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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

BLW and eating out

34 replies

NaToth · 12/08/2021 14:29

SGM here, wondering if I am being unreasonable. After all, I haven't weaned a baby since 1989. Please don't flame me, I'm just trying to understand.

DSGC is sixteen months. Since they were about eight months and able to sit independently, DSD has been doing BLW. DSGC doesn't seem to actually eat much, although they are also still being BF in the day and through the night. Almost everything offered gets thrown, not just dropped, on the floor, often landing some distance away.

At home, this is fine, as it goes. I just put newspaper on the floor and that catches most of it and makes it easy to clear up. However, because of family circumstances we eat out quite a lot.

DSD is not embarrassed at all by the mess left on floors in pubs and restaurants and never makes any move to even offer to help clear it up. DH and I are both uncomfortable about it. It seems to us to be disrespectful to the staff. Are we out out of step?

Is this usual? What do you do about this? Is the throwing food thing just a phase that they will grow out of? We're due to go out for dinner at the weekend and I just know the same thing will happen again.

Thank you.

OP posts:

Wjevtvha · 12/08/2021 14:31

I did baby led weaning with my two DC with varying success and always picked everything up from the floor when we were out; my DC are pre school age now and I still do if they drop things as surely that’s just manners?

dementedpixie · 12/08/2021 14:33

Food should be picked up regardless of weaning method

Worldgonecrazy · 12/08/2021 14:34

You are not out of step, if anyone, baby or adult, makes excess mess, the polite thing to do is offer to clean up. Often the hospitality staff will step in, but at least you have had the manners to offer.

The hospitality industry is stretched and under staffed more than usual, so why not try and make their working lives easier?

hernamewas · 12/08/2021 14:35

I do blw weaning with mine and she is 18months and still makes a a huge mess.

I don't clean it up no. It occurred to me the other day because of a post on here maybe I should. I suggested it to my mum when we are out and my dc made a huge mess. Mum looked at me like I was crazy.

If you dropped your plate at a restaurant would you clean it up?

ohthestruggles · 12/08/2021 14:36

If you dropped your plate at a restaurant would you clean it up?

I would help clean it up, yes

dementedpixie · 12/08/2021 14:38

@hernamewas

I do blw weaning with mine and she is 18months and still makes a a huge mess.

If you dropped your plate at a restaurant would you clean it up?

Of course I would try and clean it up!
I also have a habit of piling plates to make them easier for staff to take away

KatieKat88 · 12/08/2021 14:40

Mess is normal. Not cleaning it up is not normal. I always pick up anything that is big enough and will have a sweep round with a napkin to try and get crumbs so it won't be spotless but similar to the rest of the floor at least! If there was a real catastrophe I'd ask staff if they have a brush/mop but it's never been that bad.

Terrible manners to just leave food on the floor. I'd do it myself if I were you for my own sanity (not that you should have to, but I couldn't just leave it like that for staff to deal with!)

hernamewas · 12/08/2021 14:42

I do always help with passing the plates.

Serenschintte · 12/08/2021 14:43

Mine are now teens but I did BLW ish. When we went out to eat I would bring punches/breadstick etc.
That much mess is too much.
I’m sorry, it must be embarrassing

idontlikealdi · 12/08/2021 14:44

I wouldn't dream of leaving the mess. We even had these great tray / table covers so they could drop what they wanted and we just rolled them up with everything in them to go straight in the bin.

LittleRedPill · 12/08/2021 14:45

You should clear up after your baby regardless of feeding method. I alway did. It’s downright disrespectful to the staff not to.

That said, I did blw 10 years ago with mine and honestly don’t remember it being particularly messy when out. I didn’t put huge amounts of food on the baby’s tray and when it was obvious they’d had enough (ie, started mashing/smearing/dropping it) I removed the food.

FelicityPike · 12/08/2021 14:48

@hernamewas

I do blw weaning with mine and she is 18months and still makes a a huge mess.

If you dropped your plate at a restaurant would you clean it up?

Of course I would!

MaverickDanger · 12/08/2021 14:49

DS is 7 months and BLW. We go out for lunch regularly and will either get him some food or he has some of mine.

I wouldn’t dream of leaving it as a mess, I’d be mortified & I always ask for a cloth or dustpan & brush at the end. 9/10 the staff will say they will sort it, but I will always pick up the big bits and push smaller bits into a pile.

