'm divided. I totally understand your reasons and would be tempted to do similar myself, but I've heard of so many small businesses closing because of lack of wedding business that I think I would feel very guilty stiffing the MUA and hairdresser out of much needed income after the last difficult 18 months