Nearly 11 month old - no time for weaning

[lumpydaisy]

[Writing this when all I've eaten today is a couple of biscuits, so low blood sugar might be making me feel worse about this, but this is still something I feel most days...]

Obviously this makes me feel like a total failure, but either
a) I genuinely am just rubbish
b) my baby/life is unique and we're screwed
c) there's some trick I've missed

When do you prepare food for baby??!

She hardly naps and seems to be going to bed at 9pm at the moment. So when she's asleep isn't an option.
I don't have time to feed myself, so "just do it when you make your own food" isn't much of an option. At the moment I can't cook dinner until she's gone to bed, and by that point it's pretty much cook, eat, wash her bottles, go to bed.
She gets furious in highchair after literally a few minutes. Not long enough to do anything. And if she's already furious then she won't eat, so it's a total waste of time.
If I save her leftovers, or make anything in advance, I still need long enough to go into kitchen and reheat it. I have to abandon her in the living room to do this, which she often protests about, and I don't feel I can leave her for long.
I can't put her on the floor in the kitchen, I don't think that would be safe. There isn't enough room without risking dropping something on her, tripping over her etc., the floor is slate and she's starting to crawl so I'd be freaking out about her banging her head (she headbutts the floor regularly).
She's almost 11 months, I can't hold her and prepare anything at the same time. I have never been able to wear her and do anything (I couldn't reach past her even when she was tiny, I'm short with even shorter arms!).

I genuinely don't know what I'm meant to do. Am I meant to leave her alone for half an hour multiple times a day, to prepare anything for her? She's dairy free too so I find that a huge mental block.

Honestly get some jars or Ella kitchen pouches or AK ready meals, get yourself some ready meals, start eating together. Once you get into a routine of eating together it will become easier.

Toast
Chopped pear
Chopped apple
Banana
Chopped cucumber
Mashed avacado
Halves grapes
Yoghurt
Even scrambled eggs all take less than 3 min!

There’s so many options that take barley any effort or prep or washing

I just used to hold mine while I prepped their food, mostly things I'd made them previous night, refrigerated in portions and just needed to reheat. I learned to do pretty much everything one handed because my first baby would never let me put her down. From about 14 months she'd sit in the high chair with a few toys while I prepped it, but before that I just did things with one hand!

I have the same issue. I do some cooking after they're in bed (after 21h). Or I make something really quick and easy (instant mash and ham for instance).

No TV (we don't own one and I'm staunchly against screen time for babies anyway). I distract with toys and just accept that sometimes he'll cry while I make food. He just has to learn that sometimes adults have to do things and can't pay him attention 100% of the time.

Giving him pieces of raw food to play with while you cook can also be a sensory introduction to food like carrot sticks (thin enough that he wouldn't choke on them) or cucumber, etc.

I rarely let mine crawl in the kitchen because we have a dog and they always seemed to end up with fur on them, even if I’d just cleaned. In our smaller kitchen, I used an activity centre thing that they sat in and could spin around to play with all the toys. When we had a bigger kitchen, I used a walker. I know there are a lot of thoughts on those, but I figured a cumulative twenty minutes while I prepared food wasn’t going to be a problem. Both items were purchased secondhand very inexpensively.

DD (10 months) screams whenever I leave the room so I feel your pain. I’d love to have a playpen in the kitchen but there just isn’t room.

I usually give her a small snack - rice cakes, fruit, a piece of cheese - so she’ll sit in her high chair while I make her main food. I also don’t make anything that needs much prep so she has lots of boiled, fried, roasted or steamed veg/pieces of meat rather than a complicated dish (that can wait until she can eat exactly the same as us) and either pasta or toast for her carbs. Pre chopped fruit/veg/meat and fruit or yoghurt pouches help though that obviously increases the cost. Then I can talk to her while they are cooking or give her toys in her chair or take her back to the sitting room while it cooks if it’s anything that’ll take a while.

Honestly I felt the same way (and being tired doesn’t help one see even easy solutions!).

My best tips:

• Get a bouncer/play centre your baby can sit in for 10 mins so you can prep something
• Get some Ellas Kitchen pouches and snacks to have as easy back ups
• I got a steamer/blender which made things so easy. They’re about £80 so fairly pricey but it was my big breakthrough. I need 3 mins to prep, 1 min to blend when done. And I use it a lot to just steam easy finger foods like sweet potato, courgette, broccoli.
• Keep it really simple. Today my baby’s lunch was sliced cucumber, sliced avo, an a teeny slice of cheese. I chopped them while he was eating a bit of steamed sweet potato I had in the fridge from yesterday.

