"Just feed him what you eat"

[SpadesOfGlory]

Is it just me who's confused about how to actually do this?

7 month old DS (weaned from 5months due to reflux) has progressed brilliantly from purees to what I would call proper meals. He's confidently chewing and there isn't really anything he wont eat. The HV said to get him eating "family meals" as soon as possible, just give him what we're eating without adding salt.

This is where I get confused. If I make a homemade mild curry, the curry paste has loads of salt in! And if I do mince, carrots and onions there's a stock cube or gravy granules in it, same with cottage pie etc. Can DS eat these? Does it mean just not to add separate salt to your cooking? So far I've just been giving him pasta and tomato based sauces, bolognaise etc, fish and mash, scrambled egg and toast, but would love to know if I can give him our "normal" meals or if I have to alter it in any way?

The adults prioritise eating with the kids over eating with each other. My husband and I compromise by having snacks in the evenings instead. Not healthy but we like to eat delicious things together like cheese and pate and things like that.

@AlohaMolly

Maybe the stuff you gave him had too many complex flavours. My kids are between half and full Caribbean but only one will happily tuck into a curry. They are generally happier to eat Caribbean food once or twice a week and things like pastas or meat/fish and two veg the rest of the time.

Your approach sounds sensible OP. We do very much the same - no added salt in anything, and low salt stock etc where possible. Can always add salt at the table if desired.

Eating some meals as a family is important but it has to fit with restrictions such as working and commuting! As long as you have some meals together each week your DC will see how mealtimes work.

You may find that as they get older your DC will only want to eat the same as you! My DS will point and moan if he notices he's got different food to us, although he's 15mo now and (currently) eats pretty much anything. It's made for some messy mealtimes but saves us preparing different food.

One tip I've found useful is that you can add a spoonful of plain yoghurt to spicy foods to neutralise the heat. My DS will eat DH's Madras this way, and it also makes the sauce a bit thicker so we can mix the rice with it and it all sticks together.

No, ChilledBee it's because that's what small children are like. How many people do you actually know who are properly fussy adults? There's plenty of time for everything. How about you carry on with what you're doing, let everyone else carry on with what they're doing and I can guarantee that everything will be alright in the end.

How many adults do I know...? OMG. I know a lot of what I would term fussy eaters. I know people who probably eat a serving of vegetables once a month. No exaggeration. I wish these people were stricken for cash and that's why but no, I know someone who is surely a millionaire in terms of freely accessible of cash in the bank and eats beige, ready made food every day.

I know people who go into a french restaurant and can't eat anything on the menu - not even the chicken. Or can only have a spaghetti bolognese in the Italian and reject it if it says ragu.

I know that most fussy eaters have common traits:
Not eating with parents
Same sort of food every day
Rejection of fresh vegetables

I try to do it, but really tiny town life kind of makes low salt anything like going on a mission to find tartan paint. I usually make his first n split of a small adult portion n freeze what he wouldn’t eat in baby tubs (the fruit Heinz ones.. not gonna lie he loves them n I’d rather have a few for oh feck lunch moments) that way if we decide we want Chinese food or something salty/spicy or something with dairy we can heat him a dinner too without needing to sit on our hands worried if it contains xyz or worrying about salt/spices.

We’re one of the mad family’s who manage to roughly eat together.. dp is home by 6 and gets it launched at him as he comes in and ds is an owl child who doesn’t wake till 8.30-9 bottle then breakfast takes us to 11 bottle at half 12ish lunch 3 bottle around 4 and dinner comes out at 6 bottle at 8/9 depending on when he’s hungry n then he relaxes till 10 when I take him upstairs n he’s in his bed by 11... he’s 7 months old.

We're talking about babies here, weaning, not children. The vast majority of adults will not have done baby led weaning because it wasn't a thing 30+ years ago. I can't think of any adult fussy eaters... a few with historical eating disorders which still affects them, but no-one who won't touch a vegetable or only eats beige food.

I would also like to know how you prioritise eating together when your partner gets in at 8pm and your baby is already in bed 😂

Its very easy to make salt free meals and adults add salt at the table to taste. Home made stock is easy to make and cheap, for gravy etc. If all your food is homecooked there is no issue. Babies can enjoy spicy food with loads of rice. Just look at your meals and imagine salt was unavailable, what would you do. curries mada without jar sauces are so much nicer and you can spice to taste

Buy low salt versions, take a bit of the sauce/mince/whatever out and set aside for him, before adding anything salty. With curry, mix some yogurt in to dilute. He won't eat a vast quantity anyway at this stage. Don't add salt to anything, you can season yours after serving if you want.

