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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Original poster

17 month old won't eat anything

31 replies

Lucy304 · 28/06/2021 17:37

Please help, I'm at my wits' end.

We have been trying to wean DD since she was 6 months old. We've tried everything. Everything. Other than that, her development has been normal.

Anyway, at her paediatric appointment last week, we were told enough is enough. Take away the formula completely and have finger foods out all of the time so she can help herself. The thinking is, if she's hungry, she'll eat.

Except, she won't.

We're now on day 5, and apart from a bottle of cow's milk in the morning, and again in the evening (which we were told to give her), she doesn't have anything. No food or liquid of any description between about 7 am - 6 pm. She refuses everything.

How long can we keep this up? Will she eventually give in? It seems so wrong.

My smiley, happy, chatty little girl is now sad, lethargic and, at times, completely inconsolable. It's breaking my heart. Please help.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 28/06/2021 18:52

I'm sorry but I dont think you can continue to withhold milk if she isn't eating anything. Does she like any foods at all?

Original poster
Lucy304 · 28/06/2021 19:06

Hi, thanks for taking the time to reply. That's exactly how I feel, but it's what I have been told to do. They said if we continue to give her formula we will never get over this issue. She pushes away all food, if we try and persevere she just goes into a massive tantrum. We have been told there's no medical issue, it's behavioural and we need to start being firm. It's going against every instinct that I have and I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
linerforlife · 28/06/2021 19:13

I would give her a bottle of formula immediately, followed by bath and bed. Then sit down yourself with a cuppa and recognise your mum instincts are right. Tell the dietician tomorrow you want a second opinion as you don't feel forcing your daughter to go without milk is the right way for her or your family.

linerforlife · 28/06/2021 19:15

Also sending you a handhold OP as this sounds v hard and you've had a horrible few days by the sound of it. Give her a bottle and some nice sleepy cuddles, and know you're an excellent loving mum.

dementedpixie · 28/06/2021 19:18

I'd try any old food even if its junk food, just to get anything down her. Will she not even feed herself anything by hand?

Wingingthis · 28/06/2021 19:20

Agree give the formula and ask for a second opinion, 5 days is long enough to safely say you’ve given it your best attempt and it’s not working. Does she like anything at all? Just plain stuff like toast fingers with butter?
Is it texture related - does she like yoghurt? You sound like a lovely mum xx

Theunamedcat · 28/06/2021 19:22

Have you sat here infront of the television?distraction might help?

Theunamedcat · 28/06/2021 19:23

Her not here

Zippy1510 · 28/06/2021 19:23

Why does it have to be finger foods? What about spoon feeding purées with some formula mixed in to help the transition?

Mimosa1 · 28/06/2021 19:28

Oh gosh, that sounds so distressing for you both. I'm sure you've already thought of this, but just in case, might she have some water? And yoghurt? I agree that 5 days sounds plenty of time to know that things aren't working!

GingerBeverage · 28/06/2021 19:28

It sounds like an aversion.

I would book a solids consultation here ASAP www.babycareadvice.com/collections/support-options/products/solids-consultation-post-aversion

Her bottle feeding aversion advice was invaluable to us.

Original poster
Lucy304 · 28/06/2021 19:43

Thank you all so much for the advice and support, I really needed that today.

All the feeding suggestions we have already tried... Spoon-feeding, DD feeding herself, toast, yoghurt, various things mixed with formula, all manner of junk food...

Not tried the distraction method yet but will tomorrow, I'm desperate and she does love watching the ipad!

Also thank you for the solids consultation link, had never heard of this before but it's definitely worth exploring.