I felt like it was a huge project until I got started but it very quickly felt easy and really fun - and funny!

Good luck x

Hi OP, it can feel really exhausting devising three meals a day! My eldest is dairy free and it is tough. There’s a FB group called “vegan baby led weaning” which I’ve found useful for ideas on dairy substitutes etc.

You don’t mention baby’s dad - is he around? If so he needs to pitch in and get batch cooking! If you eachbatch cooked one meal a week, that would really make a dent in the daily grind of meal planning.

Here are a few dairy free, super quick staples in our house:

• avocado on toast sprinkled with seeds (eg chia or flaxseed)
• banana on toast with salt free peanut butter
• pasta with mashed avocado stirred through
• ready roasted chicken/salmon with microwave rice and frozen peas
• baked potatoes with tuna and cucumber on the side
• pasta with oatly cream cheese and frozen veg stirred through
• traybake with chicken, new potatoes and any veg

It’s hardly haute cuisine but the kids don’t seem to mind! Dairy free children need lots of fats so I add olive oil to everything and use nut butters as much as I can.

My DD was like yours, barely napped and protested when left even for a moment . Like a PP said, I'd put her in a high chair in the kitchen with a baby sensory video on YouTube. It generally gave me 10-15 minutes to make an omelette, boil some pasta etc. I also batched cooked on an evening - half an hour making a pasta sauce, or some chili, and then freeze it in 100ml pots so you can just chuck it in the microwave to defrost. Microwave rice is your friend, as is a steamer - you can chuck veg or fish in the just leave it. Yoghurt with chopped fruit, chunks of cheese, oat cakes, all perfectly reasonable food for a baby and takes seconds to sort out.

I also prioritized feeding DD over feeding me. Not ideal but sometimes necessary on particularly difficult days. It gets easier then they can feed themselves, as that frees up that feeding time to make bits then too.

Fruit
Cheese
Toast with various things on
Humous and bread sticks
Omelette
Instant noodles with frozen mixed veg in the microwave (use a little baby stock not any adult flavour powder)
Yoghurt
Pouches/jars

Are all things that it takes an amount of time to make that would be reasonable to leave a baby whingeing for as long as safe, so either in highchair whingeing or in playpen whingeing. And in the main are things that you can share, to keep you going, don't recommend the pouches so much though.

I agree with PP though you're likely to find food easier once you get a bit of help with sorting the sleep. One will help with the other for both of you even if it's just (forgive me) baby steps. But a hungry tired baby and equally hungry and tired mum is a combo that's going to make everything that bit trickier.

I have a 1 year old who will only contact nap and until recently coslept only when I was with her (we’ve finally cracked the cot in the last month though and I have my evenings back hurrah).

I tried a travel cot in the kitchen with a loaf of ball pit balls and some safe toys - could go in hall or lounge with door open if no room in kitchen? Worked for a bit for us.

Now I just stick her in the high chair with something instant whilst I get on with getting the main bit of the meal ready, so she has her raspberries or banana or whatever first to keep her busy, or I give her a breadstick or plain rice cake or occasionally shock horror a few of the baby crisps (Lidl version, we’re not made of money )

Really quick easy things to make - make sure you make yourself some too!

• toast with mashed avocado, or low salt/sugar beans, or scrambled egg done in microwave, or cream cheese alternative or nut butter - add some quartered cherry tomatoes and cucumber sticks or a bit of fruit
• oatcakes with any of the above
• packets of instant grains like the tilda kids rice that has different flavours and added veg, or you can get couscous or lentils etc - add tinned butter beans or tuna or cooked chicken and some frozen or tinned veg
• tinned mackerel or sardines, tinned new potatoes, frozen peas or green beans
• omelette - use a dairy free cheese or sprinkle over nutritional yeast for bonus nutrients and a savoury cheesy taste
• berries, coconut or soya yoghurt, some ground almonds or milled seeds or both, crumble in some weetabix or shredded wheat
• pitta bread fingers with hummus and cucumber/ tomato - shop bought hummus is ok, or you can make a dip just blitzing up butter beans and dairy free yoghurt with some lemon and garlic - I know that sounds like prep but it’s 30 seconds max! (Tuna blitzed with butter beans and lemon also works and makes a good dairy free sandwich filler or toast topper).

