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Original poster

Wedding day timetable - comments please...

86 replies

VenetiaLanyon · 07/04/2011 10:31

Church service 2pm - 2.45pm / 3ish. Few photos outside church.
Coach to take guests to reception 15 mins away
3.30ish guests arrive at venue for reception. Photos, plus drinks and savoury canapes served from 3.30pm. Children's entertainers from 3.30pm
6pm Children fed in separate dining room and then entertainment in evening creche
6pm Line up
6.30pm speeches
7.15pm wedding breakfast served
8.45pm cake cutting and coffee and cake served
9.15pm cocktails and first dance (DJ)
10.30pm evening food
All over at 1am.

In particular am worried that: 2pm is too early to start, and is drinks reception bit is too long before the breakfast; will people get bored /tired / twitchy? Would you shorten it by starting everything 30 mins later? Any other concerns?

T v much

OP posts:

nickelbabyhatcher · 08/04/2011 14:01

aww, Venetia sorry if we've effectively scuppered your plans :(

Original poster

VenetiaLanyon · 08/04/2011 14:03

Don't worry, I'm made of sterner stuff ; 'tis splendid to have feedback at a stage when I can consider what to do about it.

OP posts:

nickelbabyhatcher · 08/04/2011 14:03

good, I was worried you hated us all.

I love a good 80s disco, though

Pancakeflipper · 08/04/2011 14:07

Perfect Venetia - perfect .

Is my invite in the post?

ruddynorah · 08/04/2011 14:13

If you're insisting on food at 7.15 you need to make sure your guests know. I went to a wedding where we had to mingle for 3hours. It was horrendous. Had no idea what time we'd eat. Nearly bought crisps from the bar but thought that might be rude.

Kbear · 08/04/2011 14:19

Do not let your guests drink for two hours with no food (men dont eat canapes in my experience.. but they do drink beer...) back to the venue sharpish, line up, sit down, eat, speeches, party in that order. If OH doesn't want to wait to make his speech tell him you'll find a groom that will!! That'll sort him out LOL

DandyLioness · 08/04/2011 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickelbabyhatcher · 08/04/2011 14:23

ooh, or!
each person can have 7 pieces of paper, either in different colours, or with the name of the canape on it.
they hand one over to the waiters in exchange for a canape. once their papers have gone, they've had all their fair share!

HipposGoBeserk · 08/04/2011 14:24

I recently went to a wedding where the children were fed early and separately. It worked very well. People like me who have younger children were free to go and help cut up Angora and Cuthbert's fish fingers and limit their intravenous ketchup intake. Also gave me a chance to meet the creche workers and assure them that if junior needed me for any reason whatsoever at ALL to PLEASE come and get me (I'd be hovering just outside the door just in case ). People with older children could chat and mingle and drink, safe in the knowledge that their children were being fed nearby and were safe. Then the happy, full children watched a magician while the grown-ups ate, and pretty much everyone was undisturbed for the whole of the meal and the speeches. By 7ish I was able to slip away and put my thoroughly exhausted, well fed, happy children to bed upstairs with a babysitter, and return to the party where people were table hopping and finishing the breakfast wine. Cheese and cake at 10ish I think. There may even have been more food later - I can't remember for some reason .

As a completely ott neurotic mother, it worked really well for me and I got to thoroughly enjoy my dear friend's wedding.

Oh, but the children who hadn't gone to bed were very welcome to join in the dancing though - aren't children on the dance floor one of the lovliest things about a wedding?

Original poster

VenetiaLanyon · 08/04/2011 14:24

OP posts:

Original poster

VenetiaLanyon · 08/04/2011 14:32

Thanks HipposGoBeserk. Thought that if we matched the line-up with children's tea timing, parents who wanted to supervise their DC's meal-time could mix and match before their own dinner was served.

OP posts:

DandyLioness · 08/04/2011 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BonzoDooDah · 08/04/2011 14:40

Another one here to say I'd be RAVENOUS by 7 if the wedding had been at 2. To get to a wedding at 2 even if you live 5 minutes away you need to have changed and prepared and gathered everything and left and parked or walked and arrived in time. So even for locals they will be getting ready from 12. So if you are traveling from further you'd have had breakfast only. Canapes are only tiddly things and with booze and the standing round I'd be well hammered (and was at one friend's wedding where the photos took 2 hours and the champagne was free and free flowing).

Also I agree the speeches would be better during the meal as rounding eveyone up to listen would be a right pain - especially when hungry. Could they not do the speeches between 1st and 2nd course if it's that much of a worry? Or get them to neck a bottle of KALMS as they work wonders

I tried to have a non-traditional wedding but then as we worked out all the things we wanted to do it showed that the traditional format is there because it works! It's been refined over the years and pretty much does what you need.