I have been feeling like a terrible mum, your comments have made me feel soooo much better, so thank you all xxx

OP posts:
BeeyatchPlease · 28/06/2021 20:30

We had to use distraction to get DS to eat. He has zero interest in any food at all. It went against everything I said I wouldn't do but we put the iPad on at meal times. I had to spoon feed him initially and when he realised he liked some foods, he would pick away at it himself while watching the iPad. Once we got a few different meals that we knew he would eat, we had to wean him off the iPad!
He's not the most amazing eater now but since turning 3, he's got so much better and is willing to try just about anything now.
It's hard but you need to figure out a way that you're both happy with and it will get better.

dopeyduck · 28/06/2021 20:51

@linerforlife

I would give her a bottle of formula immediately, followed by bath and bed. Then sit down yourself with a cuppa and recognise your mum instincts are right. Tell the dietician tomorrow you want a second opinion as you don't feel forcing your daughter to go without milk is the right way for her or your family.
Absolutely this.
Original poster
Lucy304 · 29/06/2021 22:24

Thank you to those who posted replies after my last message. We have now reintroduced formula and have a happy, content little girl once again. I know that she needs to move away from it, but having done more research today the cold turkey approach isn't widely advocated because, by and large, it doesn't work. So we have come up with a plan to gradually reduce her formula whilst offering a variety of different foods for her to get to grips with. This just seems so much more sensible to me! Fingers crossed we make some progress, and thank you again to everyone who sent some advice my way.

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 05/07/2021 12:03

How are things working out fit you today? Have you tried distracting her yet and if so, did you have any success?

Horehound · 05/07/2021 12:06

Has she seen other babies eating? I'd be tempted to invite another child around for a snack or lunch so she can copy

That1GreenBottle · 05/07/2021 12:07

Things milky...
Angel delight
Yoghurt
Ice cream
Rusks
Rusks dipped in milk
Custard
Biscuits dipped in milk
Eating theses with her making it exciting, saying how yummy they are which you're probably doing xxx

Original poster
Lucy304 · 05/07/2021 20:24

Hi, thanks for the new replies. We have a new routine which is working much better. DD has formula first thing in the morning and last thing at night. She has cows' milk just before her afternoon nap. In between these three bottle feeds, we offer puree, either two or three times a day. Mostly, she will eat some. If she doesn't want it, we clear it away and try again later. I'm not as stressed about it because I know she's still getting nutrition from her formula so the whole feeding process is much more chilled. We also leave finger foods and water out so she can help herself. At the moment all she will do with these is pick them up and try and feed us, the cats, her teddies etc but at least she's getting used to different colours and textures. We eat them in front of her too so hopefully it will start to sink in what she needs to do with them! The plan over time is to gradually reduce the formula and increase the food, steadily increasing the thickness and lumpiness of what we offer. We don't have a follow-up Paeds appointment until November so we've got plenty of time for progress. Not that I'm following their ridiculous advice anyway! Thank you again for all helpful comments.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucy304 · 05/07/2021 20:26

Oh and just to add, we did try the distraction thing but it didn't really make much difference. If she wants to eat, she will eat. If she doesn't, you may as well leave her be. Think I've got a very headstrong little girl on my hands...

OP posts:
Horehound · 05/07/2021 22:53

Yeh sounds like you have your head screwed on about it all anyway. She will get there on her own time :)

Maggiesfarm · 06/07/2021 04:18

@Horehound

Has she seen other babies eating? I'd be tempted to invite another child around for a snack or lunch so she can copy
I thought the same, it might work. Babies and children like to do things together and copy each other. Parents can be a bit (understandably), intense about such matters.

Mashed banana with some milk?

I hope she eats soon but am glad you are not following the dietician's advice which didn't work anyway.

Original poster
Lucy304 · 06/07/2021 18:54

Hi, thank you for your replies. I completely agree with the idea of getting her to eat with other children. Unfortunately DD has been in lockdown for nearly all of her little life so we've not had much opportunity for this so far. But we have started going to cafés/ restaurants a bit now, and had my friend's daughter round, who's a little older. I'm going to look at getting her in a toddler group to increase her level of interaction with little people too. We will try anything and everything!

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 07/07/2021 09:05

Now things are settling a little, I'd leave it a few weeks then drop the first bottle and instead give her a cup of formula with her breakfast. Blueberry pancakes have always gone down well here and it's something that everyone in the family can have Smile

Ladypuggerz · 07/07/2021 09:22

Look up solidstarts on Instagram; so much clear and helpful information about weaning and picky eating. Definitely follow your instincts. She won't be drinking formula into adulthood Hmm. Do get a second opinion if you can! Smile

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