BFing + solids +night wakings + allergies + food refuser. HELP I'm in a total MESS!

[kalo12]

Basically I did weaning all wrong, was on hol, all my friends babies were just opening their mouths eating everything. I thought it was easy so didn't really get too stressed , gave jars etc.

Well, ds is now 9 1/2 months and barely eats solids and I don't know what i'm doing anymore. alot of advice : he's teething, its a phase, tried blw? etc. Taken it all on board but not really getting anywhere.

He is allergic to dairy and gluten. He prefers feeding himself rice cakes mainly but not much else. Used to sometimes have mush of chicken and broccolli, banana rice pudding (although not bananas) but now won't take a spoon.

He wakes every hour in the night and I bf back to sleep , tried various sleep methods but he is awake all night long - for four days in a row last week, until i feed him.

I want to sort this out but don't know where to start. I'm worried he is getting enough nutrition now, and not surprisingly I've got PND.

So here's the main points to consider.

1. Is he getting too much milk which is putting him off solids? Should I do timed feeds.
2. Should I sort the feeding out first or the sleeping?
3. Should I withhold milk in the day so that he eats solids?
4. would putting him nursery away from me for bf improve things?
5. Is bf nutritious enough for under 1's
6. What is a good book? (not annabel Karmel and her stupid recipes but a step by step instruction that I can start at 9 months)

This is sending me round the twist (sorry for long post)

i dont know anything about the allergies and it sounds awful - my sympathies...

just wanted to say that i dont think a newborn will often sleep 4-5 hours at a time and nor should they really if you want to keep your supply up/establish the bf...

not relevant to the OP though sorry...

mmm this is all really useful and interesting, thanks williamsmummy, infact before weaning he was sleeping 3-4 hours and sometimes even 5. everything went downhill from weaning onwards, everyone put it down to teething of course.

thanks for everyones support, i'm beginning to feel a bit paranoid at feeding him anything at the moment, then veering towards thinking he's not allergic to anything and its just my imagination.

maybe i will put off sleep training till at least 12 months.

theres loads of rubbish under my sofa

Kalo, I hope things get better for you soon. If at all possible I would try and space the feeds out just a little bit, even to every 2.5 hours will seriously help your own sanity. I know I was completely frazzled when sleep was at its worst so you have all my sympathy. Good luck.

I feel for you, it could have been me at this stage. DD now turned 2. Have you cut out all potentially allergic foods from your diet too, as for me it went through the breastmilk?

I did gradual retreat (look up on internet) shh pat method before one year and then a very limited controlled crying (never let her cry for more than 30mins and went in every 5,10,15 mins) when she turned 1 which worked in 2 nights. DO NOT TALK TO A HV - they will say no night feeds, controlled crying, give up BFing etc...

My DD did not really eat solids until 13 months. Cutting down BFing never helped with solids (everybody will tell you it will) and when she self weaned at 22 months (probably because I'm pregnant) it made no difference to her eating. She doesn't have cows milk, has never liked it although try and give two pieces of dairy a day (not with much success).

Your biggest problem IMO is not having somebody do some of the nighttime for you. Have you got your mother, MIL or can you DH take time off work a week or so - getting DD to do longer stretches in the night only worked when DH went in as I smelt of milk.

I wish somebody had told me that my DD would be fine on just BM up to one year old. She was and was quite round despite eating only virtually no solids.

Good luck and get some help. Personally wouldn't do nursery - spend the money on a night nanny if you can't get any help from family at nighttime.

tapster- was your dd putting on weight?
is breast milk really enough for first year? my ds is only little but putting on about 2 oz a week at the moment.
what happened after 30 mins of cc is she wasn't asleep? did you feed her?

one hv who seems ok said i should start by just not bf between midnight and 2 for a week then increase to 3 hours the next week and 4 the next etc and by a month he will be sleeping 12 til 5. what do you think about that method?

i'm moving in two weeks so waiting til then mainly cos i've got so much to organise in the day that i know i will give up in the night.

My DD did keep putting on a small amount of weight but she did start off on the 91st centile but dropped to below the 75th but I stopped getting her weighed after about 10 months, as long as active it doesn't really matter and they often lose/stop putting on weight once they start crawling. My DD literally ate 6 peas at lunch time and about 5 swirls of pasta and pesto most days if I was lucky. It took over 100 attempts to get her to carrots - I laugh when they say it takes them 10-20 times to like a new food.

Trying to space out feeds bit by bit (30mins every few days) is a good idea to try and get you to have a 12-5am stretch. However stay with your DC when they wake or ideally send somebody else. I'm a firm believer that children under 1 should not be left alone to cry.

I read one of Tania Byron books and she said at one years old, do 5,10,15 mins go in and reassure. After 30mins I did feed. But it worked in 2 nights and daytime naps took about a week but she was about one years old. I can count on the fingers on one hand the number of times she has woken in the last year. She used to wake 5-7 times a night at 8 months.

Gradual retreat took much longer to work than controlled crying above but is much better for children under 1 years old. They do cry but you never leave them alone - put the words in google and you will find a site that will tell you how to do it.

Good luck with moving.

Has your DC got a comfort item - blanket/taggie/soft toy that helped with us.