I personally find it really rude to expect others to pick up your mess.

NoYOUbekind · 12/08/2021 14:53

Yeah, this is nothing to do with a weaning method, it's basic manners. I would always clear up or at least offer to clear up and I would also apologise profusely for any mess and tip well too. It's a massive pita to have to do a floor clean in the middle of a waiting shift.

I would also do as a pp said and bring less messy food too. I know BLW is a 'system' where you just give baby what you're having but if I'm having soup in a restaurant, the wean is getting breadsticks and that's that.

Crowsaregreat · 12/08/2021 15:06

I would pick up big bits but I wouldn't fully get on hands and knees and wipe up every last crumb. Adults leave the odd crumb or crust and don't feel the need to clean up. Also as a customer, I'd want the venue to ensure a table is clean rather than expecting the last customer to do it! So it's a bit of a balance really. I did blw but would remove food if the kids started dropping or throwing food, it's a sign they're bored with it rather than exploring it.

viques · 12/08/2021 15:08

@hernamewas

I do blw weaning with mine and she is 18months and still makes a a huge mess.

If you dropped your plate at a restaurant would you clean it up?

Out of interest what do you do if you go out for a picnic? Leave your crap for someone else to pick up? What is your position on eating fish and chips on the beach? Leave leftovers for the seagulls?

Sorry, but you really do sound remarkably grim. You make a mess, you clean it up.

Original poster

NaToth · 12/08/2021 15:40

Thanks all. I think that's answered my question.

I think I now need DH to have a word with her before we have broccoli all over the carpet again on Saturday.

OP posts:

Abouttimemum · 12/08/2021 15:43

Good lord yes, it’s not unusual for kids to throw / drop food but absolutely it should be cleaned up! we always clean up after DS aged 2 even though most of it goes in his mouth now. Still like a little wipe round. It’s basic respect.

I also hate seeing families leave pubs and restaurants with food all over the floor, around the table etc. It’s awful.

Abouttimemum · 12/08/2021 15:45

Also at 16 months it doesn’t matter what weaning method is used, kids get food all over the floor. DS wasn’t blw and he was still messy.

Greenbuttonsbluebuttons · 12/08/2021 15:46

@hernamewas

I do blw weaning with mine and she is 18months and still makes a a huge mess.

If you dropped your plate at a restaurant would you clean it up?

Let me guess, you’re the sort to say ‘but they’re paid to clean up’

Yanbu, if either of my dc make a mess (no matter their age) I always tidy up as best as I can. It’s disrespectful to leave such a mess.

Buttons294749 · 12/08/2021 15:47

I put napkins under the high chair /where it would be thrown but in a way so that nobody would slip on them. And of the meal you simply pick up and dispose!

Keladrythesaviour · 12/08/2021 15:55

I used to run a café and I hated it when moms/dads/grandparents left a mess. If you came and asked for stuff to clear up 99% of the time I would say "oh no don't worry, I'll sort it" but just packing up and leaving is shocking manners. It's also dangerous. I've slid on a squashed grape before whilst carrying a test of hot drinks. I was lucky a customer grabbed me as I went down and there was no one to the side of me where I checked the tray. If you leave a mess and don't notify anyone it's an hazard in a busy and dangerous environment.

My MIL tried to pull that nonsense on me when out with my autistic (non verbal) niece. I went and got a dustpan and brush and made her sweep it up whilst I cleaned down the chair.

Servers are there to serve you and to tidy up/disinfect after you, not clean up baby feeding trials. Trust me they've got enough to do and aren't servants or maids

So no, you aren't wrong. Your DSD will be leaving a trail of pissed off serving staff behind her!

Keladrythesaviour · 12/08/2021 15:58

*test=tray ...

Amz6219 · 12/08/2021 15:59

BLW with our son and it was MESSY - we would leave round where he was sat cleaner than when we arrived!

It is a naturally messy process, but yes I think it is really rude to leave it a mess :-/

Throwntothewolves · 12/08/2021 16:03

BLW is, in my opinion, just a pretentious way of saying 'weaning' really. It most definitely isn't an excuse to trash restaurant floors. Surely part of the process is teaching the child not to throw their food. I think it's rude not to offer to clear up the mess.
I never worried about the mess DS made when eating at home as the dogs cleared food up as soon as it hit the ground. But if we were out I would pick up any dropped bits of food.

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