Like others, we altered how we cooked when children were small. Although to be honest, i love salt and prefer to add salt to my meal as i prefer the flavour. My mum didn't really cook with salt much so thats how I learned to cook.

Haven’t read the full thread but your title made me laugh. I was constantly told this but it’s easier said than done. Dd is 17 months now and I do give her everything I eat. She now has kids meals in restaurants to. But I found between 6 months and probably 14 months a nightmare.
I think the odd overly salty ingredient won’t hurt like the curry paste providing most of what dc eats is low/no salt. I tend to batch cook dd meals and add no salt. I’m finding it much easier now she’s older.

I would also like to know how you prioritise eating together when your partner gets in at 8pm and your baby is already in bed

Your grown up partner eats alone. You eat with the kid(s). Easy!

I know it is popular to treat a husband like a child on here but they really don't need you to mirror healthy eating habits like a child does so they can eat alone when they come in, and you have a shared mealtime with your child because they do need that from you. See the difference?

What about what I need? Quality time with my husband cooking and eating together, that's what. My DS is 2, he will have plenty of time to eat with us when he's older, he usually eats lunch with me in the week and us both at the weekend and if we do eat out he eats with us. He's fine, but thank you for your concern.
You're scaremongering...there is no single piece of evidence out there that says that a toddler or baby who eats separately will have poor eating habits. If you said to me that a child who reached adulthood never having a meal with family might struggle then I could see your point but that's not what we're talking about here. I don't really see why you're trying to make an argument here ChilledBee.

Quality time with my husband cooking and eating together,

I told you what I do with DH. We buy delicious snacks/desserts and have those together. You can also watch TV, fuck, cuddle, talk,play a game, give each other a massage, have a bath together, whatever else. It is just for a while until your kid(s) develop healthy eating habits. You'll have "plenty of time" to eat together when he's grown up at least a bit.

that's what. My DS is 2, he will have plenty of time to eat with us when he's older

He probably wont want to and you'll all have to eat like him to achieve anything like a family dinner.

Ah well, I tried. Will probably be deleted but you, chilled bee, can fuck right off. God knows why what I do and when I eat is any of your fucking business. My son loves all sorts of food, he eats loads of interesting stuff, I've already told you that. Just not exactly the same stuff as us. I never ate with my parents until I was mid primary age and guess what, I was fine. Children are like sponges, they pick stuff up really quickly...I can promise you it will all be fine so don't worry about me.

We're on a forum and you offered information. I'm just giving my opinion. To me, anything you write in a post can be commented on. If you don't like that, don't say it. But I'll repeat, fussy eaters are usually kids who didnt eat with their parents/ate different food to them so never learned to mirror adult eating behaviours when it is most important- when they are actually learning to eat.

I thought fussy eating tended to develop later anyway

Its only really on mumsnet I discovered some parents dont eat with their children. I must adkit mine ate with me (sometimes dad ate separately) and I decided it was defknitely soemthinv Id do
Id usually just save a portion for my husband of he was home.late!

I found this really hard too, OP. It never seemed to work out as easy as 'just give them what you're having' especially when I went back to work and it became much harder to cook from scratch in the week. We eat with toddler DC at 6.15 which gives only 30 mins from walking through the front door to food on the table.

But where possible I did what pp suggested and took a bit of the meal out just before the end, then upped the spice etc in what remained. DP and I used a lot more gravy or condiments on our food as well!

ChilledBee

I wrote a small post in reply to the OP just offering support. You picked my comment out of everyones for some reason and decided to tell me that my parenting will result in my child growing up to be a fussy, incapable eater. I wasn't starting an argument or talking about anything particularly contentious. I really didn't need you poking at me today, I really could have done without it. What you say has a fucking effect, do you realise that? I really resent your implication that I'm not doing the best for my child.
Also, sorry to OP for derailing somewhat.

I cooked things like potato, vegetables, mince etc and put them in ice cubes trays so you have a small portion when DC started food

You then know what is going in it

@MrMumble I really wouldn't worry about it. The same poster has been doing similar on another thread today... Clearly a very fabulous parent.

There was a newspaper piece yesterday or earlier in the week saying

Babies and Toddlers ate crisps before they ever had vegetables when starting weaning

I found it a pain in the neck to give dc 'what you normally have' especially since their mealtimes as babies (apart from breakfast) didn't coincide with ours at all. Endless fannying around keeping bits of this and that out of our meals so they could have it the next day? Really cba.