Can someone please explain save the date cards?

[LadyFlumpalot]

What is the point? Am I missing something vital here?

Oh, that's interesting. But that's a practical issue, then, which no longer applies. So, I still don't understand how it's become 'good manners' to criticise other people for failing to subscribe to some notion of good manners that's based on a historical booking system.

Not that that's relevant to this thread any more, just a chip on my shoulder.

We got married in a very touristy bit of the world, just outside the school holidays.

Had we not had absolutely firm times and arrangements well in advance, save the day cards for people needing to book accommodation would have been kind.

Also some people did stay and make a few days holiday out of the trip.

You don't need specially printed cards to "save the date". An email or handwritten note (for people who don't have email) is fine.

I guess it's just to let people know the date so they can choose to keep it free if they want to, without expecting a definite commitment, which is fair enough really. No need for formal save the date cards really though - email / phonecall (depending who it is) would suffice I think.

I struggled with the letting people know/not being sucked in by the wedding industry thing. In the end I got sucked in by social media instead... made a save the date picture, uploaded it to facebook, and tagged all who were invited in it (set to private so only those tagged could see!). Emailed the few (like, 4 people) who weren't on facebook.

Ended up getting over excited and sending out the actual invitations a month and a half later, so probably didn't even need to bother doing that...

I don't mind save the dates but it's not always clear if its day or evening or if kids/ partners are invited- cos it's not a proper invitation. I wouldn't like to plan my holiday around an evening do- so would find it a bit rude to get a save the date and then not a full invite.

I certainly don't think you should send a save the date card to anyone who isn't going to get a full invitation.

Ok, I will send them - but only to family and friends who live a distance away who would have to make accommodation and travel arrangements. Oh crumbs, this is a minefield of etiquette issues!

To be honest, we just relied on the fact that MIL would have told everyone we'd ever met about the arrangements in inexhaustible detail long before the invitations went out .

I would send them. A friend got married last year, I couldn't go because I had booked a holiday. I really wanted to but didn't think I would be on the invite list (as we were quite new friends). I felt awful when the invite came! If she'd sent a save the date card I would have done exactly that. Thankfully, she understood.

most weddings i've been to recently have had save the date cards, so i don't find it unusual, and it is useful to be able to mark it on the calendar. most of the final arrangements that you would see on the invitation (exact timings, order of proceedings etc) are nowhere near finalised, but the venues are booked and they want as many people as possible to be able to make it, so the save the date card is a useful placemarker

(i actually wrote 'STD card' to save typing, but realised what that looked like and wrote it out in full)

We just sent an email to everyone we knew we were going to invite as soon as we'd booked the venue (just over a year in advance). It was a necessity really as lots were a long way away or wanted to make childcare arrangements etc (we did invite children but had a lot of friends who didn't want to bring them!). Couldn't be bothered with hassle/cost of cards though, plus the number of cards we've carefully stuck to the fridge and then mysteriously lost... at least an email is still in your inbox.

Also (still a bit about this) we had a wedding website... just a basic free one, but meant again that we didn't have to deal with questions from people who'd lost the invitations, and it also meant we could put loads of extra info on there rather than sending parcel-sized invitations! It also had an RSVP function, and some of our guests did use it.

We're gonna do some as we're getting married on a bank holiday weekend (next August....feels like bloody ages but in the "world of weddings" apparently not!). Got inspired by pinterest and going to do something a little like this

They are a good idea, and you can spend as much (gold leaf hand written cards) or as little (an email) as you like, at the end of the day it's informing people of the date for practical reasons ... nothing more, nothing less.

sassy that's class

I used it as a good excuse to make another thing, I love making things! I made lovely little cards that looked like old fashioned tickets, complete with a little perforated end with the date on it. They looked fantastic and everyone loved them!

I got to be creative and it cost hardly anything. We gave them to most people, so didn't even need to send many.

Sassy those wooden save the dates look great, but will be heavy to post out to everyone! Something to think about.

great idea even for those of us without cosmic social lives. means you can book a hotel cheap as it is so far in advance, plus any travel needed.

Etiquette is actually 3 months before the wedding that invites should go out.

DH and I have received two save the date cards and were then invited to the wedding/civil partnership. Highly unlikely we would be double booked but we could have cancelled to go to the w/cp if possible.