Once you’ve started eating more regularly I’m sure things will seem easier and more manageable, you really need to take care of yourself.

I find now what really works is to always always save and stash some of whatever I make. So if I’m chopping veg for dinner I chop extra into fingers and put them in a bag in the fridge so I don’t have to bother peeling and chopping next time. If I steam some carrot and sweet potato fingers I’ll do double and stick the extra in a Tupperware in the fridge - keeps for about 3 days and I stick them with whatever lunches we have (dd eats them cold but you could warm them again). If I make porridge the leftovers get baked in a silicone muffin tray for porridge muffins, they freeze really well then I can just take one out of the freezer and microwave for 30 seconds on a busy morning. If I make a pasta sauce I’ll freeze some in individual portions. I do chicken breasts in the slow cooker, shred it and freeze it in portions to add to other bits and bobs to make an emergency meal. I definitely embrace convenience too - ready chopped frozen veg always in the freezer, tinned fruit (in water or juice), microwave grains (check salt content). I make big frittatas and freeze in portions, and the what mummy makes books have some good recipes for easy stuff that freezes well. But that can all come later - for now just try to concentrate on eating regularly even if it’s toast and you have to make it one handed.

When ds was that age we had a gate across the kitchen and he played the other side of it.

She's going to have to get used to the floor eventually , all floors are hard and babies mostly don't have catastrophic falls,they learn to negotiate their way round.

Why is she going to bed at 9pm?

Hey OP, firstly it's hard work so don't beat yourself up...
This is my daily routine for 11m old baby:

• Wake up
• Breastfeed and nappy change
• Start breakfast in amongst me and DH doing other stuff such as washing up/quick tidy/get dressed BREAKFAST is usually porridge made on stove or hot milk (sometimes cows sometimes oat milk) warming up for weetabix.
• Feed DD brekkie
• Nap 1 9.30ish

I don't do much food prep in naps as I like to relax W or do a quick washing up sesh.

Cross post! Will finish it and re do shortly as that makes no sense! DD pressed send 😂

Sounds tough op. It's tricky when they are at that in-between stage. Is she walking yet? If she's crawling , as long as she is safe I'd let her get on with it and mine were very early walkers and movers etc.
I did just batch cook at weekends or my dh did and they are exactly what we ate , takes them a while to get into food. Are you breastfeeding? Is your child allergic to dairy?

TAKE 2 😅

Hey OP, firstly it's hard work so don't beat yourself up...
This is my daily routine for 11m old baby (I'm
on Mat leave till she's 1:

• Wake up 6.30/7
• Breastfeed and nappy change 7
• Start breakfast in amongst me and DH doing other stuff such as washing up/quick tidy/get dressed BREAKFAST is usually porridge made on stove or hot milk (sometimes cows sometimes oat milk) warming up for weetabix.
• Feed DD brekkie
• Play
• Nap 1 with a breast feed 9.30ish - 10.30/11
• Play
• she goes in the play pen while I prep lunch for her and me
• LUNCH 12.30 (if it's at 1 it's usually because we've been out so she would then have a snack upon waking from Nap 1)
• Play alone in play pen while I wash up a bit
• Play together
• nap 2 and breastfeed 2/3pm for an hour or so
• DH home and he entertains her while I'm prepping tea amongst him doing house stuff
• Tea 5/6
• Bathtime routine together
• DH does bedtime books
• Breastfeed to sleepy ish and then put down to sleep

I don't do any food prep during naps unless were off out somewhere. I am usually washing up/sorting wash load or hanging it out, and then relaxing with a cuppa during Nap 1. And then reading a bit in Nap 2 after a quick tidy.

I do food prep every 3 weeks and it's usually done over 3/4 evenings when DH is home and I usually prep a veg soup, a beef ragu, a tomato and carrot pasta sauce and a random option such as lentil curry. So that we've always got tea time options for cba days

But yes as PPs have said she will have to entertain herself in the play pen or wherever whilst you're doing a quick 15 min meal put together !

My eldest couldn’t be left for long so I can empathise. I used a play pen for him as kitchen not safe for him to crawl around and separate room to living room so couldn’t leave him there with baby gate. He used to cry and scream if left for just a minute, abs rock his high chair terribly (and scream) if in the kitchen with me. I made very quick things. So cereal for breakfast, sandwiches / crackers and hummus etc for lunch and then teas were mostly things that could be reheated.