Whatever anyway don't go getting too stressed about the whole thing. Everyone's there to have fun and will do so no matter what.

BonzoDooDah · 08/04/2011 14:43

Oh and is there a reason why you don't want photos of the children?
Ugly friends = ugly bratlings?

Original poster

VenetiaLanyon · 08/04/2011 15:09

BonzoDooDah, nooo, we def want photos of DC, and all friends. By farthe most photogenic of the lot of us. Maybe we should start the whole thing later to give people more of a chance to have lunch first.

Sadly the speeches earlier thing is a must for DP...prefer them later myself, but it matters to him to get it out of the way.

OP posts:

nickelbabyhatcher · 08/04/2011 15:09

oh, no, don't start the weddign later!

that would be worse!
everyone loves a day out, and you will find the day goes too quickly for you to enjoy if you start later!

amberleaf · 08/04/2011 16:02

Even if you start the wedding later that doesnt necessarily mean people will get a chance to eat pre wedding.

Running round looking for juniors good shoes...wrapping pressie etc etc does not make for a leisurely morning!

I too would be starving/pissed by the time you plan to serve proper dinner and canapes are never enough!

I think you are judging others capacity to go without food by your own amazing go without food abilities!

Original poster

VenetiaLanyon · 08/04/2011 16:32

Would be interested to know what time you lot do eat normally? I don't know anyone that eats as early as 7pm who isn't a pre-schooler...

Problem is that we can't get access to the area where the kids are going to eat until 6pm...and was wanting to make sure that they were happily occupied eating whilst the line-up / speeches were happening

Am trying again; trouble is, don't think we are allowed into room for kid's tea until 6pm, so this might not work...help....could we do the line up actually going into the drinks reception at 4pm? Problem is that even if we change it around we inevitably need 1) 40 mins for photos 2) 30 mins for line-up 3) 45 mins for speeches before anyone gets anything other than a canape or 7? That means at least 2 hours before anyone gets their breakfast whichever way you cut it....

Church service 2.30pm - 3.15pm. Only informal photos very quickly outside church.
3.30pm Bride and groom head off in car and guests amble reluctantly coachwards
3.45pm Coaches leave
4.00pm guests arrive at venue for reception. Formal photos for about 40 mins, plus drinks and savoury canapes served. Children's entertainers
5.15pm Line up
5.15pm Children fed in separate dining room and then entertainment in evening creche
5.45pm Sit down with champagne and speeches (and bread rolls for the ravenous / those who lost out in the canape roulette?)
6.30pm wedding breakfast served
8pm cake cutting and coffee and cake served
8.00pm cocktails and first dance (DJ)
10.45pm evening food
All over at 1am.

OP posts:

mushroomsandolives · 08/04/2011 16:45

Revised format sounds great to me!

nickelbabyhatcher · 08/04/2011 16:51

we eat as soon as we have cooked it - on a weekday, that can be anywhere between 6 and 7, depending how easy the food is.

Most weekdays, I have to be out of the house efore half past 6, so DH has to cook before I get home, or it's straight from the freezer.

And normally lunch is 3:30 (cos that's when DH gets in from work)

mushroomsandolives · 08/04/2011 16:51

Ps. I started a chat thread a few months back about what time people eat their evening meal (DP and I had a silly argument about it so I did a MN survey to provide proof I was right!). It was almost a 50/50 split between those that eat early, 5pm ish, and those that eat around 7pm ish. Not many ate later than that (certainly not 9pm, I would be absolutely starving by then). But even if you normally ate your dinner at 7, it's the time between lunch, amount of booze and length if time hanging around mingling that makes me like your new timetable much better than the old one.

Please think of it as constructive opinion giving rather than us lot being difficult!

nickelbabyhatcher · 08/04/2011 16:52

If I'm out all day at an event, then I like to eat regularly, so 1 until 6 would be right, any longer and I would be hungry, or at least weary.

nickelbabyhatcher · 08/04/2011 16:54

Quick question, though.

Do you need the line up?
That's where everyone shakes the B&G's families hands and says "you must be very proud", right?
Most people don't bother with it anymore, because noone ever knows what to say (and if you're in a long, corsetted dress with high heels, you won't want to be standing for ages saying hi to people...

Original poster

VenetiaLanyon · 08/04/2011 16:57

I don't get home until 7pmish, and so getting dinner on the table before 9pm is a challenge, and quite often it's 10pm. I think that this is not unusual for our friends either, so maybe I don't need to worry quite as much as if I were feeding you, nickelbabyhatcher (unless, in a wild quirk of fate, you turn out to be on the guest list )

OP posts:

nickelbabyhatcher · 08/04/2011 17:06

sorry.
I do feel funny if i don't eat regularly.
even more so now i'm hatching - makes me a ravenous beast!

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