Quick overview: my fiancé and I got engaged recently and are planning a wedding for next year. His sister is getting married this October and his parents are contributing a large sum to pay for the costs. His mum had said they would like to contribute to our wedding but did not say how much. We just sat down to work out the budget so went back to his mum to ask (very appreciatively!) how much they were thinking of contributing so we could take that into account. Fiancé’s mum says his dad has said he does not think they should contribute because tradition says that the brides family should pay... my parents are not in a position to pay (they are making a kind contribution but dad owns his own business which is struggling so I would not expect or ask for any more than they have offered!). Of course we can get on with the wedding without their contribution, but my fiancé is so hurt by this decision and feels it puts me and my family in an awkward position. Fiancé and I don’t believe in these old fashioned gender traditions so him saying something like this doesn’t sit well with us anyway! But fiancé is also upset that his dad doesn’t wish to treat him fairly with how they are treating his sister. His dad has also not spoken to my fiancé about this, just relied on his mum to be the messenger. To some extent this is not about the money but on fiancés dad being so hurtful to fiancé, but would it be our of line to speak to him about all of this? I feel it will massively impact on their relationship and not sure if fiancés dad is quite realising the significance of him “not wanting” to support his son in this way. (Note - his parents are well off and can afford to contribute, hence the initial offer). Any advice about what I or fiancé should do would be much appreciated!