With second, I’ve got a new high chair he can’t rock (and put some Cheerios etc on tray for him) and done away with the play pen and got a jumperoo instead which he loves. We still do quick breakfast and dinners but for tea it’s either whatever we’re having or reheated leftovers / batch cooked portions. I try to cook / prepare at different times of the day to take the pressure off tea. Eg. Whilst he’s eating toast for breakfast, I put something in slow cooker for tea, then it’s quick to dish up. Or put slow cooker on overnight so in the morning just portion up and freeze / reheat

Haven't read the full thread but possible solutions for not wanting to leave her crawling in the kitchen

• car seat on the floor if you have one?
• strapped in buggy in kitchen doorway so she can see you?

In terms of food, breakfast literally takes 2 mins to prepare I normally do

• toast and butter
• yoghurt and fruit purée
• weetabix/ready brek/ baby porridge
• fruit

DD is 7 mo so still on 2 meals a day but for dinner I do

• salmon, asparagus, pasta
• cod, potato, broccoli
• chicken, sweet potato
• parsnip & mince

Etc

I cook these in big enough batches that I always have 2 large ice cube trays in the freezer full of meals - think they hold 8 each so 16 meals on hand for when there isn't enough time.

I have a Velcro baby who won't sleep without me so have to cook during her wake windows. I find that if I do it straight after her first nap I am then free to play and do whatever else with the day.

Also tip is to cook things that you don't have to constantly watch. So veg - on to boil, back to baby. Protein - in the oven, back to baby. So wouldn't have to slave over the stove.

Is your kitchen big enough for a highchair? Get a second hand one cheap off gumtree, a foldable one won't get in the way and she might like watching you. Or a sling on your back.

Turn your meals upside down so don't attempt to make evening meal the main one as she'll be more tired and averse to trying new things. Lunch is better for challenging food. Make dinner toast based or do baby porridge (oats, mash banana and milk in microwave, cut into fingers).

You cd also try taking food to the park for a picnic on a nice day. They often try things more when in a different place.

For keeping her contained, use a collapsible play pen or baby gates. Hey Duggee or Cocomelon etc for 10 minutes. You can keep an eye on her.

If you're not doing anything too complicated, she certainly can be in the kitchen with you. Toddlers fal over all. the. time. They bery rarely hurt themselves. If you don't make a fuss; she won't make a fuss.

Start simple with toast and chopped up fruit and vegetables. I used to always have little breadsticks in for them to gnaw on while I finished up cooking.

When I started weaning I'd put baby in a high chair and make scrambled eggs with some chopped up cherry tomatoes and frozen chopped spinach in and some toast strips. Takes less than five minutes and he loved it. I'd sometimes put chuggington or Hey Duggee on too if making something longer and give some toys to ply with. Have you tried the Ella pouches? Baby yogurts and porridge too, super quick. Chopped up strawberries and bananas were winners.

I’ve a dairy and egg free 4 year old and a dairy and soya free one year old so I understand it’s difficult. If you have enough to buy some instant food it’s easier. Cow and gate make quite a few jars dairy free as do hipp organic, both mine love cow and gate spag Bol. I think it’s mainly carrots but it heats up in 1 minute. The Ella’s pouches are really good and many are dairy free. All the for Aisha pouches are dairy free and these actually taste nice.
There are the old standbys of fish fingers and potato waffles, the latter cook in the toaster. Toasted sandwiches with dairy free cheese. Beans on toast, use the snap pots.
I also serve food in stages. When they cry I’m hungry I give them a breadstick, put something in the oven quick and then as they finish the bread stick it’s a few slices of cucumber. When they eat the cucumber, I can chop and apple or could have microwaved a frozen packet of steam fresh veg which they can eat whilst the food is finishing in the oven.
I use the cow and gate fruit pots a lot and the koko dairy free yogurt is good.

OP, you ask:

Am I meant to leave her alone for half an hour multiple times a day, to prepare anything for her?

The answer is: yes

In a playpen, or cot. Not when she is already desperately hungry, but for example after a meal.

You need these breaks to feed yourself too

Not feeding yourself or weaning baby because you have to hold her 24/7 is not the way, imo

Good luck

Put her in the high chair near you and give her a "starter" while you prepare the meal - a breadstick or a bit of cucumber to gum. Then crack on.