What have you learned about planning a wedding?

[Doobigetta]

That might help others? I'll start....

• deciding who to invite is by far the most stressful part. And the two most controversial elements of the guest list are Children and Cousins.
• the more loudly someone protests that "it's your wedding, you must do what you want", the more of their own agenda they'll then try and push on you.
• trying on wedding dresses isn't particularly magical or emotional. It's mostly standing in front of strangers in your knickers before being bundled into a weird lampshade/sofa-type construction two sizes larger than you'd normally wear, that then won't do up.
• 99.999% of websites that appear to sell a wide range of reasonably priced bridesmaids' dresses turn out to be based in China and have review ratings of 1/5.
• the existence of the 0.00001% of websites that do not conform to the above very much depends on your definition of "wide range" and "reasonably priced".
• wedding DJs do not like references to cringey patter.
• you are expected to develop opinions about things like whether your cake table is round or square.
• everyone hates hen dos, until it's your turn to have one and you say you don't want one.

Anyone else?

Favours are an absolute waste of money, don't bother.
Many venues can do fake flowers in vases as certrepieces rather than spending a billion pounds on real ones - ours did once asked and it was free. Looked absolutely fine.
Tell your photographer who important people like your grandmothers are. I have a number of beautiful pictures of my aunt's mother in law as he assumed she was my granny as she shoved to the front. None of my actual granny
If you're going to do something like the little 'write your name in a heart and put it in a frame' (which I love bit wasn't a thing when I got married sadly) or another kind of guestbook -put them on the tables for the meal, and mention it in one of the speeches. Most people don't actually go over to the lovely table with the guestbook etc, and elderly aunts and grandparents tend to leave early before the MOH goes round nagging people to sign it so there are loads of people missing. Wish I'd done this as a lot of my elderly relatives have since passed away and it would be nice to have this.
Dance in your dress in the shop before you buy it!! Even if you look a bit silly you need to be able to move! Better than looking silly at the wedding because you are stuck moving like a Dalek.
Nominate someone to bring your phone and lipstick. Mine got forgotten and i was touching up with my MOHs lippy all day which is fine but I didn't suit it as well as the expensive one I'd bought specially and left in the kitchen!!

Being organised!!! I was terrible with organisation to begin with but I signed up to the ukbride website and found it really helpful - now I've got lots of spreadsheets on the go and have to say being organised is the most important thing!!

That it's really not that difficult. Venue, food, florist, photographer and entertainment. The rest are just extra little bits which won't be hard to sort out.

I think it's like everything - just relax and go with the flow and it'll work out fine. I'm very lucky that mine and his family both take this same approach though!

Ask each of your providers how much does it cost for a car (of how ever posh you want) to take me 5 miles on a Saturday afternoon and then wait and take me 10 miles an hour later if they reply about £60

Then say how much would it cost for that to be a wedding car and they reply £600 then ask them why?

Just cos of the word wedding!!!!!!!

You’ll never please everyone so don’t even try, do what you and your future wife/husband want.

If you book your wedding in May, some fucker will upstage you

Skip favours, skip chair covers, skip a cake, skip dancing if you'd rather not...

Don't use the word wedding reception until after a booking and price is agreed.

Bridesmaid bouquets can double as table decor, winter dates are much cheaper and guests less likely to be away.

Jewellery making classes were a fun way to spend time with DP and get one-of-a-kind rings too.

Food and drink are the most expensive bits. Get them right and no-one really notices the rest!

Oh, and i agree about dress shopping. After a hideous shop experience, i bought a few online with free returns. I loved my choice.

You don't need to have everything available and it doesn't matter if things aren't 'perfect' on the day.

Your guests are the most important thing on the day. Seeing the faces of old friends and family there to support you. So if you have to mull over whether to invite someone or not at length, you should invite them.

If you organise your own reception, rather than go with a set hotel package, it can be a really lovely, personal event, and you can potentially save a lot of money on drink, etc - the downside is that you become the events managers as well as the bride and groom, so be prepared to delegate a few key jobs to your ushers/bridesmaids/family on the day, so you don't end up spending your own wedding reception looking for a cake knife and making sure the speeches don't over run.

Everything costs more than you hope! Make sure you have a slush fund for unexpected costs.

I have a specific book/folder for all my planning with tasks to be completed each month. I’m an over organised by nature so this is helping keep me calm and make sure nothing gets missed off.

So long as everyone is fed, nobody is dead and you are married by the end of the day then nothing else really matters.

What I learnt is that on the wedding day you have to be 'selfish'. You've done all the organising, you've sorted out your wedding guests and everything else, it's taken months of hard work and on the day itself you must think about yourself.
On the morning of my wedding I had a leisurely breakfast with my parents, had a deep bath, washed my hair, then the hair & make up person arrived and then my bridesmaids. We opened a bottle of champagne, had a tray of M&S sandwiches, had a chat and a laugh together. I felt relaxed as we left for the church.

We've been to too many weddings where the non drinkers aren't catered for. By the time you add up teetotallers, pregnant women, recovering alcoholics, drivers & folks on antibiotics, you'll have a lot of folks who won't be drinking at all. Please please give them more than just water to drink - give them as much choice as you give the boozers and plan the reception so it's also fun for people who aren't drunk.

Do it the way that YOU want to. Dont waste money feeding people who don't really mean anything to you. If you want to wear your hair down but your mum is going on at you to have tiara, bun and veil (like mine did), wear it down. If you want a small wedding but people are pressuring you to invite x number of guests to avoid causing upset by excluding specific people who have no real importance to you then stick to your guns. It costs a LOT to feed guests at a wedding. I got pressured into a big wedding and I am really grateful for the level of financial support we received from parents but some of our 'guests' couldn't even be bothered to go to the effort of writing a card, stole floral displays without asking us (we had a heart made from roses which I really wanted to take home) and basically use it as an excuse for an almighty piss up.