Is a picnic wedding reception a daft idea?

[melodyangel]

We are hoping to get married next year and were thinking of having picnic in a private garden for our reception. Really don't want anything lavish and need to keep costs to a minimum so we were thinking of buying/making picnic blankets and hampers for people and then asking them to bring the food, with us providing wine, soft drinks, cake and bacon sarnies in the early evening. Are we being too optimistic regarding weather and how would you feel if you were asked to provide your own picnic?

Opinions please!

I can see you need to keep costs to a minimum but I think that 40 people can easily be catered fro relatively cheaply, especially if half are children.

I'm planning a menu for a party for 30 adults at the moment and its really not going to cost that much, especially as you can buy/make and freeze stuff in advance.

Can i just add that i did the catering myself (with the help of my wonderful sister!) for 80 guests. Just buffet type stuff so it can be done cheaply.

Sort of thought people would prefer to bring along what they actually like , and share but I'm happy to do the food just want it to be a really homely wedding without too much outsourcing.

Helped cater for a party for 100 back in the spring so I think I could do it.

The cost is a factor but most important is to make it as easy going and free form as possible.

Only my mum and dad would have to come far. Most people live within walking distance and part of the plan is to pay for taxi's for those who need them to get home, so everyone can have a drink or three!

Love the idea of everyone being part of the day, hope so as have so very many favours to ask although they all know I'll repay them all in babysitting and cake!

I saw a really stylish picnic wedding in a magazine: small baskets, a stripy teatowel in each and sandwiches etc. and a half bottle of champagne... but you are definitely going to have to have a marquee (and they are very expensive) or at the very least gazebos (much cheaper).

I do think it is cheeky to ask people to bring their own food, especially when you have so few guests. Could you ask as gifts from parents the wine and then you do or pay someone else to do the food?

The only food I think you could ask people to bring would be cakes - rather than have a single cake we asked friends who would like to if they wanted to bring something baked (me and DH baked too). We bought vintage style pretty cake stands from Tiger and had a table of all the different cakes/muffins/cup cakes/jam tarts all sorts. It went down very well indeed and looked very pretty (and I sold the cake stands to another bride afterwards).

There is a very pretty traditional village hall in Richmond or is it Ham (somewhere nearby) I remember going to a party in by the way... maybe much cheaper. than the marquee...

One of my favourite weddings recently was a very good friend who asked everyone to bring a dish rather than buy a wedding present. Made everything feel communal and happy and like we'd done something to share in the day.

Other mates had the whole traditional marquee thing but made hampers to put on each table - much cheaper to buy nice cheese/meat/bread and make some salads, they said, than fork out for caterers. And it was LOVELY.

you can't ask people to bring food to a wedding!

Not asking for wedding gifts and were thinking of giving every one a picnic hamper to fill and then they can keep them afterwards.
Aaaarrrrrggh! The washing up oh forgot about that, don't want to send them home with loads of washing up to do ...this may need a little more thought!

Marquee would be over a hard standing which we would cover. It would be our biggest expense. Would love to have the reception in a village hall but there is nothing like that near us. Really wanted it to be a local wedding!

So in summary
Picnic - risky but could be lovely.
Food - provide a buffet or ask people to bring something to share or a mix of both.
Marquee (or similar) - an absolute must.

Thank you everyone!
Any other ideas are very gratefully received. As you can tell wedding planning is not my strong point actually it terrifies me but marriage ...can't wait!

I've been to a really fantastic leaving party along these lines.

The hosts provided copious drinks, plus a prettily decorated garden/barn area. They asked each group of guests to bring along a dish to share. They co-ordinated it a bit so that some people brought savoury and some brought sweet things. Then there was dancing to a local band.

All the guests knew it was going to be a big picnic, so came prepared for chilly weather, with rugs and folding chairs.

You would definitely need a wet-weather plan though.

Congratulations!

I think it's a sweet idea, but to be honest I can see it spiraling out of control far too easily (as far as I've seen, weddings have a tendency to do that anyway!).

It's quite likely that before you know it, you'll be fielding dozens of requests from people who want you to tell them what to bring, asking if there's a fridge to put their special chilled desert in, asking if you can make sure there'll be enough veggie/vegan/nut free stuff for them, reminding you they hate cold meat or lettuce, trying to tell you about some idea they've got that will take hours of your time and theirs ... it could get very complicated. And that is the last thing you want just before you get married.

I just don't see a way you could do it without it requiring a huge amount of time/organization right before the wedding.

"Just very close family and friends, lots of kids" - sounds like the perfect wedding to me. Ignore the nay sayers - if people know it's a picnic I'm sure they'll dress appropriately and I can't imagine anyone who falls into those categories objecting to bringing a dish along. They can bring rugs, chairs, brollies(!) - just as if they were preparing to go to any outdoor summer event (Glyndebourne, Ascot, Henley). I hope you have the most fabulous day - you sound absolutely lovely.

Sorry but I would really not want to go to a picnic wedding because:

uk weather - could be glorious, could be grey and soggy.

sitting on the floor. I'm not old but there's no way I would want to be sitting on the floor in my posh clothes! It's fine if you're out with the kids and wearing jeans and trainers, but in posh frock and heels? No.

It's kind of like asking people to bring a packed lunch isn't it? i.e. not very special.

