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Would we be wrong to not go to this wedding?

57 replies

proudmummy93 · 05/03/2017 09:26

Name changed as may be identifying. Anyway I'll try to keep this brief. Dh and I got married nearly 2 years ago, in a city in north west England (where we live). A friend of his who he has known for quite a while and her partner came to the wedding. They live in Scotland, quite a way away, past Inverness, in a small town I believe, so a long way away regardless. They don't have any children, and both drive, so they split the drive. And we'd arranged somewhere for them to stay. Also it was very straightforward to get from the registry office to our reception venue, and we made sure everyone had a way to get there.
They have set a date for their wedding- this summer, on the isle of Skye. This is even further away than where they live. We haven't had a proper look yet, but it would mean flying. Do you need passports to fly there? (dh's password is expired so he'd need a new one if so. Also mine is still on my maiden name as I only use it for ID. And lo doesn't have one either. We never go abroad so didn't bother getting new ones until we need them). So if so we'd need new passports. Also we'd probably have to travel to a different city to fly, as there didn't seem to be any flights from our city (though it was only a quick look, so could be wrong there).
We would have to fly there, find a way to get from the airport to the hotel or b&b (we don't drive at all). Then we'd have to get from where we are staying to the church, then it's a 35 minute drive from the church to the reception venue, then back to the hotel or b&b. Again we wouldn't have a clue how to get there or anything like that. (I mean I'm assuming they could tell us all that, but it's all extra for them to do).
They have sent a list of hotels and b&b's near to the reception venue, so we could have a look and see what's nearest. Then of course it's coming home as well.
We would love to go, of course we would. They come here for our wedding, and for our sons first birthday party, but they drive, and knew exactly where they were going.
They have said we can bring lo, as there may be other children there.
Part of me thinks maybe we should try and see how much it'd cost and how to get there, and go the 3 of us. Or even go without lo (in laws would gladly have him), so it's a bit easier.
But there's also part of me who thinks its a bit too complicated and far away, especially as we don't drive so would have to rely on other people or taxis to get around. (If it was mainland Scotland where they live it wouldn't be so difficult).
Would it be wrong of us to say we are very very sorry but we can't make it, but we'd love to see pictures after, and could perhaps arrange to go to see them at home, that's a train or 2 at best, which is much easier, especially with a little one.

OP posts:
Tilly35 · 05/03/2017 11:06

You can get an overnight sleeper train from London, then a hire car to take over on the ferry means you can make a holiday of it. Skye is stunning, ideal first holiday with LO!

gamerchick · 05/03/2017 11:07

It sounds to me you could do with being pushed out of your comfort zone. I think you should make the effort and I also believe you'll find it liberating when you've managed it. It's not that scary once you've done it once.

Re the passport as an aside, you can still use it to travel abroad... just book the tickets in your maiden name.

Tabbylady · 05/03/2017 11:17

If it's a rural wedding then there may well be small buses put on or other guests primed to take people around. When DB got married on Mull (not even a bridge so no public transport!) We picked up a bunch of guests from the ferry in our people carrier and took them to their accommodation - it was just part of the wedding planning as everyone knew it was a pest for folk

Might be worth asking if there are lift share arrangements - they might not be aware you don't drive. If they made the effort to come all the way to your wedding fingers crossed they're kind people who won't be offended by that question!

HamletsSister · 05/03/2017 12:08

Overnight sleeper puts you in Fort William (then train to Mallaig, then ferry then bus) or Inverness (bus).

There is no sleeper to Skye, although you can get the train to Kyle and then bus / taxi across the bridge.

But, from NW England, train to Glasgow, then train to Mallaig (Harry Potter line) then ferry is quick, and very scenic.

Iamastonished · 05/03/2017 18:15

"You can get an overnight sleeper train from London, then a hire car to take over on the ferry means you can make a holiday of it"

You haven't read the OP at all have you Hmm

They live in North West England and don't drive.

Try again.

SoulAccount · 05/03/2017 18:39

OMG, this thread!

OP, check the website Rome2Rio which gives you all the travel options plus costs if you put in your town to Skye.

Ask your friends about sharing lifts etc once there.

AND

To fly within the UK you need approved photographic id, which means driving licence, which you do not have, or passport.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/03/2017 18:45

It's just Skye - it's hardly the end of the earth.

Totally doable on public transport, if not the simplest, but totally doable. You'll find everyone drives the inbetween bits of the ceremony/reception and will be happy to give you a lift. Stay near the reception venue.

It's a beautiful part of the world, go!

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