On the other hand I would be delighted to be asked to bring a dish. I love that kind of thing where everyone's contributed and the compliments go flying around the room!

Streamers, balloons, coloured paper plate &, napkins. Depending on what month you have the wedding, you can plant flowers ahead of time to cut for the day, and stick them in watering cans and glass jars, that would be picnic-y, tied with thin ribbons, or raffia, and stick them all around. If you have a wheel barrow, you could use it for a giant ice bucket for cold drinks. You can get baskets and other containers at thrift shops, to fill with wildflowers. You could even spray paint the baskets to co-ordinate with the steamers etc.
I'd set up one table to put the picnic foods on, plates and tea, coffee, wine and so on. Then you could decorate that table as well with baskets of daisies and other summer plants, lots of ferns can be found for free in woods!

Congratulations. Your plan sounds wonderful, melodyangel. It's so nice when guests get the chance to contribute - everyone feels like they've 'done their bit', and it's a great talking point.

I think you could easily manage the bulk of the savoury catering for 40 people (a dozen quiches, some big bowls of salad, nice bread rolls etc) but perhaps ask everyone to consider bringing a pudding or cake to share? Just make sure there's a place to leave them when they arrive and have your meal early so that the food doesn't go off (you don't want 10 trifles sitting around in the sun, giving everyone food poisoning ).

Do you have any musical friends? If so, you could ask them to bring their instruments for pre- or post- dinner music (most amateur musicians are delighted at being asked to play, IME)?

Also, if it's a garden wedding, you could ask people to bring games along - croquet, boules etc. Whatever they've got sitting in their sheds.

I think this is a lovely idea, but to do it well will involve more planning than something more traditional.

You will really have to provide the food at a wedding IMO. I'm also not sure about giving people the "chance" to contribute.

I contribute to parties I am invited to by showing up when asked, dressing as advised, bringing a present and getting involved with the festivities. I don't want to have to get involved with the catering. When I'm hosting I do that.

That's OK spidookly, if melodyangel provided the basics but invited people to bring a cake/pudding if they wanted to then those who don't wouldn't have to.

I think though, it depends on who your friends and family are - mine, without exception, love to contribute so if melodyangel's are the same she will be overrun with food.

Nice idea, highly likely to get rained off, remember this year and last year, July and August have been very very wet :(

And I would be put off by a bring your own food picnic. I wouldn't want to sit on the ground or walk around a garden with my nice shoes on.
And I wouldn't want the hassle of carrying food around during the wedding itself or the stress of making something that nobody will eat!

By all means chuck the guests out in the garden, but have a simple buffet inside.

Congrats by the way!

My family is the same. They probably think I love to contribute, but I don't love it. It just creates stress.

I think is a great idea, I have to say I would be fine bringing my own food to a picnic wedding sounds like a great plan(but I would bring a pillow too).

The first of my school friends have got married this year one had hot food and one cold and I would have much preferred to bring and eat my own food.
A wedding is about new beginnings love and sharing joy with your friends and family not new posh clothes and putting a new couple in to debt just so the guest can eat a meal as payment for coming to there wedding.

Go for the picnic (with every one ticking some thing off the list of food), have fun and ice cream even if it rains.

Thank you everyone. So much to plan.
byanymeans - "ice cream in the rain" Hee he sound like fun!

i think it's a fantastic idea - I'm having a picnic wedding myself next year. We're providing basic picnic fodder in the afternoon and a hog roast at night but I would be totally fine with bringing food to a wedding - I think it gives it a wonderful laid back, sharing vibe. Not every wedding has to be a formal, sit down carbon copy of the last one you went to... That way it becomes more a exercise in showing off to your peers than sharing a very special moment in your lives with those closest to you. I never enjoy weddings that feel like they've been replicated (at great cost) from the pages of an overpriced magazine! The MOST important thing is that you celebrate your marriage in the way that you are most comfortable doing - which I also think should mean NOT putting yourselves in debt for years afterwards. Since when did weddings become more about fulfilling the expectations of the guests than the couple?! And the guests that don't see things that way quite frankly have no business being there. Rant over - have a wonderful wonderful day!

We did it, and loved it, as did all the guests.

It would be very rude to even ask people to bring a dish I think!

Get yourself a Costco card - they are brilliant for party foods and very high quality.

If its only 40 people, you can rope in a few freinds to help, and start saving now for food and drink. I reckon you could do it for £500 and provide everyone with a nice picnic and a few drinks.

Like the IDEA of a picnic, but what if it rains? 40 people standing around in a damp tent?!

Whatever you do, hope its great!

I think it's a really nice idea - it's normal for people to bring stuff to a picnic or barbeque isn't it, so I don't see why it suddenly becomes inappropriate because you happen to be signing the marriage register on the same day as the picnic. Would be less good if people were travelling from far afield, staying in hotels etc. But if it's just a few local friends and relatives coming over for the afternoon, I don't see the problem.

As for sitting on the ground, I'd be fine with this, assume you'd make it clear that it's an informal day so no need for people to get dressed up in all the frocks and heels and hats etc! Chairs for any older people or anyone who might have difficulty getting up and down though.

Definitely have a backup plan in case of rain though, even if it's forecast to be fine, you never know!